Beast Banner February 2008
ISSUE #124		 Issue 122 Cover Small
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This issue

FEM-TASTIC!

The BEAST celebrates Women's History Month with a treasure trove of empowering content for all women. Finally, a women's magazine with balls!

 A Brief Message from the Girls of Africa
A modest request
The BEAST Guide to Bulimia
Famine is in!
Special Women's Advertising Section
Products for the modern woman
The BEAST Abridged Guide to Herstory
You've come a long way, cuntbag		 Strengthen your Relationship in 10 Psychotic Steps
Obsess your way to romantic success!		 Recession Recipes that won't Break the Bank
The bank can't foreclose on these subprime delights!
Regular BEAST Content:
Immune to Reality
 Why is telecom immunity so important to Bush?
Allan Uthman
 Hard Ballin' with Chris Matthews
An infuriating encounter
Ian Murphy		 Hormone Whore Moans
Doping in baseball? No shit, Mtchell
Paul Jones
The First 100 Days
Our graphic projections for the three possible next presidents		 Children's Campaign
Young voters are heartbreakers
Tina Dupuy		 Death, Taxes & Celebrity
Leeching on Lohan & Ledger
Steve Gordon
Hillary or Cobra Commander?
A serious comparison
Erich Shulte
Departments:
 Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews
Michael Gildea
The Beast Page 5
Democracy Usurpers

BEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

 [sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!
Best of The BEAST
The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007
Now 30% more subjective! 		 The BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person!
Let There Be Retards
 Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.		 The BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions You won't believe your candidate!
Battle of the Network Stars: Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy?
The BEAST Guide to Presidential Campaign Tiers How does your favorite rank? Those Lazy Iraqis It's hard to pull up your socks when your legs have been blown off The Britney Budget: How will celebrity haircuts affect the GDP?
Ye Neocolonialists Dems poised to pillage Iraq Taking One for the Tribe The Times lies & we're having fun The Avalanche Threat No one is safe!
Chattin' with Chomsky The esteemed prof explains why he hates America Schlep Boys An allegory for teflon punditry Ghosts of Timothy Leary & Hunter S. Thompson
  Menace in Seat 36F: A true story of airport insecurity God Hates Women
Religion & feminism don't mix		 The BEAST Tax Guide & Civil Disobedience Primer:

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