Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 
May 18 - June 1, 2005 Issue #75
 Jesus Considers "Nuke-ular" Option
SURRENDER MONKEYS
Liberal Strategy in Culture Wars: Play Dead

by Allan Uthman
WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK!
Serious Risk of Bullshit
by Matt Taibbi
The BEAST PAGE 3
Promotional Celebrity Relationship
El Legend de Tom Delay
by Matt Taibbi
FROM OIL TO OZ
by Matt Higgins
ONE OF THESE DAYS
by William Rivers Pitt
CITGO DOESN'T SUCK
Buy gas at Citgo.
No, really...
LETTERS FROM LYNNDIE
 
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Warhol was an Optimist

The Best of the Five Minute Video Series

Saturday, May 21, 7pm, Market Arcade Cinema

Hey reader, what are you doing Saturday night? Wasting your paycheck at the bars of downtown Buffalo in a vain attempt to pick up STD-ridden floozies? How about something new, something you’ve never done before? How about going to the Market Arcade Cinema on Main St. at 7pm to see the premier of "The Best of the Five Minute Video Series," a collection of clips from your favorite public access TV program, "The Five Minute Video Series." This event marks the one-year anniversary of the show, brainchild of Richard Wicka, 15-year veteran of public access here in Buffalo. In the past year, "The Five Minute Video Series" has given 225 people just that, a five-minute forum to do and say whatever they please. Of those 225, the best 25 have been voted on and selected for this big-screen cinematic debut.

The series began as all great things do, in a moment of spontaneous, porch front realization. A friend was visiting, who had a penchant for tangential chatter which resulted in a lot of unfinished conversational threads. Wicka grabbed a clock and his video camera, set the two up on the porch and told his friend it was him, the camera, and five minutes. Nothing else. When he showed the clip to friends, they wanted their own five minutes. That snowballed into the television show, which in the intervening year has garnered a worldwide audience, thanks to the internet. Now The Five Minute Video Series is broadcast not only here in Buffalo, but in Monterey, California and Auckland, New Zealand.

The clips presented in The Five Minute Video Series run the gamut from funny to warm, from moving to off the wall, and are held together by a kind of unrehearsed spontaneity, which inevitably leads to some truth peeking out from time to time that in any other situation would have fallen victim to a corporate cutting room butcher block.

If you want to be a part of this event you’d better get off your ass, because there are only 320 seats available. Tickets are five dollars each and can be purchased in advance by e-mailing para@adelphia.net, or at the door the night of the show. As an added bonus, after the showing you can meet your favorite five-minute artist in the lobby, and probably talk Mr. Wicka into doing your own five minutes if you are so inclined. You owe yourself this look into untamed, unscripted human nature (not like that "Survivor" bullshit) and, even more so, you owe it to the loyal "Five Minute" fans of New Zealand, who would gladly give up their sheep and their pseudo-Australian accents to be at this premier. Or you could just go ahead with your STD-gathering experiment, getting your shallow and poorly thought-out kicks behind some dumpster downtown before collapsing in a pile of your own (you hope) vomit, dick in the wind, wishing you had heeded my advice and actually done something useful with your life

BEASTivities - Events Calendar

Friday, May 20

Live music.

Alternative Brews …Harmonica Dean & the Blue Lights, 6pm

Anchor Bar …Jimmy Gomes and The Jazz Example w/ vocalist Dodo Green, every Fri, 10pm

Broadway Joes …DEEPTHINKA PRESENTS: Ketchup’s Birthday Show, Ketchup playing alongside some other handsome gentleman, 8pm???

Club Infinity …Pigface, Sheep On Drugs, 7pm

Comix Café …THE SANDMAN: the number hypnotist in America! Call 835-HAHA to make reso’s

Continental …The Blow Tops, The Bamboo Kids, Pecavvi, 50 Amp Fuse, 10pm

E.B. Green’s, Hyatt Regency …Jackie Jocko & Joe Peters, every Fri, 6-10pm

Kabob & Curry …Worldly Improvisations of Purnima, great Indian food, 6pm

Lafayette Tap Room …Shades of Blue…Free /

McGarret’s (formerly Heenans) …Buffalo’s finest local groove/eclectic musicians, only $3, 11pm

Merlins …Steam Donkeys, FREE, 7-10pm / Magic Red & The Voodoo Tribe, 930pm

Mohawk Place …Willie & The Reinhardts, 730pm /

Nietzsches …Jim Whitford 6pm / 1 WORLD TRIBE 1030pm

O Restaurant and Lounge … The Latin Jazz Project, 630-1030pm, FREE

Shadow Lounge & Restaurant …Buffalo’s only piano bar & lounge featuring Lyn Cala & friends, 630-1030pm

TRALF …Junction West, Hitmen Horns, 8pm

Tudor Lounge …Dan Harper, The Designated Hitters, every Fri, 6pm, free

DJ’s.

