Beast Banner February 2008
ISSUE #123
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This issue

PRIMARY FEVER!

A sickening report from New Hampshire
(with video)
By Ian Murphy & Paul Jones

MANCHESTER, NH—the corner of Elm and Bridge (A long way from Anbar province). Giuliani supporters are entrenched to the northwest; Hillary backers occupy the southwest and east corners. In the northeast, tribal factions for Romney, Huckabee and Ron Paul battle for frozen real estate. Each army’s soldiers hold signs like highly skilled professionals. Traffic is crawling. It’s a general quagmire—all options are ugly. [more...]

From the Desk of Cardboard Reagan
This Reagan negotiates with terrorists!
Dumb as Dixie
South Carolina, stupidest state in the union
Allan Uthman
Surge on over to Anbar Province!
From Al Anbar's Tourism Board
The BEAST Abridged Guide to Black History
29 days of off-color justice
Monkeywrenching the System
Ron Paul, the anti-war choice
Stan Goff
I'm Very Tired
Deprived and depraved
Rich Herschlag
The Beast Page 5
War-triggering Prank
[sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!

BEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews
Michael Gildea
Best of The BEAST
The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007
Now 30% more subjective!
 
The BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person!
Let There Be Retards
Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.
The BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions You won't believe your candidate!
Battle of the Network Stars: Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy?
The BEAST Guide to Presidential Campaign Tiers How does your favorite rank? Those Lazy Iraqis It's hard to pull up your socks when your legs have been blown off The Britney Budget: How will celebrity haircuts affect the GDP?
Ye Neocolonialists Dems poised to pillage Iraq Taking One for the Tribe The Times lies & we're having fun The Avalanche Threat No one is safe!
Chattin' with Chomsky The esteemed prof explains why he hates America Schlep Boys An allegory for teflon punditry Ghosts of Timothy Leary & Hunter S. Thompson
Menace in Seat 36F: A true story of airport insecurity God Hates Women
Religion & feminism don't mix
The BEAST Tax Guide & Civil Disobedience Primer:

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