whom it may concern:
would like to present you with an idea for your newspaper. I though
of a great addition you can add that you can also put on the website
to get more popular. What do you think about a 'Dear Abby' section?
You can get your customers to email to 'Dear Abby' any concerns they
have and need some advise on, questions they may need answers to, needing
advise on family or love life or to just vent. This was VERY popular
in PA where I lived at before and gain alot of new customers that looked
forward to 'Dear Abby' to not only see their answers but others to see
what all was written to and from Abby.
you would be interested in it, please contact me and we can go over
details about it. Also, I can be contracted so I would not have to
be an employee if that works better.
you and hope to hear from you.
TOOK ONE WEEK OFF, PEOPLE
- did the beast fold? this would be horrible horrible news. i need a
new issue like a junky needs a fix... –josh
junky? You know what to do. On your knees, bitch!
a loyal reader for a long time, I would have to say that I am a little
disconcerted with the fact that I can't find a new issue of the beast
anywhere. I can only assume that something serious has happened (assasination,
indefinate vacation at Gitmo, etc.) I'm sure that you are receiving
plenty of e-mails and calls from paranoid readers, such as myself, fearing
the worst. So is this the end of the only paper worth killing trees
for in this city? A response would be nice, or hell, update the website.
Throw us a bone Al. We are starving out here.
yourself boned. At least you people are paying attention. Now somebody
give us some money.
TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE
the editor of The Beast:
Miller’s position (Dec. 22, 2004), though well meant, is misguided.
Protecting the Constitution is a far more important goal than protecting
children at school. This should be clear to more than just journalists
fighting for their own rights under the first amendment.
once again, we see school administrators take the cowardly way out.
The way that does the most they can do to protect their careers and
their standing in the community. By censoring young minds, you lose
those young minds. Instead of teaching the need to speak up against
hate (crimes and speech of all kinds), you teach the dubious values
of hypocrisy and self-promotion. Bright kids can smell bullshit a mile
away and City Honors is full of bright kids.
takes courage to teach--courage not to bow down to power while standing
for truth. Teaching children not to bow down to outside authority while
seeking truth is perhaps the most important mission an educator can
aspire to. This goes beyond protecting our Constitution; this gives
birth to new generations capable of writing their own new constitutions.
The possibility of hated-filled actions being inspired by inflammatory
writings in a student-published newspaper pales in comparison to the
reality of the potential that is lost when censorship is brought to
bear through misapplication of power in the hands of hypocrites.
us now bring to light the actions of these administrators. Let’s understand
the valuable lesson that was tossed aside in their rush to cover their
own asses. Bad writing--full of excessive emotion, overwrought ideas—is
to be expected of the young person searching to find his of her voice.
Bad leadership—full of cowardice and power mongering—should not be allowed
to flourish in anyone’s schools.
is it that the only time we get lengthy, coherent arguments from people
is when we cover a controversy at a high school?
a lark, we drove from Rochester to Buffalo this Saturday night just
"to hit a couple of bars." I've never really been to Buffalo
in all these years, just around it or through it to get somewhere else.
We went to Nietzsche's and in a nearby restaurant I picked up your paper.
find your journalistic style a refreshing departure from the standard.
I agree with tears in my eyes that Meet the Family was pathetic, a collection
of overused ideas and actors that, if it didn't leave you feeling empty,
you already were empty. I'm working my way through the Loathsome Americans.
Waldo Emerson said something to the effect that successful art is a
thing that presents to the viewer/reader something he already knows
but only subconsciously until seeing/reading it in the open - in the
work of art.
how I felt when I started reading The Beast. I actually once started
to write a piece along the lines of "1 beautiful white child...",
but put it aside because I wasn't sure where I was going or why...
being in the media business as I am, I have to imagine it's fairly tough
selling advertising for a publication like The Beast.
like to at least buy you coffee. How do I subscribe, by check, not credit
usually $26 for six months, but since you write for Rochester’s City
Paper, we’re going to have to charge you double.
HER DRUNK, STUPID
45: Everyone needs to try this at least once, even if it’s at a “ghetto”
themed house party. Only available in 22 and 40 oz. containers (would
it be any other way?).”
say never I guess. I garnered new found respect (why I don’t know)
from a charter bus full of fellow college classmates on a trip to Chicago
when I returned from a party store in Northern Indiana carrying a 6
pack of Colt 45! Not the wisest of choices I admit, but having never
seen this swill in a can (I am surprised that the aluminum can could
actually take the abuse and resist rusting away) I became immediately
intrigued and of course had to have it. The strangest thing was that
everyone seemed to want one. I was getting offers left and right asking
if they could trade ‘up’ for the Colt 45. Against my better judgment
I only traded one away and drank the rest. Needless to say it made
the rest of the bus ride interesting and seemed to ‘raise my status’
with my fellow binge drinkers.
thought you might want to know…
to think of it, we remember those old Billy Dee Williams commercials
where he was backing into his apartment with some fine chocolate honey
inside, grinning from ear to ear, always holding a sixer of Colt 45.
“Works every time,” he’d say, just before closing the door. Creepy.
up a Beast on my bi-yearly pilgramage to the Buff to see my family.
I currently live in Northern California. Oh, sure, we have our share
of indy-politico rags here, but nothing nearly as edgy or funny. I must
say, "Christmas in hell!" really warmed my heart and filled
me with the holiday spirit. How can I get a sub to your fine publication?
BTW, Tell Dr. Rotten his work is needed here.
The Pacific Northwest needs advice on growing bud. Next thing you know,
the Afghans will be asking us for tips on opium poppy horticulture.