Club Marcella … Fornicate Fridays hosted by FY’R w/ Kiki & Electra…1130pm & 130am

Continental …Goth/Alt/Indie/DJ (upstairs), 11pm

Jade …PLUSH Fridays: The biggest, baddest house music weekly w/ Jubei, Ryan Lidell, and special guests. 10pm

O Restaurant and Lounge …DJ Skoobie, every Fri, 1130pm

Off The Wall …Rotating trip-hop, hip-hop, and abstrakt DJ’s. Come chill in Buffalo’s most unique retro-café-bar-restaurant-chill-space. 11pm

Opium Lounge …2-4-1 Factory Fridays: Techno, breaks, drum n bass w/ Hippie, D-Phunk, and weekly special guests, 11pm

Prespa …Foundation: Every Friday featuring deep house, downtempo, electro, & broken-beat in a casual sophisticated lounge setting, 10pm

658 Lounge …Funky Fresh Fridays: Breaks all night from DJ’s citra, devious, and special guests, 11pm, 18+

Sphere …Ladies Night, Ladies Free, 11pm

 

Saturday May 21

Live music.

Alternative Brews …Pete Howard & Friends, 9pm

Broadway Joes …Meredith Brown, The Corrections, Orson’s Well, Phantasm, Lisa Rose, Steve Roth, The Works, 7pm

Club Infinity …Ciara Lynn, Nocturne, Scary Monsters, 7pm

Comix Café …THE SANDMAN: the number hypnotist in America! Call 835-HAHA to make reso’s

Continental …KIRA, About Time, Moccasin Stomp, Viewmaster Vacation, 10pm

E.B. Green’s, Hyatt Regency …Jackie Jocko & Joe Peters, every Sat, 7-11pm
Elmwood Lounge …Lance Diamond Show, every Sat, 11pm-3am

Lafayette Tap Room …WNY Blue Society Amateur Blues Jam, 2pm / Billy McEwen , 930pm

Nietzsches …Kristen Becker (comedian), 8pm / Little Mountain Band, 11pm

O Restaurant and Lounge …David Kane Quartet, every Sat, 7-10pm, FREE

Pokey Joe’s …Blues Matinee w/ Brent & the Accuratones, 2-6pm

Shadow Lounge & Restaurant …Buffalo’s only piano bar & lounge featuring Joe the Carnival Clown & friends, 700-10pm

TRALF …SWITCH, 8pm

DJ’s.

Allen St. Hardware Café …Sick & Tone Atlas: Jazz soul and hip-hop sprinklings, every week @ 11pm

Club Marcella …Boy-Lesque…9pm

Continental …Alternative Dance CDJ (upstairs), 11pm

Groove …College Night (R&B, hip hop, reggae), 10pm, 18+

Mulligan’s Brick Bar …DJ College, every Sat, 10pm

JADE …Kiss 98.5 Live to Air w/ Charles Masters, 10pm

Off The Wall …Rotating trip-hop, hip-hop, and abstrakt DJ’s. Come chill in Buffalo’s most unique retro-café-bar-restaurant-chill-spot. 11pm

Prespa …Structure: house, breaks, electro, & electric beats in a lounge setting, DJ Scotty deja blu. 2 for 1 pints after 2am.

Rendezvous …Jubei, Kei, & Spectre, midnight

Sphere …Trance, House, and beyond w/ ‘lil Joe, no hip-hop, FREE, 11pm

Utopia …Sexy Saturdays w/ Jon Boesche, 9pm

Sunday, May 22

Live music.

Continental …Sunday Night Riot: DOG FASHION DISCO…WHAT?! Only the sickest thing to come since FNM. Also w/ Legbas Assasin, Catatonik, Bonesaw Romance, Against All Hope, 6pm

Crocodile Bar …Strictly Hip plays the music of Tragically Hip, 9m

Lafayette Tap Room …Jony James Band, FREE, 8pm

Merlin’s …Open mic w/ Lana & Mike Hund, every Sun, 10pm

Nietzsches …The Allen St. Jazz Band, never a cover charge, 730pm

SPHERE …Relient K, This Day And Age, 6pm doors bitch

Tudor Lounge …The Jony James Band, every Sun, 7pm, FREE

DJ’s.

