What we need is a financial bridge through the coming crisis. However, the fat cats in Washington are dragging their heels, just because we flew in separate Lear jets to our congressional bailout hearing. It’s time for the American people—you—to take matters into your own hands. With a new President to scorn and deride, and a groundswell of public resentment to exploit, America needs The BEAST now more than ever. Subscribe or donate now, and help avert the major comedic catastrophe that would inevitably follow a BEAST collapse. The first one to donate one billion dolars or more gets a free T-shirt!