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ISSUE #124
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Features

ArrowImmune to Reality
Why is the GOP so worried about telecom immunity?
Allan Uthman

ArrowHardballin' with Chris Matthews
An infuriating encounter
Ian Murphy

ArrowHormone Whore Moans
Doping in baseball? No shit, Mitchell
Paul Jones

ArrowChildren's Campaign
Young voters are heartbreakers
Tina Dupuy

ArrowThe First 100 Days
Our graphic projections for the three possible next presidents

ArrowRecession Recipes that won't Break the Bank
The bank can't foreclose on these subprime delights!

ArrowDeath, Taxes & Celebrity
Leeching on Lohan & Ledger
Steve Gordon

ArrowHillary or Cobra Commander?
A serious comparison
Erich Shulte

Women's History Month content!

ArrowThe BEAST Abridged Guide to Herstory
You've come a long way, cuntbag

ArrowStrengthen your Relationship in 10 Psychotic Steps
Obsess your way to romantic success!

ArrowThe BEAST Guide to Bulimia
Famine is in!

ArrowSpecial Women's Advertising Section
Products for the modern woman

ArrowA Brief Message from the Girls of Africa
A modest request

Departments

ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Democracy Usurpers

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

ArrowBEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - We ridicule your letters

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Drillbit Taylor

I could make some completely inappropriate remark about Drillbit Taylor being the reason that Owen Wilson tried to off himself last fall, but I wanted to off myself after seeing the trailer. So I’ve tasted the guy’s pain and it’s not a place I’d like to revisit let alone joke about.

Just kidding.

So Drillbit Taylor is about a wackadoo bodyguard ex-military type who’s hired by some fat and/or geeky high school students to make some bullies stop picking on them. It looks like a more likable version of Bad Santa—not in the sense that you’ll like it more than Bad Santa, just that Wilson’s character is for some reason more likable than Billy Bob Thornton’s was. So Wilson teaches the kids how to protect themselves and while doing some undercover work at their school, Wilson meets a teacher/love interest. It’s all very nice. It really is.

Again, just kidding.

Next: 21

More Kino reviews:

10,000 B.C.
The Bank Job

Doomsday

Run, Fatboy, Run
Stop-Loss



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