Buffalo's Best Fiend

“Art. What is it? I fink it has somfing to do wif da gays,” so boldly stated Ali G. True? I am not sure. If not though, what is art? Tolstoy once posed this question. His answer? A book. But he had no cinema. I mean, hell, it would have been a much longer book had he. Nonetheless, does the cinema of today fall into the category of art? Is it only good for escapism, as my colleague stated in his capsule review of Fog of War? Is it here, as art, to remind you that you are better than other people similar to the way we feel someone looking down at us, the movie going public, from behind his nose? Has art a true voice? These are all very good questions, and with the help of a brilliant director, I will attempt to answer them.

German-born Roland Emmerich—does it ring a bell? If not, it should. He is the personification of an artist using celluloid as his canvas. In light of his newest film The Day After Tomorrow—which I must say looks invigoratingly CGI’d—I thought that he would be the perfect person to add to this issue of The BEST, as we here at The BEST love Hollywood and the cinema it has been producing these past few years—especially these past few months. He and his film will be holding the top spot this coming Monday, after it opens this Friday. Have I seen it? No. I just know these things. People can’t pass up a gem from the mind that wrote and directed Independence Day. Or, as I like to call it, ID4. The trailer is the most exciting I’ve seen in years! Blizzards…fires…tornados...TIDAL WAVES!

His previous film starred Christ. I mean God, the guy who directed Christ. It was a little film with a meager box office draw called The Patriot. Heard of it? Yeah that’s right. Who else has he directed? Will Smith. Pow. Who else? Have you seen a little gem called Universal Soldier? That’s right. Dolph and Jean-Claude, action stars supreme. Add Michael Pare to the list from Emmerich’s 1990 film—you may have caught this one on Cinemax one night after two in the AM—Moon 44.

I recently sat down with Mr. Emmerich and asked him a few questions:

Me: Why do you think that you are so unknown as a director?

Him (he’s from Germany—so try to read in his accent): The public isn’t interested in that—or me. They just want action. And who better to give them this than I? Would you like some action?

Me: What? I just want to know why you are so unknown.

Him: Well, it isn’t as if people—or even I—subscribe to—or even believe in—the Auteur Theory or anything. Film isn’t to make one think, and if you know who I am, then you’re thinking too hard and my films aren’t for you.

Me: Neat. Do you consider yourself an artist?

Him: I just said no.

Me: Nuh-uh.

Him: In so many words.

Me: I didn’t hear you.

Him: Are you taping this?

Me: Yes.

Him: Rewind then.

Me: Can you just refresh me? Please…

Him: I suppose. I guess it’s that…that film is for escapism, not art; you shouldn’t be forced to think at the cinema. Why should you?

Me: Hey, I’m asking the questions.

Him: Carry on my young friend.

Me: Thanks. What so interests you about the end of the world and men trying to save it?

Him: I think that mankind is amazing, and men themselves make me hot.

Me: Interesting. What was it like working with God?

Him: God?

Me: You know, Mel.

Him: Fantastic. He is terrific and sexy. Almost as talented as Michael Pare.

Me: I hear that.

Him: I hope so.

Me: What’s next for Roland Emmerich?

Him: Well, I’ve had a film written by some young men for me to direct on the pharaoh Tutankhamen. I may make some changes though, as it is just a biopic film at this stage in its development.

Me: What changes?

Him: Well, I’m thinking that Tut could come back from his grave and try to recapture his former empire—which, of course, no longer exists—so he decides that the free world (America) is the best place to lay his piping. Think Mummy meets ID4.

Sound cool? I know. Check out the website, in any of 15 languages (that’s how brilliant this guy is), for The Day After Tomorrow, and tune into the next BEST for my review. I CAN”T WAIT!

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