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The BEAST Page 3 Serpent Bride
Turn-ons: Thulsa Doom, mice, Boyz N the Hood, Shiva, heat rocks, competitive spitting, Fangoria, Cobra Command. Turn-offs: St. Patrick, mongooses, herpes, PETA, Cleopatra, Dodge Vipers, hood piercings, Eve, rattles, Nora Ephron, Zartan. How I got to be The BEAST PAGE 3 Serpent Bride: A lot of gals talk a good game, but I've really had it with men—and women. So I married a King Cobra. Sure, he's potentially deadly. It may sound naïve and cliché, but he's never hurt me and that's all that matters. He's a simple creature, who only needs a saucer of milk and the occasional lower-caste child. It's just nice to have someone who listens. What's more, my man's likely to grow 5 meters! Future Plans: Well, first I'm going to buy some goggles. Then, for my own personal safety, I think I'd like to learn to play the pungi: a snake charmer's flute. With any luck, we may one day work up to heavy petting. I think we'll be maintaining separate residences, however: I'm thin and impoverished, thoroughly inured to pestilence and squalor, but there's no way I can hack in it in an anthill. Meanwhile, we're delaying our honeymoon until August, for the premiere of Snakes on a Plane. That’s gonna rock! How I'd like to be Remembered: As somehow luckier than the girl from my town who, earlier this year, married a dog. Seriously, can you believe that? |
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Name:
Bimbala Das
