Beast Banner April 2007
ISSUE #115
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Features

ArrowPresident Rubber vs. Speaker Glue
Pelosiís scarf and GOP barf

Allan Uthman

ArrowIn Defense of Ann Coulter?
Conservatives have a right to be assholes, just like real people

Paul Fallon

ArrowWithdrawal Symptoms
Iraq timetable’s a political fix

Matt Taibbi

ArrowJesus Christ!
People will believe anything

Ian Murphy

ArrowWhat, Me Worry?
Iranians aren’t scared of a U.S. attack

Russ Wellen

ArrowLandslide of Failure
The battle for election integrity is led by... the Governor of Florida?

Brad Friedman

ArrowDeregulation Killed my Cat
Food contamination: the Bush legacy

Allan Uthman

ArrowThe Whining Minority
Republican congressman turns from bully to baby

Matt Taibbi

ArrowIt's tax time again and I want to maul you
A.Rabid Dog

ArrowContradictum
Self-refuting quotations from the world of politics

ArrowBonobos vs. Chimps
A Debate for Lemur Philosophers

A. Monkey

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Censored Chocolate Jesus

ArrowKino Korner: Movies
Are We Done Yet?, Grindhouse, Blades of Glory, Pride, Reign Over Me, The Lookout, The Reaping, Perfect Stranger, Vacancy, Fracture

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
A Very Thin Hope, Classy, Mile High Club, Equal Rights Harassment, Kiwi Fruit and more

 

Kino Korner

 


Are We Done Yet? | Grindhouse | Blades of Glory | Pride
Reign Over Me | The Lookout | The Reaping
Perfect Stranger | Vacancy | Fracture


Are We Done Yet?

I had an incident recently where I put my foot in my mouth. As is usual with faux pas, I could feel myself about to screw up, then gave in to that fuck it moment where I did it anyway. And even after the fact, I just kept going, because who really gives a shit at that point? Really.

When I took the obligatory fifteen seconds later in the day to contemplate my gaffe, I noticed something missing: the standard regretful cringe of belated embarrassment. It just didn’t come this time. And seeing Ice Cube in the trailer for Are We Done Yet gets my thanks for that. Let’s go back to the first installment of this Home Alone wannabe, Are We There Yet. Ice Cube played some sorry sumbitch trying to get laid by agreeing to babysit Nappy Dugout’s kids. They run his ass through the wringer, Kindergarten Cop style, and if you had an IQ below 50 you laughed your fool ass off.

Even if he does have kids that he’s supposedly making these movies for, Ice Cube is acting a damn fool. He crammed his foot down his throat with the first installment, and with Are We Done Yet Cube keeps remorselessly shoving it in, so deep his ass is buckling. This time it looks like a sorry carbon copy of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, or The Money Pit if you prefer. Either way, I’m almost certain repeated screenings of Are We Done Yet will be utilized as an interrogation tool at Guantanamo. And if Ice Cube doesn’t have to apologize, why the hell should I? 

 

 

 

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