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Georgia May Join Axis Of Stupidby
Allan Uthman
In
an incredibly moronic and depressingly regressive move last week,
Georgia’s school superintendent, the idiot Kathy Cox, proposed the
removal of the word “evolution” from the science curriculum for
her entire stupid state. The move would place Georgia among the
ranks as such other retarded states as Florida, Kansas, Illinois,
Oklahoma, Mississippi, Tenesee and Kentucky—the “Axis of
Stupid,” as it is known in the offices of The BEAST. In fact, the Axis
of Stupid has been shrinking, inexplicably, with normally dumb
states like Alabama, Kansas, Ohio, and West Virginia bringing
evolution back to their painfully inadequate educational systems,
after sending the spoilsport theory packing not so long ago. Will
Georgia help to lower the bar once again for the rest of our dumb
nation? We hope not, of course, but suspect that our hopes will be
dashed. Frankly, we were surprised to learn that other
intellect-challenged, progress-inhibiting states like Texas,
Louisiana, and Arkansas were not already full-fledged members of the
pinheaded cabal, each still containing references to evolution in
their curricula. The
silly thing about the change, which will be voted on in May, is its
truly pointless nature, in that the offensive word is simply
replaced by its very definition, “biological changes over time.”
Unless Cox is referring to puberty or menopause, what’s the diff?
This ridiculous semantic masturbation can only be a product of
denial, the denial of a concept so obviously true that it hurts the
ears of those who deny it. In a similar cave-in to pathetic
religious denial, Cox has also deleted statements about the age of
the earth, and human reproduction, or as brainwashed dunderheads
like her call it, “original sin.” Evolution-deniers
argue that Creationism, now under the guise of “The Theory of
Intelligent Design,” is a ‘competing theory.’ OK, let me get
this straight: if I say that the universe, including the earth and
all of us, was pooped out by some giant dog, say, a schnauzer, would
that be a ‘competing theory?’ No? Well, what if a whole bunch of
dipshits agreed with me? Think about it: the dog poop theory carries
as much scientific validity as creationism. Cox
knows this deep down, as all bible-thumping assheads do. It’s the
basic denial of fundamentally obvious truths that drives all
devoutly religious people insane eventually. It just isn’t healthy
to cultivate the habitual denial required to believe in a literal
interpretation of the bible. Take the case of
Tennessee, where the mentally defective Blount County Board of
Education voted 6-1 to reject three biology textbooks last year
because they didn’t include creationism. The only thing a biology
textbook should say about creationism is that it is Board member
Mike Treadway cited “overwhelming references to evolution” which
make him “uncomfortable.” Fellow imbecile Jean Simerly said,
“I do not believe that we evolved from anything other than human
beings.” Devolved is more like it. Conservative
Christians embrace a pathological level of denial, and develop an
ability to tune out unpleasant facts that contradict their beliefs.
Of course, it’s tough to keep up, and they’d rather just make
offensive truths go away, as Cox is attempting here. Imagine Bob
Dole proposing legislation to remove the phrase “Erectile
Dysfunction” from the language, because it rubs him the wrong way.
Perhaps Bush will push the removal of “deserter.” We
are not helping people when we ‘protect’ them from reality. The
reality here is that religious wing-nuts, no matter how many of them
there are, are just wrong, wronger than a barbed-wire jockstrap.
Evolution’s validity is as plain as the nose on your face,
whatever climate it may be adapted to. I would love to hear a
church-drone like Cox attempt to explain how she got her appendix,
or why God gave her wisdom teeth. The ironic thing about these
‘Intelligent Design’ idiots is that they are themselves the best
available evidence that we are evolved from ape-like creatures,
incapable of higher reasoning. Perhaps contemptible asses like Kathy
Cox are simply throwbacks to our tree-climbing ancestors, and are
therefore not to blame for their inability to perceive the totally
obvious (‘Monkey Trial,” indeed). Then again, maybe she’s just
a fucking stupid idiot. An interesting fact about the AP article, by Doug Gross, that most of the facts of this piece are taken from: it equates antievolutionism and republican party membership. Gross identifies Cox as a republican, and quotes “social conservative” Rep. Bobby Franklin, “a republican.” The only person in the article who is identified as a Christian is Jimmy Carter, who lays into Cox something fierce, clearly coming down in favor of logic. Everyone else’s opinion is indicated by party. Is this what it means now to be a republican? Obviously, it has nothing to do with fiscal conservation, since Bush is spending money like a drunken sailor. Apparently, the rejection of science and the endorsement of religious fundamentalism are what the elephant signifies these days. I guess it makes sense, with an ignorant born-again in the White House, who ignores science on a daily basis regarding environmental issues. Now I’m not a big fan of the conservative agenda in general, but I hope it bothers at least some of you on the right that your party has come to embody a horrific celebration of such ignorance. I hope so, but I doubt it.
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