Beast Banner April 2007
ISSUE #115
Issue 115 Cover Small
Last Issue Archives Blog Comix
Web BEAST Blog
 
Contact Download PDF RSS Subscribe Advertise Links Sign up and we'll let you know when a new issue is born.
Features

ArrowPresident Rubber vs. Speaker Glue
Pelosiís scarf and GOP barf

Allan Uthman

ArrowIn Defense of Ann Coulter?
Conservatives have a right to be assholes, just like real people

Paul Fallon

ArrowWithdrawal Symptoms
Iraq timetable’s a political fix

Matt Taibbi

ArrowJesus Christ!
People will believe anything

Ian Murphy

ArrowWhat, Me Worry?
Iranians aren’t scared of a U.S. attack

Russ Wellen

ArrowLandslide of Failure
The battle for election integrity is led by... the Governor of Florida?

Brad Friedman

ArrowDeregulation Killed my Cat
Food contamination: the Bush legacy

Allan Uthman

ArrowThe Whining Minority
Republican congressman turns from bully to baby

Matt Taibbi

ArrowIt's tax time again and I want to maul you
A.Rabid Dog

ArrowContradictum
Self-refuting quotations from the world of politics

ArrowBonobos vs. Chimps
A Debate for Lemur Philosophers

A. Monkey

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Censored Chocolate Jesus

ArrowKino Korner: Movies
Are We Done Yet?, Grindhouse, Blades of Glory, Pride, Reign Over Me, The Lookout, The Reaping, Perfect Stranger, Vacancy, Fracture

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
As divined by your ethereal guide

Arrow[sic] - Letters
A Very Thin Hope, Classy, Mile High Club, Equal Rights Harassment, Kiwi Fruit and more

 

Kino Korner

 


Are We Done Yet? | Grindhouse | Blades of Glory | Pride
Reign Over Me | The Lookout | The Reaping
Perfect Stranger | Vacancy | Fracture


Pride

It’s funny that a movie about the trials and tribulations of a black swimming team in 1970s Philly be called Pride, because I’m guessing pride is the very thing you’d have to abandon in order to actually sit through such a movie. The trailer suggests that, if Pride were a dog, it would be the type that takes a watery shit on the carpet while staring right into your eyes, as soon as you get it home from the pound.

All I know is that Bernie Mac looked like a chocolate Easter bunny dipped in molasses with the marzipan eyes. Man scared the shit out of me! Pride is about learning lessons and will probably be something gym teachers show their students on the last day of school. It might be okay, I don’t know. It could also be a monster story parents tell their kids to keep them from turning into assholes. Search me. All I know is that I saw Mac again at the end of the trailer crying motor oil. I closed my eyes instantly and screamed, “keep your eyes shut, Marion!” I don’t even know anyone named Marion.

 

 

 

Ads

Movielink Generic 125X125 button

Try Netflix for Free!

Banner #7button

Textbook125x125

Banner 10000035button

Banner button

button

button



send your ill-informed ravings to us here
Affiliate Sponsors
MotoSport, Inc.|Netflix DVD Rentals. NO LATE FEES; Free Shipping. Try for FREE! | music123.com | Direct2Drive
T-Shirts only $14.99 when you buy 3 or more at CCS.com | Shutterfly.com | LinkShare Referral Prg
Popular Favorites from the Archive



© Copyright 2002-2006, The Beast. All rights reserved.