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THE BEST PAGE 3  

EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE BIWEEKLY

Name: The BEAST

Turn-ons: Terrorizing Upstanding Citizens, tasteless humor, childish pranks, debauchery

Turn-offs: Laws, goodness and all that is ssacred.

How I became THE BEAST PAGE 3 EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE BIWEEKLY: My time was up; what can I say? Th egood people of Buffalo just got fed up enough to do something about me. Eventually, any store with even one remotely conservative employee banned me from their racks. Some would allow me in, and then throw me out five minutes later. Truthfully I didn't want to take a hint, and now I am eradicated from existence. As soon as my publisher and his staff realized they could make more money by printing more friendly and gratuitous articles, I was out the door, in favor of a new rebirth as The BEST.

Future Plans: To be recycled and become a small part of billions of more socially acceptable newspapers, perhaps seducing some unsuspecting editor of a small-town paper to run a mildly racy piece.

How I would like to be remembered: As a lesson to young journalists that it just doesn't pay to go against the grain. Why push the first amendment when there's money to be made?






 


Letters to the Evil Editors should be addressed to:
sic@buffalobeast.com

2004 The Beast