Beast Banner April 2008
ISSUE #125
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Features

THE ICEWOMAN COMETH!

An Actual BEAST Report from Ohio
Ian Murphy & Paul Jones

Triumph of the White Man
"We win again!"
Stan Goff
Castle of the Darned
Embracing your inner orc
Michael J. Smith
Stop Blaming Ralph
The Nadir of Democratic Credibility
Allison Kilkenny
Last Tangle in Persia
This Time, it's demented
Allan Uthman
Thank Heaven for 7-11
Democracy rots from the inside out
Joe Bageant
Apathy Victorious in Iraq!
Millions of Americans Indifferent
Steve Gordon
The BEAST Campaign Cliché Top 20
Which lazy metaphors are hitting this month?
Faux-tures
From the desks of Alan Schwartz, CEO of Bear Sterns and James Dimon, Chief Executive of JP Morgan
BEAST '08 Presidential Campaign Issue Cards
Play them, or be accused of it anyway!
The Wright Stuff
The true story behind Obama's pastor problem
Allan Uthman
The BEAST Field Guide to Endangered Voters
Know your demographic strata!
Top 10 Signs the U.S. Economy is Collapsing
Leading indicators of your financial ruin
A Final Farewell
I'm in a more appropriate place
William F. Buckley Jr.
This Just In: You're a Jackass
A News Exclusive
Departments:
Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews
Michael Gildea
The Beast Page 5
Disturbing Senatorial Neck Bulge

BEAST-O-Scopes
Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!
Best of The BEAST
The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007
Now 30% more subjective!
 
The BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person!
Let There Be Retards
Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.
The BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions You won't believe your candidate!
Battle of the Network Stars: Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy?

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