Ronnie were any DUMBER...he would be drafted by Bills fans to write
for their dumbass newspapers! The Bills need 2 things to have a GREAT
Team: 1) A BIG CENTER, 2) a third RECEIVER to play in the slot! STONEHANDS
Reed just isn't making it....he's good enough to add depth! Bledsoe
is by far the BEST player on the team! If you IDIOTS don't "GET
IT", maybe Drew will say "FUCK BUFFALO! (the asshole of the
Earth)" You guys will be back in Quarterback HELL where you belong!
I'd laugh my ass off if LOSSMAN were your STARTER next season! Well
until he broke his legs again!
sorry Ronnie hurt your feelings. We know you’re getting to that age
when great quarterbacks with nothing to prove decide to retire, but
you’re planning on clinging to what you have left. We can’t argue; it’s
what we would do if we were being paid millions, too. But please, that’s
no reason to lash out at your fellow teammates. Take it easy Drew, you’re
a good guy—it’s not like we expected you to win.
WITH DAMN PRAISE
got the new issue. Laughed out loud like an idiot the whole bus ride
home from work. Still haven't worked my way through the whole thing.
Some bits I carry with me: Switched at Birth (my wife is still a bit
speechless....but in a good way); Slappy the Tsunami; The entire "Loathsome
List", but #3 is best.
the "Straight Dope," though.
What was the deal with the Christine Skinner letter? It was like it
was written on a meth binge.
do you mean, “like?”
found your magazine online through a link to your '50 Most Loathsome
People' article. Great stuff. However, as a Canadian, I feel the need
to point out a few factual errors in your otherwise insightful 'O Buffalo'
"Liberal" is a noun, not an adjective
Ontarians hate french; try the "Beau Fleuve" thing and we'll
sell you to Quebec for an order of poutine
Fuck the Sabres, we want the Bills
Not even Canadians listen to Celine Dion
Words can be nouns and adjectives, silly
OK, how about “Hortonsville?”
You can have ‘em
Someone’s buying that shit, and it ain’t us.
I’ve seen a better collection of entertaining writing that makes think
and laugh...I’m not aware of it.
Hello! Found the article on Blogdex. The most incisive and
brilliant thing I've read in memory !!! Give that author a raise, better
yet, get him a national audience. Congratulations!
god, that is some of the funniest stuff I have EVER read. BRILLIANT!!!
Driscoll, Los Angeles
stumbled on your website via a semi-improbable link at TwoBillsDrive.
Read the 50 most loathsome list out loud to my wife, delighting in the
scathing wordsmith(s?) at work here -- funny as hell, as well as deeply
disturbing. We are all, indeed, soaking in it -- well done
was awesome. Time to stop soaking in it.
for the list.
just came across your site today, and I haven't stopped laughing since
then. Haven't been so entertained in a long time. It's sad, though,
that there's a truth and reality behind all your observations, that
"evil-doers" (borrowed Bush saying) like those in power just
get away with the utter nonsense they spew out every day.
keep up the amazing writing, and I'm going to let al my mates know about
your site (knowing my luck they already do).
Beautiful, articulate, poignant. I'll shut up now.
heard my soul. I've passed it one.
you so much for including Colin Quinn in your 50 Most Loathsome Americans
list. I was flipping through the channels one night and stumbled across
his show on Comedy Central and I couldn't believe someone gave this
guy a show. He couldn't go one sentence without flubbing his lines.
I mean, it was just painful. I almost felt bad for the guy.
always figured they let him read the news on SNL because someone in
the back was laughing at his expense.
another example of the greatness produced by MTV's Remote Control.
brilliant update of the list. one thing you might add - justice thomas
asleep for most oral arguments, according to a supreme court reporter
recently gave a talk at harvard law. she said she usually has a good
the bottom of his chin or the top of his head.
thought he was into oral. Hmmm…bottom of his chin? Top of his head?
Sounds like your lecturer is doing a little arguing of her own, if you
know what we mean. (We mean oral sex.)
awesome work. but where is the rove ?
shocked to see that Michael Moore didn't make your list. I think Kerry
could have possibly won the election if it wasn't for Moore.
than that, I loved your list.
know O’Reilly is not that important, and that he is probably a moron
(and we should not make fun of morons). But I think that it would not
be that cruel if you would have considered him for a 49th place or so.
mean, for the pathetic way he hit on that girl, and for telling her
shit about his wife and her vibrator…
of these worthy candidates (and Paris Hilton, and Rush Limbaugh) were
on previous lists, if it makes you feel better. Guess we just didn’t
want to repeat ourselves too much. Alas, there are only 50 slots, when
there could be 500. However, if you write a witty, abrasive critique
of your nominees and send it to us, we promise to pawn it off as our
own work next year.
handles? PICK HANDLES? I'm afraid not. Lester Maddox never handed out
a pick handle in his disgusting puke of a life. He handed out ax handles.
in the south, they don't pick. They ax. The ax people directions, they
ax you if you're a goddamned commie liberal from up north, they ax you
once to get the fuck back where you belong, then they hand you by your
scrotum. But they don't pick because if they did, they'd pick another
life, one not involving living in the south or being who they are. So
actually, it was pick handles. Is there a difference? Anyway, we must
object: there are a lot of cool, interesting people in the south. They’re
in New Orleans.
your "50 Most Loathsome People" list:
think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet..."
mean like your little whine-rag?
you (whoever actually wrote this little cyber tantrum - hard to tell
as it doesn't appear to have a byline) can enumerate any substantive
change you've ever brought to bear upon the geo-political system you
despise, inasmuch as you're so well-informed and have all this keen
insight that you deingrate the brainwashed masses for lacking...
did we touch a nerve? Look, we’re sorry we described you so accurately,
but don’t take that to mean that “you” doesn’t include us. If you think
that makes us hypocrites, it won’t disturb our sleep patterns. Ps. we
bitch all day in print.