CALLING
THE KETTLE RETARDED
Buffalo
Beast,
Having
recently moved to Buffalo and noticed the plethera of retarded
people here, I decided to search the internet and find out
why. I found your article
on the Hollywood/tard correllation to be highly informative.
And I thought since you do know a lot about Buffalo and
retards, maybe you could help me find out why there are
so many of them here. I have lived in TN, Eastern NY, and
VA. I have never seen so many retarded people in my life
as I have in Buffalo. What's with that?
Andrew
All the smart people already left, Andrew—except us, of
course. What you need to be thinking about is this: what
kind of retard moves here?
BELATED
ANGST
My
nomination for most loathsome of Buffalo is not one
person, but a whole group of bloodsuckers that add
to the overall misery of living here: Landlords.
I haven't met an honest one yet. As though road
tolls, insane parking laws, high taxes, shitty schools,
corrupt politicians, and an apathetic populace weren't
enough, Buffalo also harbors some astoundingly evil
property managers. These guys aren't the
least bit concerned about breaking laws and screwing you
financially because they know this town is too fucked
up to do anything about it.
Since
moving here last September (unbelievable stupidity on my
part, I admit) I am in my third apartment. The first
landlord lived upstairs and had his utilities - including his
heat - connected to mine. When I pointed this out
and asked him to disconnect, he made my life a living hell.
After I moved out, he sent me a bill for $1200. My
next place was the top floor of a 'restored' Victorian.
Not even a week into living there, it rained and the ceiling
collapsed in the living room and kitchen, revealing years
of water damage and black mold. This happened in the
middle of the night, and, lacking an emergency number, I
called the landlord at home, who denied owning
the property and hung up on me. As for repairing the
damage, some mopping and a new coat of paint was supposed
to be fix the problems. Additionally, the off-street
parking that was advertised turned out to not accommodate
the number of tenants, so parking a block or two
away overnight was normal. Mind you, the landlord's
son, the property 'manager', had a reserved spot.
Now
in my third apartment, thousands of dollars in lost
deposits later, I'm again risking it with an on-site
landlord. The first day here the flush on my
toilet broke. It took a week for the landlord to replace,
despite the fact that he lives right beneath me and I
am his only tenant. And for the record, these are
not slums I'm living in. This is the nice stuff!
Fuck
this shit hole of a town. The Beast is the only thing
worth staying for, and it's available online, so what the
fuck am I still doing here?
M
Wait
a minute, here, M—are you telling us that landlords in other
cities fix stuff? Come on—seriously? Yeah, right; next you’ll
be saying they give back your security deposit, too.
LOATHSOME
LOCALS
Loved
your 25
Most Loathsome Buffalonians. Here's my Honorable Mention:
Right-to-Lifers who picket at gay events. No gay sex in
the history of the world has ever resulted in an unwanted
baby or abortion. Why these fetus fetishists aren't out
on Chippewa, where avowed heterosexuals openly arrange hookups
and spawn any number of inconvenient pregnancies, is beyond
me.
I
now await my ritual Beast humiliation.
Cynthia
Van Ness
Cynthia,
Ummm….you’re
stupid. Or ugly or something. Look, we’re having an off
day, all right?
PROFESSORIAL
PRAISE
Subject:
Buffalo’s 25 loathies
Superb!!
The committee awards you both ears and the tail.
Bruce
Jackson
Thanks, Bruce—but what animal?
HEAVY
METAL MAMA
To:
Allan Uthman, Evil
Editor-in-Chief
Re:
Mercury
Rising: Big Media Buys the Pharm
July 27-August 10, 2005 - Issue #80
THANK
YOU for writing about the national politics of Thimerosal,
the vaccine sterilizer that is 49.6% mercury. Unfortunately
a group of self-serving bureaucrats are preventing autistic
children from receiving medical treatment for mercury-induced
autism. It's a national disgrace.
Three
years ago I put my son, then 4, in a tantrum study at the
University of Minnesota. They watched him have tantrums.
