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DJ's NOTES FROM THE BIG HOUSE

Jaw-Dropping Arrogance

Some of you guys may recall back in 1999 when a certain dentist of East Indian origin named Dr. Tejir Oberoi was arrested for fraud, allegedly charging up to two thousand dollars for root canal work performed on healthy patients who were only there for a teeth cleaning, and charging for crowns and other assorted cosmetic work while never actually performing the agreed upon services, or even having met the “patients.”

Well, the orally fixated sultan of sadistic surgery has now joined us bottom-dwellers here at “Club Delaware,” formerly known as the “Gallivan Center for the socially rejected” and now commonly known as the dreaded Erie County Holding Center.

Anyway, I see this blabbering quack three to five times a week in the law library, now that he blew such large numbers into his probation officer's handheld breathalyzer that he was consequently removed from circulation on the pre-trial release program.

This maniac has gone through "two million" bucks and "five" lawyers before accusing the prosecutors and his own lawyers of a "plot" against him. This "plot" is designed to thwart his moving forward with a patent for his self-invented procedure for totally removing a patient’s mandible (jawbone for you grade school dropouts), placing it on his "work-bench," making any needed repairs and/or cosmetic improvements, and then returning it intact to it's former position in your mouth. Whoa!

Hey, I don't know about you guys out there in readerland, and I am no doctor, but aren't there quite a few things keeping that good old jawbone connected?

Out of your mouth, fixed, and back, all in the aftermath of what? A few units of Novocain and a two-hour office visit? And then right on to munching peanut brittle?

The demented dentist claims that the "government" and all the "other dentists in America" want this procedure to remain "unknown," or otherwise it may "revolutionize dentistry.”

Yeah right! "Hey doc, could ya take out my mandible and do it over there on your workbench? My gag reflex is such that your beard hanging in my mouth will make me puke."

The demented dentist of doom claims to be "Harvard-educated,” but reading between the lines (as I sometimes do) I discovered that this translates into him actually meaning that some dude named "Harvey" ran the Indian dental school that licensed this madman after practicing on goats and passing the minimum of fifty questions on a 100 question multiple-choice test.

Now here's the real cavity in this sordid saga of oral nightmares. Since the devilish dentist now defends himself pro se with his whacked out motions and bizarre demands of the judge, who he claims drank all his single-malt scotch one day at his home, he now receives endless free copies and endless free postage to the tune of 300 dollars a month! That's right, three hundred bucks a month!

Well, I am hardly a Ted Kaczynski when it comes to college-level math, but at 10¢ a copy this guy is running close to 2,500 copies a month and has at least 20,000 sheets of taxpayer-funded paper in his deluxe suite (about two small trees’ worth).

Oh, and not to mention that each time the dentist of doom demands access to the law library he verbally assaults his female keeper with every insult known to East Indian wife-beaters and some that are only known and kept secret by demented dentists. Normally such behavior would

be met with the appropriate beating and five consecutive meals of our wonderful goulash, but for reasons known only to the keepers and the Feds he is accorded a "waiver" of some description, whatever that means.

The worst part of this bizarre tale is that the lowly taxpayer must finance this nutcase and his "defense" no matter what it seems that he decides should be part of it.

And I can't get 10 minutes alone with a prostitute who’s already here! Wait, if I fired my lawyer....

What next? Late night "escorts" to relieve his stress? A fifth of single-malt to grease the judge?

The problem that I have with all of this is the fact that this madman has a 600 hundred thousand dollar home in the ‘burbs, two BMWs and two daughters in Ivy League schools.

Free copies! Free postage! This guy ripped off the insurance companies, Medicaid, and hundreds if not thousands of his former patients, and him wanting free anything makes me sicker than Sunday’s goulash.

The moral of this sordid story: Never trust a dentist with rotten and crooked teeth, and a beard long enough to be braided into an escape rope from the third floor of this dump.



 

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