by Al Uthman

In the decomposing cesspool of Buffalo's public schools, City Honors has long been regarded as something of a gem. In fact, it is widely regarded as the best school the city has to offer, with the brightest kids around.

Matt Evola and David Hughes are two of those kids, seniors at City Honors this year. While most high school seniors are content to coast through their final year, these two decided to do something creative. Bored stiff with their school newspaper, they endeavored to make their own. They anonymously wrote, edited, and printed their paper, the Liberator, entirely on their own time and without using any school resources, and it was a hit with their classmates. It was harsh, funny, opinionated, and actually pretty well written. They made fun of fellow students, the "official" school paper, and, of course, the faculty at City Honors.

I have to say, the biggest surprise of this story, for me, is the fact that the Liberator is really a pretty great paper, especially for a couple of 17-year-olds. In my perusal of its three existing issues, I found myself cracking up more than a few times. There's even some decent political ranting. In fact, I'd have to say the tone and content of the Liberator resembles no other paper so much as…this one.

Not too surprisingly, by the third issue, they were in deep shit.

Why? Well, their most obvious mistake was putting themselves on the back cover of issue 3, thus enabling their stereotypically oppressive and hypocritical principal, Dr. Cathy Battaglia, to identify them. As the highest authority figure in their societal microcosm, Bataglia was a natural target of vehement derision in the Liberator. While she insists to the young editors that their criticism of her is not the reason for it, she has suspended both of them for a week, despite what Matt and David say is a total lack of outrage on the part of their fellow students. In fact, a considerable number of students assembled in protest of the suspensions and signed petitions to the effect that they supported the Liberator's right to exist, along with the First Amendment.

So why were they suspended? "They refused to tell us exactly what we were in trouble for, but seditious libel, harassment, and defamation were all charges they used verbally," says Evola.

Seditious libel? Let me tell you something about the antiquated charge of seditious libel. According to Professor David McHam of the Unversity of Houston, "in effect, any comment about the government that could be construed to have the bad tendency of lowering it in the public esteem or of disturbing the peace was seditious libel." Truth was not a defense against the charge. In fact, McHam says, "the theory was that the truth of a libel made it even worse because it was more provocative, thereby increasing the tendency to breach the peace or hold the government up to ridicule. What grew out of this was the saying, 'The greater the truth, the greater the libel.'"

Seditious libel hasn't been a realistic charge since the late 18th century. When it was, it was used to censor the press, to stifle coverage of government wrongdoing. The sheer ugliness of leveling such a charge against these high school kids is outweighed only by the total silliness of it.

That's probably why it didn't pass the vetting process. "On paper we were suspended for harassment and defamation of individuals," Evola told me. "When I asked who, I was told it didn't matter."

What did these kids do to incur such serious charges? They made fun of people. A couple of students, a few members of the faculty. Some of the stuff is a little over the top, but clearly meant in jest.

Dr. Battaglia, however, is pretty damn serious about it. Attempts to contact her were unsuccessful-she didn't return my calls. I did manage to talk to School District Spokesman Andrew Maddigan, though. Maddigan indicated that the Superintendent was in full support of Battaglia's decision to punish the kids.

Ironically, the justification he gave me was based on a school commitment to "diversity and tolerance and respect for difference." It would seem, however, that this tolerance and respect for difference doesn't extend to Evola and Hughes. Apparently, their tendency to curse and make fun negates the faculty's obligation to respect or tolerate their differences.

Maddigan championed the parents' point of view-that is , the parents of the kids that the Liberator has singled out for ridicule. "If your kid is made fun of, you'd want it to stop."

Then, of course, Maddigan raised the specter of Columbine. Not that the Liberator staff were possible school shooters, but that the students they mocked in their paper might lose it and unleash a hailstorm of hot lead on City Honors. It's a hell of an image, but it's simply unreasonable. You could use a justification like that to stop almost anyone from doing almost anything. For instance, you could stop kids from dating, on the off chance that someone might flip out and kill someone for dumping them, cheating on them, or just not putting out.

Here at the Beast, we know a little something about this attitude. Not a week goes by around here that we don't get an angry letter from someone that includes a variation of the phrase, "I'm all for free speech, but…"

We've said it before, but it bears repetition: there is nothing in the constitution regarding a right to not be offended. Good manners kill comedy; they strangle it dead. Just look at Bob Saget.

Take, for example, the illustration in the third issue of the Liberator of a Puerto Rican teacher running a foot race with a burrito dangling from a stick in front of him. Sure, it's an offensive stereotype-unless you have a sense of humor. In fact, the only thing that makes this picture funny is just how offensive it is. It is absurd; the very thought of taking this seriously makes me laugh. The teacher himself laughed it off, according to Evola and Hughes.

How do you make this joke innocuous? You don't. Removing the offensive component leaves you with no joke at all, just a teacher standing there. That's the thing about comedy; it has no friends. If you're going to be funny, really funny, you have to forget about people's feelings; you have to discard them as you would a toilet paper tube. The Beast has been accused of racism, homophobia, misogyny, you name it, just because we believe in picking on every target available with equal vigor. The irony is that we, like these kids, are really the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet.

To me, there was only one issue: "The thing is, none of the stuff in this paper would be illegal or punishable in the real world. So the only thing at issue here is whether, because these kids are minors, or handing this paper out on school grounds, they're subject to a different set of rules than the rest of us."

"Absolutely," Maddigan replied, "because state education law does allow for publications printed off premises to be distributed, but we are allowed to regulate it."

Technically, this is true, in that the school is allowed to set rules about when and how the paper is distributed, but can they simply ban it? Furthermore, can they actually punish the kids who made it, just for making it?

Not according to the New York Civil Liberties Union, which has picked up the Liberator's cause. They see this as a clear First Amendment issue, and plan to go to the wall for the kids. According to them, the Liberator constitutes protected speech, even if it were a KKK quarterly.

They'll be on hand on Wednesday, when Matt and David will attend a hearing regarding their suspension. The Beast will provide an update on the situation as soon as new facts come to light.

As for the fledgling underground journalists, they're surprisingly undaunted: "We're working on the next one already," Matt says. "And hopefully using the time off to make a website."

That's the spirit, guys. If the college thing doesn't work out, we're always looking for help around here.

Too Cool for School City Honors: Preparing Students for a Post-constitutional World

by Al Uthman

Too Cool for School
City Honors: Preparing Students for a Post-constitutional World