Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend

May 31 - June 13, 2002
Issue #1

  ..Buffalo's Best Fiend
Mayor to Star in Ganster Drama!
Masiello Rolls Out Red Carpet for The BEAST
Matt Taibbi

Adelphia Trading Cards
Collect them all!

BEAST Calling...
Adelphia Colletions, vol. 1
The Truth About our Intentions
Dispelling the Ugly Rumors
Prize Snooze

Matt Taibbi

ArtVoice Death Toll at 7

BEAST Physics Tips
Pressure & County Executive Joel Giambra

Say NO 2 Creed
Emergency Helpline

5-Day Misogyny Forecast

BEAST Public Service Announcement
What if you find Anthrax in your album collection?
Breathe on us, oh God!
Book Review
by John Dolan
The Blotter
Sports Crimewatch
Matt Taibbi
Wide Right
Bills Outlook
James R Miller
Bledsoe v. Johnson
Andrew, that is...
[sic] - Letters


 Cover Page 

The BEAST Blog
Irresponsible vitriol on a near-daily basis


Say No 2 Creed

no 2 creed

Say no to Creed

1 (866) 272-7584* (pin#2080)
The 24-hour, Toll-Free NO-CREED Emergency Helpline!

Of all the abominations ever to come out of the foul state of Florida, perhaps none is as hateful and potentially dangerous as the lumbering, posturing pseudo-Christian rock band CREED. From their overwrought lyrics and downright amusical riffmanship to the constant shirtless posing and would-be-soulful moaning of frontman fansScott Stapp, this band constitutes one of the most serious threats ever unleashed by the mainstream corporate music industry on an unsuspecting public. But whether you or someone you know is afflicted by this group's bombastic hard-rock stylings, the NO-CREED EMERGENCY HELPLINE is here to help.

  • Does your spouse play Creed records at high volumes to mask the screams when he beats you?
  • Does your son play in a Creed cover band--or, worse yet--play acoustic versions of Creed songs at open-mic nights?
  • Does your daughter scrawl the names of Creed band members onto every available space on her body using a pen, knife, or philips-head screwdriver?
  • Do you involuntarily hum Creed songs while stuck in rush hour traffic... although the radio is not even on?
  • Do you suspect a co-worker or someone else you know of being a secret Creed fan?

If you answered "Yes" to any one of these questions--or if you're just troubled by the whole Creed phenomenon in general and would like to talk to someone about it--then call the NO-CREED EMERGENCY HELPLINE for expert, professional advice and intervention before it's too late. From a touch-tone phone, just dial 1 (866) 272-7584, then enter then code 2080 when the recording asks for the pin number.

Call Now

* The NO-CREED Helpline is a toll-free call from anywhere within the Continental U.S. and Canada. Elsewhere, regular toll charges apply.

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