ISSUE #123
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February
2008 ISSUE #123 |
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A sickening
report from New Hampshire MANCHESTER, NH—the corner of Elm and Bridge (A long way from Anbar province). Giuliani supporters are entrenched to the northwest; Hillary backers occupy the southwest and east corners. In the northeast, tribal factions for Romney, Huckabee and Ron Paul battle for frozen real estate. Each army’s soldiers hold signs like highly skilled professionals. Traffic is crawling. It’s a general quagmire—all options are ugly. [more...] |
 From
the Desk of Cardboard ReaganThis Reagan negotiates with terrorists! |
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 Dumb
as DixieSouth Carolina, stupidest state in the union Allan Uthman |
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 Surge
on over to Anbar Province!From Al Anbar's Tourism Board |
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 The
BEAST Abridged Guide to Black History29 days of off-color justice |
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 Monkeywrenching
the SystemRon Paul, the anti-war choice Stan Goff |
 I'm
Very TiredDeprived and depraved Rich Herschlag |
 The
Beast Page 5 War-triggering Prank |
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 [sic]
- Letters from our esteemed readers! |
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 Kino
Kwikees: Movie Trailer ReviewsMichael Gildea |
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Best of The BEAST |
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 The
BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007Now 30% more subjective! |
 The
BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres
If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person! |
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 Let
There Be RetardsIan Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham. |
 The
BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions
You won't believe your candidate! |
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 Battle
of the Network Stars:
Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy? |
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 The
BEAST Guide to Presidential Campaign Tiers
How does your favorite rank? |
 Those
Lazy Iraqis It's hard to pull up your socks when your legs have been
blown off |
 The
Britney Budget:
How will celebrity haircuts affect the GDP? |
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 Ye
Neocolonialists
Dems poised to pillage Iraq |
 Taking
One for the Tribe
The Times lies & we're having fun |
 The
Avalanche Threat
No one is safe! |
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 Chattin'
with Chomsky The esteemed prof explains why he hates America |
 Schlep
Boys
An allegory for teflon punditry |
 Ghosts
of Timothy Leary & Hunter S. Thompson |
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 Menace
in Seat 36F:
A true story of airport insecurity |
 God
Hates WomenReligion & feminism don't mix |
 The
BEAST Tax Guide & Civil Disobedience Primer: |
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