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April 2008
ISSUE #125

Issue 122 Cover Small


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	Features
	THE ICEWOMAN COMETH! An Actual BEAST Report from Ohio Ian Murphy & Paul Jones		Triumph of the White Man "We win again!" Stan Goff
			Castle of the Darned Embracing your inner orc Michael J. Smith
	Stop Blaming Ralph The Nadir of Democratic Credibility Allison Kilkenny
		Last Tangle in Persia This Time, it's demented Allan Uthman
	Thank Heaven for 7-11 Democracy rots from the inside out Joe Bageant	Apathy Victorious in Iraq! Millions of Americans Indifferent Steve Gordon	The BEAST Campaign Cliché Top 20 Which lazy metaphors are hitting this month?
	Faux-tures
	From the desks of Alan Schwartz, CEO of Bear Sterns and James Dimon, Chief Executive of JP Morgan	BEAST '08 Presidential Campaign Issue Cards Play them, or be accused of it anyway!	The Wright Stuff The true story behind Obama's pastor problem Allan Uthman
	The BEAST Field Guide to Endangered Voters Know your demographic strata!	Top 10 Signs the U.S. Economy is Collapsing Leading indicators of your financial ruin	A Final Farewell I'm in a more appropriate place William F. Buckley Jr.
	This Just In: You're a Jackass A News Exclusive	Departments:	Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews Michael Gildea
	The Beast Page 5 Disturbing Senatorial Neck Bulge	BEAST-O-Scopes Your completely accurate horoscope	[sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!

	Best of The BEAST
	The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007 Now 30% more subjective!		The BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person!
	Let There Be Retards Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.		The BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions You won't believe your candidate!
			Battle of the Network Stars: Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy?


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