booths, washing machines, Velcro
wallets, Pleather belts, fried dough.
Turn-offs: Bleach, bike seats,
blood, leaky pens, “Jams”
How I Became THE BEAST PAGE 3 Denim
Shorts: I began as a pair of pants and gave many
good years. I would like to think I was a favorite. But then,
frayed cuffs and a large mustard stain required that I be
cut into shorts. Sadly, I don’t get out as often as
I used to, usually only during the summer, and an annual trip
to Myrtle Beach, S.C.
Future Plans: I hope to go
to Angola on the Lake this summer, get wet, and roll in the
sand. Also, grind against a few honeys at Mickey Rat’s.
Plus, that Dukes of Hazzard movie’s coming out, so I’m
expecting a fashion upgrade. Awww, yeah!
How I’d Like to be Remembered:
As durable and down-to-Earth, less hoity-toity than seersucker,
more comfortable than wool, and a really cheap way to cover
your genitals when it’s hot out.