Beast Banner October 5 - 19, 2006
ISSUE #108
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ArrowWelcome to the Monkey House
On Safari at “The Chapel” in Getzville

Ian Murphy

ArrowI, Left Gatekeeper
Why the "9/11 Truth" movement makes the "Left Behind" sci-fi series read like Shakespeare
Matt Taibbi

ArrowGet on Board
A farewell to Habeas Corpus in one act.

Allan Uthman

ArrowThe Madness of King Us
Think we're turning a corner? Think again

Donnie Dobovitch

ArrowSexual Predators
What can you do?

ArrowHow the Media Lies About China
"Try harder," American worker – and Thomas Friedman thinks everything will be fine
Matt Taibbi


ArrowPig Roast
Tom Reynolds is done. Let’s all stick forks in him.
Allan Uthman

ArrowBEAST Staff Aids Non-Millionaire
“Relief for Reynolds” Campaign a Modest Success
Josh Bunting

ArrowCaring is Hard Work!
A selection of transcripts from our neighborhood canvass in the 26th district.


ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Incredibly Full of Shit Asshole

ArrowKino Korner: Movies
Jackass Number Two, The Guardian, Flyboys, All the King's Men, School for Scoundrels, Fearless

As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
Partisan Bickering, A Bold Challenge, Crocodile Punter, Reynolds R.I.P. and more

Kino Korner


Jackass Number Two | The Guardian | Flyboys
All the King's Men | School for Scoundrels | Fearless

Jackass Number Two

Jackass Number TwoThe release of a second Jackass movie is like taking an incredible, impending and majestic dump that you’ve been waiting on for days. Depending on how uptight you are, it’s either pure joy or the equivalent of visiting the in-laws, but either way it’s unmatched relief. As a film critic, I love seeing and reviewing movies like this because I don’t have to think about bad acting, shaky plot or overused cinematic devices.

Here’s the scoop, plain and simple: If you get grossed out easily, or really at all, don’t fucking see this movie. There’s a lot of male nudity cascaded with homoerotic overtones and none of the guys are good-looking enough to pull it off. If the idea of seeing a guy dress his dick up like a mouse and feed it to a snake bothers you, skip this movie. Scenes with horses jizzing on people, people getting branded, beards made of pubic hair, shit eating, drinking beer through rectums, fart sniffing, vomit and a scene with a ton of midgets are everywhere so if you throw up easily save yourself the trauma.

If you didn’t see Jackass: The Movie, it was basically an hour and a half episode of the MTV show turned all the way up after a Jolt cola enema. Because after all, if you don’t have some censor telling you that you can’t fire a bottle rocket out of your ass you might as well do it. The ante has definitely been upped from the last movie, at least in the grossness department.

But Jackass Number Two’s mission isn’t only to disgust. The old man make-up, parental abuse and… body art gags, I guess, return. In addition, more of the gags seem inspired by Tex Avery cartoons.

But as much of a gang of buffoons as the Jackass crew are, they’re clever in their way. When you read the title Jackass Number Two, the word number kind of slides right by you. When you walk into the theater, just think long and hard about what the words number two mean. Expect to see plenty of it. And laugh.


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