World is Going to End in 11 Months
the faithful have long known, the apocalypse as described
in the book of Revelations is inevitable and we’ve all just
been trying to keep ourselves busy until then. Apparently
there will be a lot of trumpets and goats or something to
let us know when all this is going to happen. It is well
understood that all the righteous will ascend to heaven
(like me) and all the sinners will go directly to hell (like
you believe you are a good Christian. Well, I can tell you
that you probably are not. Have you ever masturbated? Had
premarital sex? Oral? Anal? Pulled out prior to ejaculation?
Do you eat shellfish? Wear cotton/poly blends? Ever swore
at your parents? Coveted things? Taken the Lord’s name in
vain? Enjoyed rock music? If so, you’re going to hell.
“Oh not to worry,” you might say, “there’s plenty of time
for me to become a proper Christian; I have plenty of time
to be a dirty sinner.” But the end times may be coming sooner
than you think. Revelations (13:18) describes the coming
of the beast in cryptic numerical terms. The number, 666,
as you are all familiar, has been widely interpreted by
scholars and theologians alike. If you ask me, it clearly
means June 6, 2006. And if you don’t believe me, maybe you
will when your flesh is being charred from your bones in
the eternal damnation of hell. Anyway, you’ll have a long
time to think about it then.
not a stretch, considering the shape the world is in and
the extent of moral depravity that surrounds us. Besides,
God wrote the bible, and if he says the world is definitely
going to end on June 6, 2006, then the world is going to
end on June 6, 2006. Everything else in the bible has come
true; why wouldn’t this?