Beast Banner May 2008
ISSUE #126
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Features

BEAST Faces Existential Threat
A naked appeal for money

The Urge to Surge
Bhagwan Petraeus returns!
Stan Goff
BAIT & SWITCH
Democrats trade lies for votes--freely
Allan Uthman

Bring on the Boycott
Anything to avoid the Olympics
Michael J. Smith
SUCK MY JONG
Old cunt attacks Matt Taibbi
Allison Kilkenny
FUCK THE TROOPS
Someone had to say it
Ian Murphy
Dirty Rock
John Rockefeller is a jerk
Alexander Zaitchik
AIDS Wolf on Murder Night
Intriguing title, no?
Steve Gordon
Faux-tures

No, I am NOT Fucking Bitter
A rural PA voter speaks out

Words that Jerk
It's not what you say, it's what people fear
Frank Luntz
This BEAST in Science
This Issue's Election Science: The Clintonian Uncertainty Principle, The Truth/Outrage Obameter
The Virgin Suicides
A NEWSBEAST exclusive from Muslim Paradise
Obama Offers Clinton Nomination for Cigarette
Scott Borchert
Departments:
Kino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews
Michael Gildea
The Beast Page 5
Cheney Sunglasses Reflection Ambiguity

BEAST-O-Scopes
Completely accurate horoscopes

[sic] - Letters from our esteemed readers!
Best of The BEAST
The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People of 2007
Now 30% more subjective!
 
The BEAST Reprehensible Guide to Campus Massacres If it makes you laugh, you're a bad person!
Let There Be Retards
Ian Murphy's "Special Time" at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Sure to enrage anyone who is religious or just has sympathy for the mentally challenged. With video of our stealth "interview" with anti-science lunatic Ken Ham.
The BEAST Guide to Mind-boggling Presidential Illusions You won't believe your candidate!
Battle of the Network Stars: Presidential Elections: Bad for Democracy?

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