Mayoral Survivor Contest: The BEAST Wants You to Run for Mayor!

Rather Ridiculous : Media Forfeits Balls - Al Uthman

What FDA Ruling? Keeping Kids on Drugs - Matt Taibbi

Shitty Hall: Shady Start to Mayoral Race - Eric Gauchat

A Lesson in Family Values: Scamming the Media, Parlock Style -William Rivers Pitt

Wake Up and Smell the Jungle Rot - Stan Goff

Pano's Controvery Rages on?

Kitty Kelley's The Family: - Book Review by Matt Taibbi


Buffalo in Briefs


Notes from the Big House: The Peda-files

Ask Dr. Rotten: Interview with Sacred Seeds' Main Man

True Horrors of Local Bureacracy: Wrath of the Rath- Jonathon Chance

Page 3

Separated at Birth?


Kino Korner


alexisonfire, Moneen at the Showplace


Ketchup Samurai Hip Hop Reviews




Deep Fried - Jason Yungbluth

Bob The Angry Flower - Stephen Notley

Contact Us


Archives--Old BEASTs





2004 The Beast



Name: Dan or Kevin or Steve or something to that effect

Turn-ons: Mid-grade OCD, Out-of-print box sets, live Pavement bootlegs, outbidding people at the last possible second on Ebay, trading Pere Ubu records with unkempt trolls at record shows, my parents' basement, obscure '60s garage rock, Mohawk Place, successfully convincing people that I'm familiar with music I've only seen referenced in Spin magazine, alt-country, my job at the record store and the free remastered promos of Clash re-issues it affords me, my mint condition copy of Sticky Fingers on vinyl (with the zipper!)

Turn-offs: CDs, Major-label bands, Clear Channel, spending money on things other than music, people who know about bands I don't, high-maintenance girlfriends, doing something substantial with my life, "posers"

How I Became THE BEAST PAGE 3 PRETENTIOUS MUSIC GEEK: Between repeated viewings of High Fidelity on basic cable and the slovenly look making its comeback, I felt it was time to retire from my social coma. Even Brian Wilson had to leave his room sometime! (I even pulled a Dennis Wilson and had a threesome with my guitarist's ample-bosomed girlfriend and my ex.) I can also play the bass solo from "My Generation" note for note, and have listened to more than five minutes of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.

Future Aspirations: To expunge myself of my control-freak ways and start that Gram Parsons tribute band. I also want to find the coat and scarf that Dylan wore on the cover of Blonde on Blonde. Only then will I be able to make my pilgrimage to Woodstock and visit the house where he recorded The Basement Tapes with The Band.

How I'd Like to be Remembered: As the guy whose immaculately alphabetized record collection weighs more than the Screaming Trees-and that's just the "Q" section-and the only person in the world who can actually sit through an entire Big Star album. I'd also like to be remembered as the second coming of John Squire. Never mind; you've probably never even heard of him.


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ATTENTION BEAST READERS! The BEAST needs you to be the next Mayor of our dear city. That's right! We want you, a lowly loyal BEAST reader, to be the next Mayor of the city of Buffalo. WE ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS! We are launching a search for 16 contestants willing to run for the position of Mayor in 2005...

Rather Ridiculous Al Uthman

Outrageous. Dishonest. Detestable.

No, I'm not talking about Dan Rather's now-famous fiasco involving forged documents. I'm talking about the ridiculous storm of overreaction to it...

Never Go Against The Family Matt Taibbi

Kitty Kelley's "explosive" nearly 700-page tome on the Bushes, The Family, has been barely out on the streets for a day, but the early news reactions have already made it plain: The sprawling biography simply doesn't matter. The predominant media take on this book is likely to go something like this: In Bush tome, unreliable menopausal scandalmonger again misses mark; world waits out irritating media buzz.

Shitty Hall Eric Gauchat

When the polls open in a little over a month, voters are going to have a lot on their minds. Campaigns are kicking into high gear for the final stretch, and we're sure to see some fireworks before November. Already we've been treated to one hell of a circus, nationwide and back home. Certainly, we'll have plenty more to look forward to for this season and the year to come, before Tony goes up for reelection.


A Lesson in Family Values William Rivers Pitt

Meet Phil Parlock. Parlock is a family man and a staunch Republican. Parlock has a very sad story to tell about how rotten Kerry supporters are. You see, they made his little girl cry.



What FDA Ruling? Matt Taibbi

The following is a transcript of an address given to the American Pediatric Society at the conclusion of its annual convention in Boca Raton, Florida, last week. The keynote speaker, noted pediatric pharmacologist Dr. Matthew C. Taibbi, addresses recent revelations about the effects of antidepressants on minor children..

Buffalo in Briefs

Spicy Meatball - Six people were busted recently for smuggling $14 million dollars worth of ephedrine from Europe into the country, including Sandra Jacobi, co-owner of the Italian restaurant bearing her surname (what's with these crazy Mediterranean restaurant moguls?). .


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