| The
Beast Page 3 Presidential Grave Desecrator
 Name:
Monte
Turn-ons:
Presidential grave desecration, Beavis and Butthead, angry
rednecks
Turn-offs:
CIA-imported cocaine, sanctification of war criminals, “Being
Bobby Brown”
How
I became The Beast Page 3 Presidential Grave Desecrator:
I opened up my Friday by skipping class, and coerced one of
my morally challenged friends in to joining me on a road trip
(about 3 hours) to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library
in Simi Valley, California. Behind the library, on a hill
overlooking Simi Valley, is the final resting place of Ronald
Reagan's corpse. Things get a little fuzzy at this point,
but judging from my expression and body language, combined
with what little I do remember, this appears to be about the
time security guards noticed I had jumped the fence and started
jigging over Reagan's rotting corpse (the original plan called
for the Electric Slide, and then humping the ground, and then
whatever else I could get away with, but security was stricter
than we had anticipated). We had to tear ass out of there
and lose security in the parking lot, but we appear to have
gotten away scott-free.
Future
Plans: After I posted the picture to the forum at
RuthlessReviews.com,
the story got picked up by WorldnetDaily, a rabid right wing
website. The headline reads, “'Satanist' dances on Reagan's
grave” – pretty damn funny if you ask me. Anyhow,
now they’re all out to kill me, especially after I posted
more pictures, this time of me peeing on Nixon’s headstone
too. What can I say; I’m just a funny guy!
How
I’d like to be remembered: For these specific
acts.
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