The Abandoned | Wild Hogs | The Number 23 | Zodiac
Reno 911!: Miami | Amazing Grace | Black Snake Moan
Shooter | The Astronaut Farmer | Inland Empire

Amazing Grace

Okay--Black History Month! In case you’re not keeping score that means shitty weather flecked with obscure trivia about historic black figures you’ve never heard of unless you’ve taken a college course on the subject. It also means a movie about an important yet murky blip in the timeline of African-American history. Or just black history, depending on how much research some screenwriter felt like doing. Take your pick.

So this year we’ve got Amazing Grace, which is definitely about some upstart trying to get slavery abolished in 18th century England. I’m guessing it also has to do with the song “Amazing Grace.” I don’t know. The guy that played Reed Richards in Fantastic Four is trying to take on Parliament and a very round Albert Finney thinks it’s a good idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad there’s no slavery in England or anywhere else for that matter, unless you count Thailand and the entire former Soviet Union, and probably a ton of other places. And I’m also glad that my paycheck ends up in my checking account through direct deposit. But this doesn’t mean I necessarily want to know how it happened. Watching the trailer for Amazing Grace made me feel like I was living in a Sunday that went on for 3 years. And for reasons too numerous to count I truly hate Sundays. I can’t remember anything I’ve been less excited about in my entire life. There was a trip to the free clinic I was more excited about and that involved a shank up my urethra. The prospect of having to wake up at 8AM because the guy from the phone company might be coming by is more invigorating than this trailer.

register your indignation here