Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend

Issue #70    Buffalo's New Best Fiend       March 9th - March 23, 2005
FEATURES
METAL MAYHEM
Tumors for Sale
by Allan Uthman
ABOUT WHAT'S ON PAGE 7 - I'm Not Sorry
by Matt Taibbi
52 FUNNIEST THINGS
About the Upcoming Death of the Pope
by Matt Taibbi
STARVING THE BUFFALO
by Gabe Armstrong
SPOILER - AV Publisher Ruins Movie for WNY
MIDDLE AMERICA - Out of Step with Hollywood Values
BEAST LOCATOR
BEAST ARCHIVES
RSS FEED
ISSUE#70 PDF FILE
DEPARTMENTS
BEAST Home Page
Buffalo in Briefs
Separated At Birth
Straight Dope w/ Dr. Rotten
Beast-O-Scopes
BEASTivities
Bardak & Eats
Kino Corner
Classifieds
Toons & Puzzles
[SIC] - Your Letters
BEAST Links
BEAST E-Newsletter
BEAST Merchandise
Martha  Stewart  Goes  to  Bathroom
BEAST PAGE 3

SERIOUSLY CREEPY DENTIST

Name: Dr. John Hall

Turn-ons: Impacted molars, xylocaine, sexualizing clinical situations, sedated teens

Turn-offs: Experienced swallowers, malpractice litigation, the North Carolina State Dental Board, my staff, my wife

Beast Page 3 - Seriously Creepy Dentist
How I Became THE BEAST PAGE 3 SERIOUSLY CREEPY DENTIST: I swear I didn't do it! I was set up by my employees, and patients, and possibly "the man." What kind of weirdo do you think I am? I would never inject my seed into the mouths of my hapless female patients (who, by the way, seem a lot more familiar with the taste of semen than my wife). Why, does it turn you on?

Future Plans: Well, I'm screwed. I can't practice dentistry, and I definitely can't show my face around town anymore. Maybe I'll change my name and become a gynecologist-no, probably not a good plan on second thought.

How I'd Like to be Remembered: As a guy who, after all was said and done, really did some great bridgework, and probably should have just picked up a hooker once in a while.

Matt Taibbi's Controversial Article
 
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