Beast Page 3
Michael Jackson Toast
The King of Toast
Toaster prophecy, butter, the Pilsbury Doughboy, pain killers,
the gullible, Tom Mesereau and being in the mouths of young
English muffins, Country Crock, Pop-Tarts, The Southbeach
diet, consenting adult relationships, Martin Bashir and unleavened
I Became THE BEAST PAGE 3 Michael Jackson Toast:
It was truly a miracle. I, and dozens like me, magically ejected
from toasters all over the country on the day the Jackson
verdict was handed down, as if a sign from God of Michael
Jackson's innocence. No, really I'm just fucking with you,
I was actually made by some opportunistic dipshit with a propane
torch and a soldering iron. SHA-MOAN!
Plans: Hee-hee-hee! I see myself being sold for at
least $30,000 on E-bay. I mean, a few months ago a slice of
Virgin Mary toast sold for, like, $25,000 and I'm way cooler
than some boring religious prude. HOOOO!
I'd Like to be Remembered: As an essential part of
a complete breakfast, and a charred reminder of greed and
denial in a time when real news simply doesn't rate.