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Mayoral Survivor Contest: The BEAST Wants You to Run for Mayor!

Truth is Overrated: Why Does My TV Think Bush Won the Debate? - Al Uthman

Political Snickering: M&M/Mars' Campaign of Terror - Matt Taibbi

Big Brother Knows Best: Blockbuster Rents Bogus Fahrenheit 9/11 DVDs - Paco Alameda

Scary Little Man: Bush's Belligerence -William Rivers Pitt

Kneeling Before George: President Bush is a Serious Stud - Merry Dunce, the Beast's "Fresh Voice"

American Indian Museum Opens in DC, Promptly Stolen by American History Museum -Jake Novak

Reading the Blitz: Election Hacks Score Touchdown in Overtime Frenzy - Matt Taibbi

Freedumb: Zell Miller Echoes Militaristic Fallacy - Mark Golden


Buffalo in Briefs


Notes from the Big House

The Straight Dope w/ Dr Rotten

Brush with Greatness: I met Gretzky - Seamus Gallivan

Page 3

Separated at Birth?

[sic] - Letters



Kino Korner


Album Reviews: Tom Waits, De La Soul


Misfits Roadie's Haunted House -Ken Barnes



High Quality Losers: Numbers Game Pays little for Bills -Ronnie Roscoe


Deep Fried - Jason Yungbluth

Bob The Angry Flower - Stephen Notley

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Archives--Old BEASTs






2004 The Beast

The case of Thomas M. Roland seems to perfectly illustrate the flaws in our criminal justice system.

I just happened to be physically present in the same court "hold" room right before and then just after this creep was sentenced to 18 years flat for murdering a female acquaintance over a rock of crack cocaine, stabbing her to death with a knife because she "cheated" him out of a puff or two from a crack pipe!

He laughed, joked, socialized, and conversed in high spirits with the others who were also awaiting court appearances in the same holding room, at one point saying "shit, I'll be home in twelve years and change," and "when I see the deputies that fucked with me, I'm knocking them straight the fuck out! Bunch of punk-assed faggots."

Then he bent over and furiously polished his shoes'with a wad of toliet paper admiring the shine afterwards and commenting, "I don't want them cameras in my

The Buffalo Snooze wrote in their blurb about this guy that the judge in this case cited "learning and mental problems" as his reasoning for allowing this cretin to plead to a reduced charge of Manslaughter First Degree and the subsequent 18-year
sentence. With the time he has already served and the time off allowed by law, this maniac will be free in approximately 13 years. He will be just slightly older than the woman he murdered, who was 43. Interestingly enough, this deranged killer will not have to see a parole board to be released; he will just walk out the door!

Whoever prepared the forensic report on this animalistic brute apparently never learned the difference between someone actually having real "learning and mental
Problems," as stated in the Snooze, and someone who is just downright brutishly stupid.

"Gee doc, I just lost it I guess." Duh! Anyone who stabs someone to death cannot
possibly be without a mental problem of some sort. And just because a person lacks "learning ability" does that also mean that he/she has no clear understanding of what is morally right or wrong?

The judge gave "credit" for the murderer's "remorse," according to the blurb in the Snooze. Remorse?! This asshole is only remorseful on paper or when he is within earshot of those that he knows he can manipulate.

This fiend manipulated the system to his distinct advantage by acting dumb, acting sorry, and thereby seeking a break, which he succeeded in getting. The message here is that if other killers have a "learning problem" or a "mental problem" or are willing or able to express remorse, real or otherwise, they should be punished less severely?

Looks like all the learning disabled and mentally troubled crack users can kill
without fear of a stiff sentence with life parole attached to it afterward. Hell I could be wrong, but don't we want to restrict the activities and supervise the learning disabled, mentally disturbed, and murderously violent? Wouldn't that make some iota of sense?

After just five years of post-release supervision this madman will be untethered and able to assume his previous crack infused lifestyle.

We have no problem giving a guy who sold 100 doses of LSD 15 years in prison and
lifetime parole, or a guy who sold 10 pounds of cannabis. And I might be wrong, but- I know who I want to be supervised for the rest of his/her life.

Corning soon to a neighborhood near you, the learning disabled, mentally problematic, crack-crazed and murderously violent Thomas M. Roland. Have no fear; he's sorry he did it.

From the very bottom......


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ATTENTION BEAST READERS! The BEAST needs you to be the next Mayor of our dear city. That's right! We want you, a lowly loyal BEAST reader, to be the next Mayor of the city of Buffalo. WE ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS! We are launching a search for 16 contestants willing to run for the position of Mayor in 2005...

Truth is Overrated Al Uthman

It's been almost a week since the second Presidential debate, and I'm still baffled at the post-debate coverage.

Well, no, that's not really true. I remember turning to a fellow viewer as we watched Bush go to pieces and saying, "watch; they're gonna come on and call it for Bush."

Political Snicker-ing Matt Taibbi

The good folks at M&M/Mars and BBDO New York have combined recently to give the world one of the more uplifting cinema experiences of the year: a series of commercials in which hapless, ambitionless zeroes with terrible haircuts make improbable journeys from their couches to the throne of mankind after eating Snickers bars.

Big Brother Knows Best Paco Alameda

True story: After eagerly awaiting the DVD release of Fahrenheit 9/11, I take a bus to The Hamburg, NY Blockbuster and ask the first friendly clerk I see to point me toward the new releases. He walks me over to the Fahrenheit 9/11 display and being a very helpful chap, takes a DVD, hands it to me and says "Is this what you were looking for?"

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