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April 2007 ISSUE #115 |
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Are We Done Yet? | Grindhouse | Blades of Glory | Pride Fracture The trailer for Fracture is possibly one of the most ordinary trailers I’ve ever seen in my life. The more I think about it, it may even be less than ordinary, and if nothing else it’s not doing its job. Movie trailers are supposed to suck you in. They’re meant to be that shapely, smooth leg sticking out in the hallway saying come on in. But Fracture’s leg isn’t really doing that. It’s giving us a yet another bristly I’m not even trying anymore performance by Anthony Hopkins as a man who killed his cheating-ass wife and admits as much. Then there’s the bad tattoo on that leg in the form of Ryan Gosling as the hotshot attorney who’s got a job lined up at a prestigious law firm. Yes, it’s all doggy-style and pot brownies for Gosling once he wraps up this open and shut case because after all, Hopkins admitted to it. Not so quick. It just so happens that Hopkins is rehashing Hannibal Lecter through manipulation and bare-knuckle head games. Oh, and the arresting officer was the one balling Hopkins’ wife. Ooooooooooh! So Gosling made a bunch of dumpy girls swoon when he did The Notebook and he got nominated for an Oscar last year. He’s an up and comer—we’ve got it. Maybe I was just expecting a little more than a Silence of the Lambs rip-off minus the most interesting aspect: cannibalism. No, no. He ends up in a movie where the only possible emotional reaction you’ll get is anguish, because you won’t know whether to laugh at its seeming ridiculousness or cry because you just got screwed out of the better part of ten bucks. All I know is that I’ve had cases of constipation that were more moving.
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