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ISSUE #107
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Features

ArrowGreat Gaffes Through the Ages
A comprehensive list

ArrowWhy ask Why?
Five years after 9/11, the question remains unanswered
Matt Taibbi

ArrowExtreme History Makeover
Lynne Cheney and the rules of history
Christopher Famighetti

ArrowYour Tax Dollars at Work
In Washington, another tale of waste and fraud unpunished
Matt Taibbi

ArrowBaby Suri Hates You, Wants You Dead
Scott Brochert and Josh Righter

Local BEAST
ArrowCON
Tom Reynolds, WNY’s human colostomy bag
Allan Uthman
Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Obscure Racial Epithet

ArrowKino Korner: Movies
Hollywoodland, The Black Dahlia, The Covenant, The Last Kiss, Gridiron Gang, The Protector

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
Gentleman Be Trippin', Hot Girl on Girl Misogyny, Our Illiterate Correspondent and more

The Beast Page 3
Obscure Racial Epithet

Allen TauntingName: “Macaca”

Turn-ons: Forcing Africans to speak French, being used as a code word for white supremacists “on the down low,” the new season of Survivor

Turn-offs: The liberal media, miscegenation, that damn “Head on” commercial

How I Became The BEAST Page 3 Obscure Racial Epithet: Well, if you listen to Virginia Senator George Allen, he just spontaneously made me up to describe the only dark person at a recent campaign event. But really, I mean, come on. Let’s look at the facts here: I’m an old racial slur used by French colonials in North Africa, and guess what? George Allen’s mom was born and raised in a French colony in North Africa. Allen himself used to keep a noose hanging in his law office and confederate flags draped the walls of his house. As governor of Virginia, he was closely associated with the Council of Conservative Citizens, a thinly veiled segregationist group. Allen didn’t make me up; he’s known me since he was a kid, and he knows exactly what I mean: macaque, as in the monkey. Not that I hate George or anything—I’ve been more popular in the last couple of weeks than in a very long time.

Future Plans: I’ll be bandied about in the press for a little while longer, and I plan to be the deciding factor in George Allen’s close victory in the Senate race. Then I’ll settle into a long slow burn as a semi-ironic slur passed between self-conscious racists in boardrooms and gyms throughout America.

How I want to be remembered: As a much more elegant slur than my crude American counterparts. French is such a beautiful language, n'est-ce pas?

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