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Issue #61

Features:

Voting Guide of FEAR

Top 10 Reasons to be TERRIFIED This Halloween - Al Uthman

Onward Christian Assholes: Some Folks Just Can't Wait for the Apocalypse - Matt Taibbi

A Talk With Sam Hoyt - Eric Gauchat

Give 'em Enough Pink Ribbon to Hang Themselves: Breast Cancer? Chemical Firm Supplies Cause & Cure - Kit Smith


Faux-tures:

Our Election Campaign Sponsors

The BEAST Scary Election Fun Page!

Over 60 Million Killed in Huge Fucking Flu Epidemic - Josh Righter



Departments:

Buffalo in Briefs

BEAST-O-Scopes

The Straight Dope w/ Dr Rotten

Page 3

Separated at Birth?

[sic] - Letters




Entertainment:

Movies:

Kino Korner

Music:

Album Reviews: Interpol, Mos Def

Beastivities

Sports:

Wide Right: Going Double-Negative - Ronnie Roscoe



Comix:

I Witless News - I. Gonzalez

Deep Fried - Jason Yungbluth

Bob The Angry Flower - Stephen Notley










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Issue #60

Features:

Mayoral Survivor Contest: The BEAST Wants You to Run for Mayor!

Truth is Overrated: Why Does My TV Think Bush Won the Debate? - Al Uthman

Political Snickering: M&M/Mars' Campaign of Terror - Matt Taibbi

Big Brother Knows Best: Blockbuster Rents Bogus Fahrenheit 9/11 DVDs - Paco Alameda

Scary Little Man: Bush's Belligerence -William Rivers Pitt

Kneeling Before George: President Bush is a Serious Stud - Merry Dunce, the Beast's "Fresh Voice"

American Indian Museum Opens in DC, Promptly Stolen by American History Museum -Jake Novak

Reading the Blitz: Election Hacks Score Touchdown in Overtime Frenzy - Matt Taibbi

Freedumb: Zell Miller Echoes Militaristic Fallacy - Mark Golden




Departments:

Buffalo in Briefs

BEAST-O-Scopes

Notes from the Big House

The Straight Dope w/ Dr Rotten

Brush with Greatness: I met Gretzky - Seamus Gallivan

Page 3

Separated at Birth?

[sic] - Letters




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© 2004 The Beast

Dr Rotten’s Helpful Hint

When growing indoors you can save a lot of time using the Sea Of Green (SOG) method. It is one of the fastest ways to go from clone to bud. Start your clones in a cloning box under 24 hours of light then transfer clones to 24 oz cups full of soil; be sure to have holes in bottom of cups for drainage. After roots are visible, put the clones in larger containers (3-5 Gallon pots) under 12 hours of light. It should take approximately 8 weeks for plants to be ready to harvest. Note: not all plants are suitable to the S.O.G. method, but most seed companies will set you up with the right strain.

What should I do with all my leaves? -- Tyrone, NF

In one of my previous columns, I told how to make bubble hash out of leaves. You can smoke all the short trimming from the buds; the big thing is to cure them properly otherwise they will taste really harsh and green, kind of like lawn clippings. Most people dry the leaves too quickly, and that screws them up too. I suggest you put them in  a large paper bag and mix them up daily until dry. You can grind them into a fine dust and snort fat lines of it—sorry, wrong article. Seriously, sift out all the stems and fatter leaves; do not use the big fan leaves because they are dogshit and will not get you high. Mix the dust with cookie or brownie mix; cook as normal. Just remember, it takes a half hour or longer to kick in and the buzz is completely different. You can also take the leaves and soak them in 180 proof Devil Springs Vodka; do this with fresh leaves (do not dry them) and let them steep for 6 weeks. Sift them out and drink. Just be careful with this: it is very potent.


Some of my plants got really seedy. Is there anything I can do with my seeds so no one else can grow what I have? --Kim L, Elmwood Ave

Yes after the buds are dry you can stick the buds in the microwave for 15 seconds, this will sterilize your seeds and make them useless and it will not fuck with your buds. But why be such an ignorant bitch? Share your seeds! Maybe one of friends will grow something you want.


