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ISSUE #124
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ArrowImmune to Reality
Why is the GOP so worried about telecom immunity?
Allan Uthman

ArrowHardballin' with Chris Matthews
An infuriating encounter
Ian Murphy

ArrowHormone Whore Moans
Doping in baseball? No shit, Mitchell
Paul Jones

ArrowChildren's Campaign
Young voters are heartbreakers
Tina Dupuy

ArrowThe First 100 Days
Our graphic projections for the three possible next presidents

ArrowRecession Recipes that won't Break the Bank
The bank can't foreclose on these subprime delights!

ArrowDeath, Taxes & Celebrity
Leeching on Lohan & Ledger
Steve Gordon

ArrowHillary or Cobra Commander?
A serious comparison
Erich Shulte

Women's History Month content!

ArrowThe BEAST Abridged Guide to Herstory
You've come a long way, cuntbag

ArrowStrengthen your Relationship in 10 Psychotic Steps
Obsess your way to romantic success!

ArrowThe BEAST Guide to Bulimia
Famine is in!

ArrowSpecial Women's Advertising Section
Products for the modern woman

ArrowA Brief Message from the Girls of Africa
A modest request


ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Democracy Usurpers

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - We ridicule your letters




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Just when you thought the situation in Iraq couldn’t get any more messed up, MTV Films has to go interjecting their detached take on things, with a movie starring Ryan Phillippe as an army soldier who’s forced into a second tour of duty. And speaking of forced, Phillippe’s Texan drawl, and the clichéd use of a Slipknot, Disturbed, Korn or whoever song to go along with the stylized, Army commercialesque footage of the fighting in the Middle East, make this movie like Fahrenheit 9/11 remade into a music video. A boring one.

I know what they’re trying to do here. I know. Creating a Deer Hunter for this generation. Make a movie that captures all of the angst, anxiety, frustration, anger and general unpopularity of the Iraq war. Show the soldiers come back to The World unable to cope, despite warm welcomes and open arms. Stop-Loss looks like it revolves around a small group of friends. Phillippe’s character seems to be refusing to go back out of principle or something. Another is a Young Republican with a girl’s name (the actor at least) who’d gladly take a Louisville Slugger in the ass for this country and another one who looks like he’s going to snap and blow his brains out in that shitty hotel right off the 44.

Stop-Loss looks like the kind of movie that might actually be good, but in that annoying, “important” way. I’m not interested and I don’t care. It could be Varsity Blues for all I know. But again, I don’t care. I don’t like being guilted into seeing movies either, and that’s what I feel like is going on here. So screw you, Ryan Phillippe, and your lantern-chinned ex-wife and your socially conscious movies. Jerks.

More Kino reviews:

10,000 B.C.
The Bank Job


Drillbit Taylor


Run, Fatboy, Run

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