1ST Annual Agoraphobics
Convention to be held at the Walden Galleria Mall on
Saturday, May 29. Seriously, what are you
Lg 1 bdrm liv / din rms, 2 faux Frplcs, yd, all $575 No dogs. Avail
July 1 883-0321
N BFLO 3 bdrm, 2 bath,
new carpet Fr & pckt drs, oak, frplc, appl, no Pets, $900+ 832-0089
EAST SIDE like new!
Crack house, 2 bdrm, 1 bath,
Wall to wall aluminum foil,
Blacked out windows.
$ 250+ 885-8865
Allentown 1&2 bdrm
Good locations, some hdwd, some new carpeting, appl, incl water
& trash, $400-$525. Ben 903-9462
bunker, Great for storing WMDS and
bio-agents, new sec sys & carpets
$1200 Doug 441-6278
Need to rent a property? Need to sell your furniture to buy dog
food for your baby? CALL THE BEAST
CHEAP RATES 856-4355
Ashland Ave 2 story
1 bdrm, lg liv rm, kit & bath, no smoking, no
cats, $525 incl elec. Call Jeremy
Bidwell Area, 2 bdrm,
nat wd, stained glass, w/w, DR, no pets / smoking $400s 838-1337
BUFF STATE area upper
2 bdrm, $550 + utilities & security 877-5671
BUFF STATE Area lower
3 bdrm 2 bath, mold infested, rat shit carpet,
claw foot tub, used syringes incl! Great deal Doug 441-6278
3 bdrm lwr, liv rm, din rm, new kit, lndry on same level, porch.
Great loc $850 incl elec 532-3484
Elmwood/North St large
bedroom, $450 with heat &appl 861-9652 Mike
very spacious # bdrm+rear sun rm. Lots of detail, refin woof flrs,
frplc, Fr drs, fresh paint. Porch, pkng, all appl incl, wsh/dry
6/1/04. $750 954-3595
N BFLO Efficiency cube.
New kit, Murphy bed. Perfect for a contortionist. Doug 441-6278
Beautiful updated 1&
2 bdrms. Util incl, near
colleges/hospitals.No smkng-pets $495 & $575 759-1058 ext. 224
2 bdrmVictorian, dec-
orative fireplaces, high ceilings, spacious & sunny, next to
Park $750 includes heat, no pets, no smokers. 883-5735
seeks same. $85/week incl
uncomfortable stare & cable.
Jewish male seeks
palestinian to occupy areas of apartment, roughly based on a South
AWARD winning greeting card publisher needs creative,hard-working
individuals for production of our hand silk-screened cards. Full
time positions, M-Th 8am-6:30pm. $7.50/hr to start. Fax resume or
call 836-0408 for information.
CHAIR RENTAL & nail
technician Red Door West hair salon & spa
ham masseuse, must be
experienced with smoked &
cured pork. Good salary+ benefits Call Doug 441-6278
Lubricant Tester needed
for local fast-growing firm. Must be willing to work with animals
& the homeless.
Great career opportunity! Call Doug 441-6278
PERORMERS needed for
entertainment company. VJs, DJs, Vocalists, Dancers, Costume Characters.
Great pay and training provided. Weekend work TEC
POODLE VALET Wanted
for antisemitic poodle. Job
includes spoon feeding, grooming, walking, and reading Mein Kampf.
SUMMER Help- Gardens,
Basket, Street Maintenance. Apply Forever Elmwood, 410 Elmwood,
for event video. Resume & tape to TEC 877-4844
Wal-Mart now accepting
for greeters. No exp nec. Horrible pay/ no benefits, must have own
liver spots. Apply now at any Wal-Mart!
WANTED Horsemen to bring
Apocalypse. Only 4 positions
available. Competitive salary, full medical / dental, 401k. Must
have own horse. Training provided
In good condition.
make me an offer.
Hip Hop, Rock, Oldies... good condition.
Call to make appointment.
Josh Brown 465-8566
-dead pet removal service. We will drive your departed pet's corpse
to heaven or the dump, which ever is closer to your house. 441-6278
Specializing in Afro-Caribbean rhythms. Congas, bongos, timbales,
hand drums & minor
Wendell Rivera 998-1162
shoot all your needs. Portraits,storefronts, interiors, etc. Honest
RECORDS & cassettes
converted to CD, I will do it for you. Affordable
& quick 884-0885
BBTVSDNS seeks same for
friendship and possible milkshake.
ALL ABOUT YOU
Independent. Blonde, Blue eyes and tan. In/out 444-9189
ARIANNA Beautiful with
class. Available 24/7. Your place or mine 826-BABE (2223)
MANY new models to choose From. Men and women age 18-50. Escorts,
dancers, oil rubs and specializing in fetishes.
Open 24/ 7 822-1156
Classy older women available around the clock
Available for BDSM, roleplay & parking tickets Call City Hall
ESCORTS.You place or ours. Lg selection of Ladies.
Men & women available
stag & stagettes.
We never close. 823-8375
SEXY Suzy. In or Out,
33 yrs old. Hot, Hot, Hot ! 444-3157
You need the soothing touch of a Yeti. Strong hairy hands. Ask for
WOMAN over 30. Where
sophistication & and class, not trash matter!
In or out 444-3157
YOUR PLACE OR MINE
Creepy old man available for
sexual healing. Doug 441-6278
ELITE ORAL SERVICES
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
Sophisticated professionals pay attention to detail after you've
had a long day. Take a load off sweetie. Call Crystal. 486-0991
LOST: sense of faith
in local gov't. Somewhere btwn Buffalo Place and the new Federal
Courthouse. If found, please kill immediately. Reward. Call Doug
LOST: diamond wedding
ring, at the orgy on Johnson St. last Friday. Must find, please
hurry! Reward depends on finder's sexual proclivities. Call Amber
at 441-6278, hang up if Doug answers.
FOUND: pair of soiled
panties, by pedestrian bridge at Delaware Park; seeking owner. I
know it sounds unusual, but maybe it's fate. I think my wife is
cheating. Call Doug at 441-6278
LOST: dimebag of ghetto
schwag, near corner of North & Allen. If found, please enjoy,
or pass along to someone who will.