Club Marcella …"Life’s a Drag" hosted by Miss Understood w/ DJ Frankie, every Sun, 11:30pm & 1:30am

Spot Coffee …Dharma Lab spins broken beats & downtempo, come chill, 8pm

 

 

Monday, May 23

Live music.

Allen St. Hardware …Vibe Collective: Waz, Crittendon, & Rozler play jazz, funk, and soul every week, 10pm

Broadway Joe’s …Madd Dogg, Independents, Weezing Stubblers, Not On Track, 6pm

Merlins …Karaoke w/ Billy-Oke, every Mon, 10pm

McGarrets …LAZLO. 2 Sets. FREE.

Nietzsches …Singer/Songwriter Showcase 830pm / Open Mike with Michael Meldrum, 1030pm

 

 

Tuesday, May 24

Live music.

Broadway Joe’s …Open Mic Tuesday w/ Hoaxium & Stinky Ben, every Tues., 1030pm

Comix Café …Dueling Pianos, every week, call 835-HAHA

Nietzsches …Redheaded Stepchild, 9pm

TRALF …Frontier Central Jazz Band, All Ages, 8pm

Ya Ya’s … Fat Tuesday EVERY Tuesday! LeeRon Zydeco & the Hot Tamales, Buffalo’s finest oyster bar, every Tues, 6-9pm

DJ’s.

Allen St Bar & Grill …Chilled Beats, DJs Scotty and Snackboy spin reggae, dub, downtempo, underground hip-hop and indie rock, every Tues, 10pm-3am

JADE …College Night! 18+ w/ college ID, Top 40 beats from guest DJ’s, 10pm

Mulligan’s Brick Bar …DJ College, every Tues, 10pm

 

Wednesday, May 25

Live music.

Alternative Brews …Pro Jam, every week, Chicago Jack & The Marvelous Heptones, 8pm

Broadway Joes …Fat Ellis, Jamie Notarthomas, 8pm / UB Jam Club presents JAM NIGHT. Great…some bullshit "jam night" every fucking goddamn week. As if "jam bands" weren’t played out enough as it is. Give us one good reason to come down to this fucking thing…

Colored Musicians Club …Art Anderson Big Band, every Wed, 8-10pm

Cozumel …Open mic w/ Michael Disanto, every Wed, 10pm

E.B. Greens …Jackie Jocko, every Wed, 6-10pm

Elmwood Lounge …Blankface, every Wed, 10pm

Evolution …Universal Grille, every Wed, 7pm

Heroes (Willliamsville) …Karaoke w/ Johnny Saffire, 9, FREE

Mohawk Place …The Know How, I Voted For Kudos, Mechatama, Rex Banner, 7pm

Nietzsches …Johnny Seven Band (surf/mercy), 9pm

Tudor Lounge … Open Mic w/ Gene McManus, 10pm

DJ’s.

Allen St Bar & Grill …DJ DR No aka Lazy G aka The New Dictator aka Dave G spins garage-soul punk rock & roll yo.

Club Marcella …Our Showgirls hosted by Ms. Fanta-See, 1030pm

Faso’s Grateful Bear …Ladies 80’s Night

La Luna …E-Love & Snackboy spin rock, brit-pop, indie, & new wave, 10pm

Mulligans …DJ Doug every Wednesday, 10pm

 

 

Thursday May 26

Live music.

Broadway Joes …Bare Essentials, Hanging Scarlet, Polyplush Cats, Falling Into Place, 730pm

Colored Musicians Club …Carol McLaughlin Band, every Thurs, 8-10pm

Continental …Allentown Music Open Night Mic, 10pm

Crocodile Bar …Universal Grille Band, 9pm

E.B. Green’s, Hyatt Regency ... Jackie Jocko & Joe Peters, every Thurs., 7-11pm

Lafayette Tap Room …The Mick Hayes Band, 830pm, free

McGarrets (formerly Heenans) …The finest jazz-jam-funk bands every week, $2 pints of anything! 11pm

Nietzsches …The Complete Unknown’s (happy DYLAN B-DAY), Michael Meldrum, give it a rest for fuck’s sake, 8pm

Player’s …Parrot Karaoke w/ John Dudley 9-?

Royal Pheasant …Vibe Collective: Waz, Crittendon, & Rozler play jazz, funk, and soul every week, 10pm

Soundlab …The Fucking Champs (drag city), Zombi, Boy Jazz, 9pm

Tudor Lounge …Jony James every Thurs, 8pm, FREE

DJ’s.

