"Totally coup, yo."

6 People/Groups Obama Didn’t Call




As you’re no doubt aware, President Obama (known throughout my studio apartment as the Drone King for his excellent ability to kill people overseas while still maintaining massive support among liberals who use to hate that sort of thing when a Republican did it) picked up the phone to chat with a woman by the name of Sandra Fluke.

Ms. Fluke, a Georgetown University law student, was called a “slut” and “prostitute” by fat fuck-face Rush “Why Has He Not Joined Andrew Breibart Yet?” Limbaugh. Mr. Limbaugh, a right-wing blowhard radio host, who has since offered an “apology,” took to bashing Ms. Fluke because she went on the TeeVee and defended employer-provided insurance that covers birth control.

Yes, readers of the future, birth control is what people fought over in America in the beginning of the 21st Century. If you feel like looking down on we, your ancestors, you have every right. Have at it. We have earned your righteous contempt many times over.

“I just read something that called me the Drone King.

Meanwhile, for those of us still here in the present I thought I’d whip up a nice little list of people and or groups that President Barack Obama DIDN’T call.

Obama didn’t call…

… the people of New Orleans to apologize for the Army Corps of Engineers drowning them.

… workers in Wisconsin to support their battle for collective bargaining.

… his supporters to explain his craven drug policy concerning pot.

… Iran so he could “talk to our enemies.”

… on cops to stop cracking down on Occupy protesters.

… environmentalist to let them know they could go fuck themselves.

Maybe he’ll phone when Limbaugh calls them sluts. Probably not.

Follow Joe Dixon on Twitter, or check out his Youtube channel if you want to see him get drunk and read the bible.

  • LC

    Yes!!! He should have called all those groups–especially in WI. Ian, when are you coming back to WI? There is a big rally this Saturday.

  • Diablo

    I really can’t wait for this fucking election to get over with just so my asshole friends will stop telling me that I have to vote for Obama as because whoever wins the 3 ring circus for the GOP represents such a massive danger to our country. If this is what we get by voting for the least worst candidate, fuck it, I want to try the worse. Its not like the institutionalize inertia of the government is going to magically go away with some crackpot in the White House. What is Michelle Bachman doing? Shit…if American is going down the shitter, lets at least pick someone hilarious to do it. And maybe, if the descent speeds up with a fucking insane person in the White House, enough Americans will wake the fuck up.

  • Joey Redundo

    I have compiled a list of people that I don’t particularly like. If I donate a million dollars to the Drone King , will he “take them out” ? Long live the Drone King !

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