I want to bring an outdoor plant in to take a clone from it. Is it possible after the plant has budded? --Jeff K, Tonawanda

Yes. Trim all the big buds off the stems; leave the small buds and all leaves possible on the plant. Use scissors to take off the buds—if you pull them off you will damage the plant. Put the plant under 24 hours of light. It should start to re-green in 3-4 weeks. When the branches are big enough, you can take the clones from this plant. After you are done taking the clones, you can put the plant on 12 hours of light and it will re-bud, but the buds will be small.


How long can I keep a mother plant for cloning? --Tim P, Lockport

You can keep the plant for years as long as you keep it under 24 hours of light and keep watering and feeding it. You are better off re-cloning the plant after 3-4 months so if anything happens to the mother you have a backup.


I just got done taking down my crop, what is the best way to store the buds?

Make sure the buds are completely dried; canning jars or plastic containers work really well. It will keep the true smell and taste for months. If the buds are moist in the center, leave them out to dry, otherwise your weed will turn moldy. You can also put your buds in zip lock baggies and throw them in the freezer, you lose a little bit of the smell and taste but you can store it for years.


Strain of the issue

Black Domina

A strong Indica, large sticky buds

Heavy high

Flowers in 50 days10

seeds for $275 at Sensi Seed Bank



 

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MAYORAL SURVIVOR: A BEAST CONTEST

ATTENTION BEAST READERS! The BEAST needs you to be the next Mayor of our dear city. That's right! We want you, a lowly loyal BEAST reader, to be the next Mayor of the city of Buffalo. WE ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS! We are launching a search for 16 contestants willing to run for the position of Mayor in 2005...


The BEAST's Voting Guide of FEAR

We're looking forward to this election like we'd look forward to a hemorrhoidectomy. That's because George Bush is probably going to win. He's either going to win outright and Kerry will humbly concede, or he's going to rig or steal it in a squeaker, resulting in Kerry and the Democrats putting up a meek fight before humbly conceding. The electorate, at least those that were so passionate about anybody-but-Bush, will cry, whine a lot, accept it, lick their wounds and crawl back into their cubicles of prefabricated contentment, preferring to get an early start on their Christmas shopping.


Top 10 Reasons to be TERRIFIED This Halloween

Al Uthman

1. The Supreme Court. Not only could this body again determine the outcome of this election by a widely scorned 5-4 vote based on indefensible logic, but if Bush stays in power he'll get the chance to ensure a religious right majority for decades-say goodbye to Roe v Wade. Chief Justice Rehnquist is about to go down, and if Kerry wins, that means a chance to tip the scales in favor of reason.


Onward Christian Assholes Matt Taibbi

Nothing brings out the inner Mazes and Monsters fanatic in the fundamentalist Christian like a war. Times of peace and prosperity are, for the deep believer, relative fallow periods, where all the drama of existence is confined to shouting matches at P.T.A. meetings and pseudonymous requests for sexual advice in whispered late-night phone calls to Dr. Laura.


A Word From Our Sponsors

New National and Local Campaign Ads Increase the Attack Level.

 

 


Buffalo in Briefs

Fiscal Diarrhea - Frankly, we're speechless. What haven't we already said about Erie County's fiscal meltdown under Don Joel Giambra? The Tobacco Settlement money's long gone (except for the debt we owe on the loans against the payoff), ECMC's been sold and mortgaged for over a $100 million, and the county still faces a $130 million deficit. Didn't this guy just get re-elected? What the hell are you people thinking?


A Talk With Sam Hoyt

Eric Gauchat

Sam Hoyt caught my attention during the Democratic primary for the 144th NY Assembly District. During that race, Hoyt, a 12-year incumbent in the post, faced Joe Golombek, a Buffalo City Councilman. The race was very close, with Golombek launching an intense campaign backed by a number of people, including County Executive Joel Giambra. Hoyt managed to take the nomination, almost assuredly locking a victory in the Democrat-heavy 144th.


Give 'em Enough Pink Ribbon to Hang Themselves

Kit Smith

Breast Cancer Awareness Month was launched in 1985 by Zeneca Pharmaceuticals. Zeneca is the company that manufactures the widely prescribed breast cancer drug Nolvadex (generic name tamoxifen), and operates a chain of cancer care centers. No conflict of interest there! All TV, radio, and print media regarding Breast Cancer Awareness Month are paid for and must be approved by Zeneca. But wait; there's more.


Scary Election Funpage!

Fun Games and Facts About the Upcoming Election.

 

 






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