ATTENTION GENERAL POWELL!
Last week, Artvoice publisher Jamie Moses sent a letter to General Colin Powell to "warn" him about the BEAST. Concerned that he may not have gotten a response, we decided to call up the Department of State in Washington (202-647-4000) on his behalf:
DOS: Department of State.
BEAST: This is Jamie Moses from Artvoice in Buffalo. I sent the Secretary of State a letter last week, and I wanted to know if he'd gotten a chance to respond to it.
DOS: I'd have to give you the Public Affairs line...
BEAST: They already told me that they can't help me. I'm a little concerned. I sent him this letter about these people who write for the Nation, and are part of the ACLU, and he doesn't seem to be taking it seriously, and I wanted to know when he could respond to it.
DOS: Uh...Okay, is it dealing with overseas issues and countries, sir?
BEAST: Well, not exactly, it's dealing with my competitor in Buffalo. They're a small new newspaper, they have a circulation of about 10,000, and I think it's an urgent issue...
DOS: (baffled) Are you calling the U.S. Department of State, or your state State Department?
BEAST: The U.S. Department of State. Colin Powell.
DOS: Well, he wouldn't have anything to do with that, sir!
BEAST: Why not?
DOS: But that's in your state!
BEAST: But these people write for the Nation! They're part of the ACLU!
DOS: No, but we deal with overseas issues and countries!
DOS: Uh... well, uh, Public Affairs will have to help you, sir.
BEAST: (bitterly) Thanks.
DOS: Yeah. Thank you.