Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

June 1 - 15, 2005

Issue #76

  .........................Buffalo's Best Fiend
   

The CyberCloset
A Chance Encounter

by Allan Uthman

 
Monkey Business
A Different Kind of Crusade
by Matt Taibbi
 
Jack Davis vs China
Trade Protectionist Gets His Party Started
by Matt Higgins
 
War on Drugs or Just War?
Plan Colombia Stays Aloft
by John Myers
 

Newsreek
Anonymous Sources Under Fire--Sometimes

by Matt Taibbi

 

Lonely Revolution
Free Buffalo, but Nobody's Buying

by Matt Higgins

 

Are You an Evil Genius?
Take the Quiz
by N. Sorrenti

 

Get Your Blog On
Helpful Tips
for Newbies

 
  
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ISSUE#76PDF FILE (right-click & "save target")
Cover Page
Buffalo in Briefs
Separated At Birth
Page 3
Blind Date Scenario
Beast-O-Scopes
Kino Korner
[SIC] - Your Letters
 
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The Beast Page 3 Euclidean Solid

Name: Cone

Turn-ons: Abstraction, exact symmetry, graph paper, traffic “cones,” baklava

Turn-offs: Imperfection, time, fractals, Einstein, calculators

How I got to be The Beast Page 3 Euclidean Solid: I was called into existence gradually, as a dimensionless point, when an undergrad freshman at Stanford won an argument in her geometry class. Since then I’ve been growing more complex. My only problem is I exist in an infinite, empty realm of pure darkness, which can get pretty boring. Plus there’s no bathroom.

Future Plans: I hope to be an octahedron by the end of this semester.

How I want to be remembered: As a seamless product of pure imagination, whose utter perfection can never be matched in mere reality, which also makes a funny hat.

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