problem with the left is that our whole model of changing opinionsthat
contrary facts will alter peoples viewsis inherently flawed.
Mundane, oafish Americans, in a national competition to see how many
$3.99 support our troops ribbon magnets they can fit onto
the backs of their Suburbans, simply arent interested in reality...Lets
face it; there is a sizable chunk of the population who deny the validity
of evolutionevolution. Who are we kidding, thinking we
can make them see the errors in Social Security privatization?
ONE NOTICED, of course, but last year, I did not file a column on
Christmas week. This was not because I was too busy with a long schedule
of holiday merry-making.
the contrary: As editor Jeff Koyen can attest, I actually tried to
write a column on Christmas last year. I spent three long days reading
and rereading the old New York Sun's hideous "Yes, Virginia,
there is a Santa Claus" column, and tried to come up with a satisfying
counter-argument. The opening was easy enough:
everyone! Aren't my tits great? Truly they are a gift unto us from
the Holy Father. I'm so hot for Jesus!
buy Nick's album. He could really use the help.
1, Truth 0
December 12th I opened my Sunday edition of the Los Angeles Times
and saw in the obituaries that Gary Webb was dead. More specifically,
I saw that Gary Webb had killed himself. He had, it seems, shot himself
in the head. When movers arrived at his house on Saturday they found
a note on the door that said "Please do not enter. Call 911 and
ask for an ambulance."
Devito Code: A new and baffling sequel to the much-lauded Da Vinci
Code, involving a murder mystery in Hollywood which leads to the pointlessly
protracted revelation of a secret code interspersed throughout the
body of work of actor/director Danny Devito.
in the Ukraine
been trying to avoid the subject of Ukraine, not only in this column,
but in general. Like anyone with strong ties to Russia, I have a whole
range of feelings about Ukraine and Ukrainians, not all of them generous.
With the Fishes
do dying urban centers need to keep them afloat when everything and
everyone has long since moved out to the suburbs? A gimmick, of course,
like the Arch in St. Louis or, even cooler, a Rock n Roll
Hall of fame like Cleveland has! Too bad those ideas were already
taken, and the only thing our leaders could think of is resurrecting
the long dead Aud and turning it into a massive Bass Pro outdoor shop,
along with a hotel and restaurant.
Bhopal to You
BHOPAL DISASTER had its 20th anniversary last week, and so was duly
(and briefly) commemorated in the inside sections of a few American
is unlikely, however, that any public figures are going to pay tribute
to what happened 20 years ago this week. Which is too bad, because
as far as America is concerned, the week of Dec. 9 to 16 was the more
important week of the Bhopal disaster. That's when we got over Bhopal.
I was first invited by Dr. Stephen Smith to speak at Winthrop University
in South Carolina, I was preparing a trip to Haiti and I didn't give
much thought to how I would handle the engagement. I'd just finished
being pole-axed by a bout of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and it was
everything I could do to just pull the Haiti trip together. So I didn't
pay much attention to the person who would appear with me - one Patrick
Clawson - to represent "the other side" in a forum/debate
billed as "What Next in Iraq? A Post-Election Perspective."
your last rag/magazine complaining about the last Presidential elections
made me laugh. You commies have nothing better to do but insult our
President, our country and our troops. You all should go back and
help your fellows brothers in the Ukraine, where there really was
a corrupted and stolen election.
Top 10 Hacks of the 2004 Election
- GEORGE WILL, NEWSWEEK: Will uses big words and pompous literary
references to dress up what are basically the brutish and vulgar thinking
patterns of a non-union meat-packing plant owner. He is a pig in a
of the Litter
4am on a winter night, and I'm parked on a dead end street near Kaisertown.
Its a secluded corner of the city I found by driving around
aimlessly. I'm new to town, and penniless after buying my van with
$700 I squirreled away the last time I got a paycheck. That was 7
months ago. Over those months, I managed to live off a few hundred
bucks while sleeping in a warehouse closet and helping some friends
make a TV show to try selling to a network.
Cool for School
the decomposing cesspool of Buffalo's public schools, City Honors
has long been regarded as something of a gem. In fact, it is widely
regarded as the best school the city has to offer, with the brightest
wondering what the next phase of the Republicans' invasion of their
country will bring should consider El Aguacate airstrip in Honduras.
In 2001, 185 bodies were dug up there: the victims were the 'terrorists'
and 'enemies of democracy' of the day.
time to face some unpleasant facts, Buffalo. This country may not
be the best place for us anymore. On November 2nd, we all bore witness
to a terrible turning point in our history; a bad lifestyle choice,
if you will. We had the chance to reject the increasing madness of
our nation's leadership, their blind march to pointless war and craven
desire to take advantage of us in every manner conceivable, and we
blew it. America has spoken, and it said "duh."
Ultra-cynical Ways to Beat the Republicans
did the Democrats lose? At least in part, it's because they thought
that being right would actually work in their favor. Let's face it,
logic doesn't mean squat in politics. People say there's too much
cynicism in politics today, but we think there really isn't enough.
Cynicism works. The Republican Party has embraced it, and it has worked
wonders for them. The Democrats have made some progress in this area,
but they are still lagging badly. If there's any hope for the blue
states, they must learn the lessons of Machiavelli and Rove. To help
them along, the BEAST offers these suggestions.