Club Marcella …Ladies Night Thursdays, drag kings & queens perform @ 930 & 1130pm

Continental …Retro Thursdays (upstairs), 10pm

Groove,,,Warlock, Illmatic spin r&b, hip-hop, and reggae, 10pm

658 Lounge …CAUTION: Drum n Bass weekly w/ Basha & special guests, 11pm, FREE

Opium Lounge … Depeche Mode vs. Kraftwerk: Back 2 the 80’s w/ DJ Mike Parker, vintage tunes, huge patio, 10pm

Roxy’s Green Room …Strip Teaser’s Burlesque Show, 10pm

Third Room …DJs Chief and Chris (old school, new school, and underground hip hop), every Thurs, 10pm

 

Friday May 27

Live music.

Alternative Brews …JJ Swing Big Band, 6pm

Anchor Bar …Jimmy Gomes and the Jazz Example, every Fri, 10pm

Broadway Joes …Hope & Suicide, Corpus Dei, Ghosts of War, Robots & Empire, 730pm

Club Infinity …Supernova Music Showcase, 7pm

Continental …Vox Humana, Telephonics, 10pm

E.B. Green’s, Hyatt Regency …Jackie Jocko & Joe Peters, every Fri, 6-10pm

Kabob & Curry …Worldly Improvisations of Purnima, great Indian food, 6pm

Lafayette Tap Room …Frank Bangs Secret Stash, 930pm

McGarret’s (formerly Heenans) …Buffalo’s finest local groove/eclectic musicians, only $3, 11pm

Merlins …Steam Donkeys, FREE, 7-10pm /

Mohawk Place …Willie & The Reinhardts, 730pm / Semi-Tough, w/ TBA, 11pm

Nietzsches …JIMMY SWIFT BAND JIMMY SWIFT BAND JIMMY SWIFT BAND…10pm, the hottest thing around.

O Restaurant and Lounge …The Latin Jazz Project, 630-1030pm

Shadow Lounge & Restaurant …Buffalo’s only piano bar & lounge featuring Lyn Cala & friends, 630-1030pm

Soundlab …Sleeping Kings of Iona, LAZLO, Besnyo, 9pm

TRALF …The Best of the Best comedians, 8pm

Tudor Lounge …Dan Harper, The Designated Hitters, every Fri, 6pm, free

DJ’s.

Club Marcella …Fornicate Fridays hosted by FY’R w/ Kiki & Electra…1130pm & 130am

Continental …Goth/Alt/Indie/DJ (upstairs), 11pm

Jade …PLUSH Fridays: The biggest, baddest house music weekly w/ Jubei, Ryan Lidell, and special guests. 10pm

O Restaurant and Lounge …DJ Skoobie, every Fri, 1130pm

Off The Wall …Rotating trip-hop, hip-hop, and abstrakt DJ’s. Come chill in Buffalo’s most unique retro-café-bar-restaurant-chill-space. 11pm

Opium Lounge …Factory 241 Fridays w/ Hippie, D-Phunk, Fractal Project. International talent almost every week. 10pm

Prespa …Foundation: Every Friday featuring deep house, downtempo, electro, & broken-beat in a casual sophisticated lounge setting, 10pm

Sphere …Ladies Night, Ladies Free, 11pm

 

Saturday May 28

Live music.

Alternative Brews …Eric Mowry & the Show Dogs, 9pm

Broadway Joes …THE ENIGMA…w/ Displaced, Counter Point, plus more TBA, 9pm

Club Infinity …JC Thompson Band, 7pm

Continental …American Outlaws, plus TBA, 10pm

E.B. Green’s, Hyatt Regency …Jackie Jocko & Joe Peters, every Sat, 7-11pm
Elmwood Lounge …Lance Diamond Show, every Sat, 11pm-3am

Lafayette Tap Room …Billy B & the Rhythm Blues All-Stars, 930pm

Mohawk Place …The Legendary Shack Shakers, The Whiskey Dardevils, 10pm

Nietzsches …Tom Stahl Band, Blue Umbrellas, 8pm ;/ Allison Pipitone Band, 11pm

O Restaurant and Lounge …David Kane Quartet, every Sat, 7-10pm, FREE

Pokey Joe’s …Blues Matinee w/ Brent & the Accuratones, 2-6pm

Shadow Lounge & Restaurant …Buffalo’s only piano bar & lounge featuring Joe the Carnival Clown & friends, 700-10pm

SPHERE …Some Ener-something TBA "coming soon" Update your fucking website man…

Soundlab …Barrel Harbor, Exit Strategy, Fathoms, 9pm

DJ’s.

