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BEAST-O-SCOPES
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Scorpio (October 23 - November 22)
Sagittarius (November 23 - December 21)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Aquarius (January 21 - February 19)
Pisces (February 20 - March 20)
Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Taurus (April 21 - May 20)
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Gemini my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say
to you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire
world. The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I
see wealth, power, fame and more ass than a donkey auction. You
will have all that you dream of and more because you deserve it
more than any other person in recorded history. However, your future
can unwind if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits
for you in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for
inside lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Gemini and
you will be forever blessed.
Cancer my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say
to you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire
world. The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I
see wealth, power, fame and a giant bag of grass. You will have
all that you dream of and more because you deserve it more than
any other person in recorded history. However, your future can unwind
if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you
in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for inside
lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Cancer and you
will be forever blessed.
Leo
my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you other than
you are the most beautiful person in the entire world. The future
has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth, power,
fame and a sixty-seven pound Toll House cookie. You will have all
that you dream of and more because you deserve it more than any
other person in recorded history. However, your future can unwind
if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you
in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for inside
lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Leo and you will
be forever blessed.
Virgo my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to
you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth,
power, fame and unlimited free access to all porn websites. You
will have all that you dream of and more because you deserve it
more than any other person in recorded history. However, your future
can unwind if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits
for you in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for
inside lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Virgo and
you will be forever blessed.
Libra my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to
you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth,
power, fame and a sixty-one inch television. You will have all that
you dream of and more because you deserve it more than any other
person in recorded history. However, your future can unwind if you
do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you in the
Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for inside lies your
ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Libra and you will be forever
blessed.
Scorpio my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you
other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth,
power, fame and your own helicopter. You will have all that you
dream of and more because you deserve it more than any other person
in recorded history. However, your future can unwind if you do not
heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you in the Beast-O-Scopes
of others. Avoid reading them, for inside lies your ruin. Follow
this one piece of advice, Scorpio and you will be forever blessed.
Sagittarius my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to
you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth,
power, fame and a countless supply of Mentos (the freshmaker). You
will have all that you dream of and more because you deserve it
more than any other person in recorded history. However, your future
can unwind if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits
for you in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for
inside lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Sagittarius
and you will be forever blessed.
Capricorn my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you
other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth,
power, fame and dinner with William Shatner. You will have all that
you dream of and more because you deserve it more than any other
person in recorded history. However, your future can unwind if you
do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you in the
Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for inside lies your
ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Capricorn and you will be
forever blessed.
Aquarius
my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you other than
you are the most beautiful person in the entire world. The future
has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth, power,
fame and a new look for your yard by professional landscaper Pauly
Shore. You will have all that you dream of and more because you
deserve it more than any other person in recorded history. However,
your future can unwind if you do not heed the following warning;
Bad luck waits for you in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading
them, for inside lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice,
Aquarius and you will be forever blessed.
Pisces
my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you other than
you are the most beautiful person in the entire world. The future
has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth, power,
fame and a delicious crab dinner. You will have all that you dream
of and more because you deserve it more than any other person in
recorded history. However, your future can unwind if you do not
heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you in the Beast-O-Scopes
of others. Avoid reading them, for inside lies your ruin. Follow
this one piece of advice, Pisces and you will be forever blessed.
Aries
my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say to you other than
you are the most beautiful person in the entire world. The future
has many wonderful things in store for you. I see wealth, power,
fame and an entirely new wardrobe. You will have all that you dream
of and more because you deserve it more than any other person in
recorded history. However, your future can unwind if you do not
heed the following warning; Bad luck waits for you in the Beast-O-Scopes
of others. Avoid reading them, for inside lies your ruin. Follow
this one piece of advice, Aries and you will be forever blessed.
Taurus my dear and sweet friend, what else can I say
to you other than you are the most beautiful person in the entire
world. The future has many wonderful things in store for you. I
see wealth, power, fame and endless buckets of chicken wings. You
will have all that you dream of and more because you deserve it
more than any other person in recorded history. However, your future
can unwind if you do not heed the following warning; Bad luck waits
for you in the Beast-O-Scopes of others. Avoid reading them, for
inside lies your ruin. Follow this one piece of advice, Taurus and
you will be forever blessed.Letters to the Evil Editors should be
addressed to:
sic@buffaloBEST.com
© 2004 The BEST