Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

June 1 - 15, 2005

Issue #76

  .........................Buffalo's Best Fiend
   

The CyberCloset
A Chance Encounter

by Allan Uthman

 
Monkey Business
A Different Kind of Crusade
by Matt Taibbi
 
Jack Davis vs China
Trade Protectionist Gets His Party Started
by Matt Higgins
 
War on Drugs or Just War?
Plan Colombia Stays Aloft
by John Myers
 

Newsreek
Anonymous Sources Under Fire--Sometimes

by Matt Taibbi

 

Lonely Revolution
Free Buffalo, but Nobody's Buying

by Matt Higgins

 

Are You an Evil Genius?
Take the Quiz
by N. Sorrenti

 

Get Your Blog On
Helpful Tips
for Newbies

 
  
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ISSUE#76PDF FILE (right-click & "save target")
Cover Page
Buffalo in Briefs
Separated At Birth
Page 3
Blind Date Scenario
Beast-O-Scopes
Kino Korner
[SIC] - Your Letters
 
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Get Your Blog On

The Beast has recenty embarked on it's first adventure into the world of blogging. Before you embark upon your own journey ito the Blogosphere, you’ll need to assemble your own Blogger’s Survival Kit:

Blogging Goggles: Better known as “Bloggles.” These sporty specs are a must-have for anyone spending most of their lives in a fultile effort to change the minds of twenty or so other shut-ins, none of whom will actually vote. They filter out harmful UV rays and reduce vitriol by 30%. (Note: when bloggling on Google, it is appropriate to call it “Bloogling,” but this has been known to cause severe beatings.)

Cool Name: If you’re a red-stater, you need something strong and patriotic-sounding, like “Jefferson’s Musket” or “The Eagle’s Talon” or something. Liberals should opt for obscure, “I’m smarter than you” phrases like “Vermunculan Parasol” or “Phrygian Filigree.” Or, for comic fun, go the self-referential route: a name like “Bloggy Bloggerton, the Blogtacular Blogging Blog” will be sure to elicit a chuckle, and ensure that no one ever takes you seriously.

Phony Usernames: An arsenal of these will be needed to place anonymous comments on other people’s blogs which refer them to your blog, without letting them know you’re a desperate self-promoter.  These can also be used to post comment to your own blog, giving the appearance that people are interested in what you have to say. Examples: rovehater, wrestlingfan, familyguyrules

Blog-Wear: Forget about the cumbersome apparel of the outside world, like neckties, raincoats, and pants. Get comfy with a pair of pajama bottoms and some fuzzy slippers—you ain’t going nowhere! And, because blogging involves minimal physical exertion and lowers exposure to outdoor contaminants, you can relax your personal hygiene schedule

High-Carb Snacks: These are essential to maintain the energy needed to wage battle against other anonymous blowhards and/or entertain your audience with criticism of TV shows and pictures of your cats. They also help to achieve the pre-diabetic body type considered chic in blogging circles.

Cable TV and Subscription to New York Times: How else are you going to debunk the MSM if you’re not constantly immersed in it?

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