SURVIVOR: A BEAST CONTEST
BEAST READERS! The BEAST needs you to be the next Mayor of our dear
city. That's right! We want you, a lowly loyal BEAST reader, to be
the next Mayor of the city of Buffalo. WE ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS! We
are launching a search for 16 contestants willing to run for the position
of Mayor in 2005...
I'm not talking about Dan Rather's now-famous fiasco involving forged
documents. I'm talking about the ridiculous storm of overreaction
Go Against The Family Matt
Kelley's "explosive" nearly 700-page tome on the Bushes,
The Family, has been barely out on the streets for a day, but the
early news reactions have already made it plain: The sprawling biography
simply doesn't matter. The predominant media take on this book is
likely to go something like this: In Bush tome, unreliable menopausal
scandalmonger again misses mark; world waits out irritating media
the polls open in a little over a month, voters are going to have
a lot on their minds. Campaigns are kicking into high gear for the
final stretch, and we're sure to see some fireworks before November.
Already we've been treated to one hell of a circus, nationwide and
back home. Certainly, we'll have plenty more to look forward to for
this season and the year to come, before Tony goes up for reelection.
Lesson in Family Values William
Meet Phil Parlock. Parlock is
a family man and a staunch Republican. Parlock has a very sad story
to tell about how rotten Kerry supporters are. You see, they made
his little girl cry.
FDA Ruling? Matt
following is a transcript of an address given to the American Pediatric
Society at the conclusion of its annual convention in Boca Raton,
Florida, last week. The keynote speaker, noted pediatric pharmacologist
Dr. Matthew C. Taibbi, addresses recent revelations about the effects
of antidepressants on minor children..
Six people were busted recently for smuggling $14 million dollars
worth of ephedrine from Europe into the country, including Sandra
Jacobi, co-owner of the Italian restaurant bearing her surname
(what's with these crazy Mediterranean restaurant moguls?). .