Beast Banner August 2007
ISSUE #118
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Features

ArrowThe Avalanche Threat
No one is safe!
Allan Uthman

ArrowMr BEAST Goes to Washington
Power to the people, or something like it
Ian Murphy

ArrowGreat Moments in Fascist Punditry

ArrowSlippery When Wet
Al Gore, an inconvenient douche
Paul Fallon

ArrowAnts in a Jar
It's only the end of the world, so quit bitching

Joe Bageant

ArrowRah Rah Sis Boom AAAAAHH!
Text "dead cheerleaders" for relentless media coverage
Steve Gordon

ArrowDog Day
Wiener Binging at the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Contest
Andrew Blake

ArrowInterview with the Editor's Uncle

ArrowThe Second "Scoop"
Reflogging Palast and Perkins

A Monkey

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 3
Headless Pharmaceutical Mascot

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - Letters

 

 

July 20, 2007—Conservative radio host Melanie Morgan braves MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Mathews to reiterate her love of the Homeland, and her disdain for its enemies within:

“Chris Matthews, on this very program, about a year or so ago, asked me about what I thought of—should be the penalty for whoever leaked the valuable Swift database program to “The New York Times,” and I said I wasn‘t aware of what the—the treason charge would carry. And it turns out it carries the death penalty.”

So, I said, yes, I agree if he were—if Bill Keller of “The New York Times” were to be tried of treason, I would have no problem whatsoever with him facing the death penalty. “

Now that’s flexing your Braun!*

 

April 30, 2007—Glenn Beck uses his national radio program to forewarn American citizens of the grave peril that awaits them at the hands ecological monsters:

“And I read this one part on global warming about how they got -- what was the first thing they did to get people to exterminate the Jews. Now, I’m not saying that anybody’s going to -- you know Al Gore’s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization. The goal is global carbon tax. The goal is the United Nations running the world. That is the goal. Back in the 1930s, the goal was get rid of all of the Jews and have one global government.

"You got to have an enemy to fight. And when you have an enemy to fight, then you can unite the entire world behind you, and you seize power. That was Hitler’s plan. His enemy: the Jew. Al Gore’s enemy, the U.N.’s enemy: global warming.”

Stick it to ‘em, Glenn!*

 

*Say aloud in quick nasal cadence

 

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