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THE BEAST PAGE 5 Cheney Sunglasses-Reflection Ambiguity

Name: Veronica Knuckle-Boobs

Turn-ons: Overactive imaginations, prurient interests, Rorschach tests, glaucoma, Freud, Surgeon’s Loops, Salvador Dali and Hieronymus Bosch

Turn-offs: Careful scrutiny, ultra violet light, civil liberties, aluminum rods and Blue Blockers

How I got to be the BEAST Page 5 Cheney Sunglasses-Reflection Ambiguity: Well, I was posted to the White House website months ago, to little fanfare. People don’t care much for Dick Cheney or fly fishing these days. But, suddenly and inexplicably, all web-surfing eyes were on focused on me last week, Veronica Knuckle-Boobs! People were saying all sorts of outrageous things, like that you can see my ribs and I need to eat more. Some people even thought I was dead, and Cheney was poised to violate my limp body—which he has, because I’m his right hand. He makes me do things—I don’t want to talk about it.

Future Aspirations: I’d like to grow a head.

How I’d like to be remembered: As the only Vice Presidential hand reflection that anyone ever masturbated to.