Beast Banner June 2008
ISSUE #127
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ArrowA Special Welcome from Hardcore Hillary Voters
The Sour Grapes of Wrath

ArrowExhuming McCarthy
Tailgunner Joe speaks
Allan Uthman

ArrowThe Nader Fader
The amazing disappearing candidate
Ian Murphy

ArrowChabad to the Bone
A very special Passover
Paul Jones

Howard Zinn plays along

Buffalo's own "Bags of Money" raps about his unique brand of self-help program.

"Senator Clinton" calls a few Superdelegates, with erratic results.

ArrowWorld News, American Views
Images from around the globe, with captions Americans care about.

ArrowThe Great Estrangement
Matt Taibbi's The Great Derangement
Book Review by Paul Jones

ArrowOedipus Dreck
Madonna's old, Hard Candy
Music Review by Eric Lingenfelter


ArrowThe Beast Page 5
Penis-Shrinking Endocrine Receptor Agonist

ArrowKino Kwikees: Movie Trailer Reviews

Your completely accurate horoscope

[sic] - We ridicule your letters

  The BEAST Page 5 Penis-Shrinking Endocrine Receptor Agonist

Name: Bisphenol A; my bitches at the EPA call me BPA, dawg.

Turn-ons: Urethra dysfunction, premature puberty, testicular cancer, mimicking estrogen

Turn-offs: Glass, Robert Kennedy Jr., negative publicity, Canada, big penises.

How I got to be The BEAST Page 5 Penis Shrinking Endocrine Receptor Agonist: Well, itís easy to make when youíre plastic, baby! But Iím not just any plastic. Iím in your water bottles, Iím, lining your cans, Iím all up in food containers and even baby bottles. Thatís how I leech yo. Iím found in 95% of your urine, dawg! Thatís right, Iím so large you be pissing me out! Even with my short half-life of 1-10 years, I be a significant pollutant due to my prevalence and low acute toxicity, bitches!

Future plans: Well, Canada banned my use in products for children, So I guess itíll be harder to feminize the hosers. Here in the U.S., though, average levels in people are above those that cause harm to animals in laboratory experiments, yet below the very tolerant human exposure limit recommended by my EPA crew. So Iíll be doing my thing, dawg!

How I'd like to be remembered: As the useful little chemical that turned Americans into obese girly-men with swollen prostates.

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