|
Features: BEAST is Dead, Long live The BEST! Top 10 Reasons to Vote Republican Why The Environment Doesn't Matter- Al Uthman Banal Retentive - Matt Taibbi The Beer Mystic Manifesto - Paul Salamone Matt Taibbi Comes Clean on Abu Ghraib A Gallivan's Life - Seamus Gallivan ArtVoice Review -Tone At Sports Blotter - Matt Taibbi Movies: Music: BEAST BASH A Baffling Success!! Cartoons: Deep Fried - Jason Yungbluth Bob the Angry Flower - Stephen Notely Unbalanced Load - Darren Longo
|
THE BEST PAGE 3 EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE BIWEEKLY
Name: The BEAST Turn-ons: Terrorizing Upstanding Citizens, tasteless humor, childish pranks, debauchery Turn-offs: Laws, goodness and all that is ssacred. How I became THE BEAST PAGE 3 EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE BIWEEKLY: My time was up; what can I say? Th egood people of Buffalo just got fed up enough to do something about me. Eventually, any store with even one remotely conservative employee banned me from their racks. Some would allow me in, and then throw me out five minutes later. Truthfully I didn't want to take a hint, and now I am eradicated from existence. As soon as my publisher and his staff realized they could make more money by printing more friendly and gratuitous articles, I was out the door, in favor of a new rebirth as The BEST. Future Plans: To be recycled and become a small part of billions of more socially acceptable newspapers, perhaps seducing some unsuspecting editor of a small-town paper to run a mildly racy piece. How I would like to be remembered: As a lesson to young journalists that it just doesn't pay to go against the grain. Why push the first amendment when there's money to be made? |
Letters to the Evil Editors should be
addressed to:
sic@buffalobeast.com
© 2004 The Beast