Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

June 15-29, 2005

Issue #77

  .........................Buffalo's Best Fiend
   

Free to Agree
Sensenbrenner's Sensibilities

by Allan Uthman

 
Gettin' Rucky in Pyongyang
Kim Jong Il gets his fleak on
by Matt Taibbi
 
Dean Was Right
Hey Howard, Keep Up the Good Jerk
by William Pitt
 

Throat Job
Newsweek Still Gagging on Unnamed Sources

by Matt Taibbi

 
SUMMER SPECTACULAR!

8-Step Summer Makeover
by Dan Devine

 

Goth Kid's Summer Survival Guide
It's not fun for everyone

 
Hallmarks of Summer
What makes Buffalo summers so darn special?
 

Sports

The Sports Blotter
The Week in Sports Crime

Sports Desk
Sporting News

Lake Erie Surfin'
People Really Do This

Cover Page
Buffalo in Briefs
Page 3
Blind Date Scenario
Beast-O-Scopes
Kino Korner - Movies
[sic] - Your Letters
The BEAST Blog

 

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Last Issue: (76)

The Beast Page Three Denim Shorts

Name: Jean

Turn-ons: McDonald’s booths, washing machines, Velcro
wallets, Pleather belts, fried dough.

Turn-offs: Bleach, bike seats, blood, leaky pens, “Jams”

How I Became THE BEAST PAGE 3 Denim Shorts: I began as a pair of pants and gave many good years. I would like to think I was a favorite. But then, frayed cuffs and a large mustard stain required that I be cut into shorts. Sadly, I don’t get out as often as I used to, usually only during the summer, and an annual trip to Myrtle Beach, S.C.

Future Plans: I hope to go to Angola on the Lake this summer, get wet, and roll in the sand. Also, grind against a few honeys at Mickey Rat’s. Plus, that Dukes of Hazzard movie’s coming out, so I’m expecting a fashion upgrade. Awww, yeah!

How I’d Like to be Remembered: As durable and down-to-Earth, less hoity-toity than seersucker, more comfortable than wool, and a really cheap way to cover your genitals when it’s hot out.

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