ISSUE #133
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December
2008 ISSUE #133 |
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THE BEAST PAGE 5 MENACING ANACHRONISM
Turn-ons: Booty, hostages, parrots, giant oil tankers. Turn-offs: Indian gunships, Johnny Depp, people who say “arrrr” when they meet us. How I got to be The BEAST PAGE 5 MENACING ANACHRONISM: Well, it’s like this: Somalia has had 14 new governments since 1991. It’s pretty much anarchy. There are no jobs, no prospects. Basically, if you’re an ambitious young Somali, there’s no chance of becoming a rapper or a basketball star. Piracy is pretty much it. It’s kind of cool, too, you have to admit. Future Plans: We’ll be cruising the high seas, taking your stuff, and occasionally humping each other without thinking of it as gay. How I’d like to be remembered: As the most historically incongruous danger to make the news this century, until the 2013 dirigible wars. |
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Name:
Somali Pirate