Allen St. Hardware Café …Sick & Tone Atlas: Jazz soul and hip-hop sprinklings, every week @ 11pm

Club Marcella …Boy-Lesque…9pm

Continental …Alternative Dance CDJ (upstairs), 11pm

Groove …College Night (R&B, hip hop, reggae), 10pm, 18+

JADE …Kiss 98.5 Live to Air w/ Charles Masters, 10pm

Mulligan’s Brick Bar …DJ College, every Sat, 10pm

Off The Wall …Rotating trip-hop, hip-hop, and abstrakt DJ’s. Come chill in Buffalo’s most unique retro-café-bar-restaurant-chill-space. 11pm

Prespa …Structure: house, breaks, electro, & electric beats in a lounge setting, DJ Scotty deja blu. 2 for 1 pints after 2am.

Rendezvous …Jubei, Kei, & Spectre, midnight

Sphere …Trance, House, and beyond w/ Lil’ Joe, no hip-hop, FREE, 11pm

Utopia …Sexy Saturdays w/ Jon Boesche, 9pm

 

Sunday, May 29

Live music.

Broadway Joes …Who Killed Marilyn, Brian Wheat, Unwelcome Guests, Czech Mates, Todd Deatherage, The Boy Bathing, 6pm

Crocodile Bar …Strictly Hip plays the music of Tragically Hip, 10pm

Lafayette Tap Room …The JONY James Band, FREE, 8pm

Merlin’s …Open mic, every Sun, 10pm

Nietzsches …The Allen St. Jazz Band, FREE, 730pm

Tudor Lounge ...The Jony James Band, every Sun, 7pm, FREE

DJ’s.

Broadway Joe’s …Tribute to Dave Matthews, 1030pm

Club Marcella …"Life’s a Drag" hosted by Miss Understood w/ DJ Frankie, every Sun, 1130pm &

1:30am

Spot Coffee (Downtown …DJ Flip, Soul Station, 830pm, 1030pm

Monday, May 30

Live music.

Allen St. Hardware …Vibe Collective: Waz, Crittendon, & Rozler play jazz, funk, and soul every week, 10pm

Broadway Joe’s …Greenlight Booking presents Indie Night, 10pm

Merlins …Karaoke w/ Billy-Oke, every Mon, 10pm

McGarrets … LAZLO. 2 Sets. FREE.

Mohawk Place …Holy Shit w/ The Trailer Park Tornados, 9pm

Nietzsches …Singer/Songwriter Showcase 830pm / Open Mike with Michael Meldrum, 1030pm

 

Tuesday, May 31

Live music.

Broadway Joe’s …Open Mic w/ Hoaxium & Stinky Ben, every Tues, 1030pm

Comix Café …Dueling Pianos, every week, call 835-HAHA

Mohawk Place …Lower Class Brats, 7pm

Nietzsches …Redheaded Stepchild, 9pm

Ya Ya’s … Fat Tuesday EVERY Tuesday! LeeRon Zydeco & the Hot Tamales, Buffalo’s finest oyster bar, every Tues, 6-9pm

DJ’s.

Allen St Bar & Grill …Chilled Beats, Scotty and Snackboy spin, dub, downtempo, underground hip-hop, every Tues, 10pm-3am

JADE …College Night! 18+ w/ college ID, Top 40 beats from guest DJ’s, 10pm

Mulligan’s Brick Bar …DJ Fritz, every Tues, 10pm

 

Wednesday, June 1

Live music.

Alternative Brews …Pro Jam, every week, Chicago Jack & The Marvelous Heptones, 8pm

Broadway Joes …UB Jam Club presents: Jam Night w/ UB based bands every week, $2 pints, 10pm

Colored Musicians Club …Art Anderson Big Band, every Wed, 8-10pm

Cozumel …Open mic w/ Michael Disanto, every Wed, 10pm

E.B. Greens …Jackie Jocko, every Wed, 6-10pm

Elmwood Lounge …Blankface, every Wed, 10pm

Evolution …Universal Grille, every Wed, 7pm

Heroes (Willliamsville) …Karaoke w/ Johnny Saffire, 9, FREE

Tudor Lounge … Open Mic w/ Gene McManus, 10pm

DJ’s.

Allen St Bar & Grill …DJ DR No aka Lazy G aka The New Dictator aka Dave G spins garage-soul punk rock & roll yo.

Club Marcella …Our Showgirls hosted by Ms. Fanta-See, 1030pm

Faso’s Grateful Bear …Ladies 80’s Night

La Luna …E-Love & Don spin rock, brit-pop, indie, & new wave, 10pm

Mulligans …DJ Doug every Wednesday, 10pm

 

 

 

Want your venue or event listed here? Want us to get rid of it? Don’t be a lazy promoter. Email marshall@buffalobeast.com and we just might take care of that for you

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