Next
I took my son to an autism treatment center, where they watched
him have tantrums and diagnosed autism.
Then
I took my son to a neurologist, who watched my son have
tantrums in the expensive office. We left without having
tests run, but were still given a prescription for Adderall.
It made my son psychotic. When I reported this, the neurologist
gave us a prescription for Ritalin, saying cavalierly, "Usually
if one drug doesn't work, the other one does."
Unimpressed
I skipped the drug, stopped abrogating responsibility for
medical knowledge, and started doing my own study into theories
of autism. I took my son to HRI+Pfeiffer Treatment Center,
which ran tests showing my son had heavy metals toxicity
and nutritional insufficiencies.
I
started giving my son the vitamins and minerals he
lacked, and within 2 weeks he stopped having tantrums.
Later
I learned that my son had high levels of epinephrine and
norepinephrine, which the drug Adderall exacerbated. If
you watch cheesy TV medical dramas you've seen ER docs inject
epi into stilled hearts to restart beating. No wonder my
son went psycho.
It's
utterly absurd to send autistic kids off to behavioral therapy
and give them drugs that mask or worsen symptoms. These
kids have mercury poisoning, which causes biochemical imbalances,
which manifest as behavioral symptoms. And when the kids
get proper medical treatment, they lose the autistic symptoms.
We
don't send diabetics off to behavioral therapy. This is
insane, yet it's nearly impossible to changed the viewpoint
of traditional medical practitioners as long as the U.S.
Centers for Disease Control denies that it accidentally
overdosed children 100-150 times the EPA's "safe"
level of the second most toxic element known to humans.
A
few doctors make feeble attempts at understanding. They
incorrectly test blood but don't find mercury -- of course
not. That's like looking for icebergs in Saudi Arabia.
A NIEHS study released in February by U-Washington's Thomas
Burbacher et al showed that ethylmercury in vaccines clears
the bloodstream quickly... because it binds to brain tissue
2-4 times more readily than methylmercury from fish. Scary.
A
recent report by the Environmental Working Group shows that
some children have a defect in methylization processes,
impeding excretion of toxic heavy metals. They need a dose
of chelating chemical such as DMSA (2,3-dimercaptosuccinic
acid) to release the mercury from brain tissue, so it will
finally show up in measureable amounts in urine or hair.
By
the way, I was one of the parents interviewed for the
New York Times article by Gardiner Harris and Anahad
O'Connor. Those two writers willfully ignored every bit
of scientific evidence presented to them by parents. Many
of us gave the reporters peer-reviewed medical journal articles,
Congressional reports, media investigations, children's
medical records, contact info for physicians and treatment
centers, leaked internal CDC memos obtained under FOIA...
you name it. Instead of reporting the news, The
New York Times slanted it.
When
Gardiner Harris flew to St. Paul, Minnesota on March 29,
he didn't ask me what science supported my assertion that
mercury injected into my son caused his neurological disorder.
Instead Harris asked, "What were you feeling?"
I made him ask 3 times before I answered, and my careful
words were not purple enough to make the edit.
Thank
heavens that the final product of Harris, O'Connor and their
editors was so over the top that the bias was obvious to
anyone with a modicum of critical thinking skills... which
excludes Public Editor Byron Calame, who like Harris is
a former employee of The Wall Street Journal.
Well,
I'll stop preaching to the choir. Again, my gratitude for
questioning so-called authority and seeing a prime example
of CYA by the CDC. In the meantime, I'm off to answer some
letters from the volunteer advocacy site www.GenerationRescue.org,
which is trying to help parents of "autistic"
children find tests and treatment for mercury toxicity (and
not at $800 an hour like one prominent doctor charges).
Wish us luck; we're working against the tide.
Nancy
Hokkanen
Minneapolis,
Minnesota
Apparently, Nancy, the Times investigates public health
issues with the same levels of vigor and tenacity that they
employed in investigating charges of WMD in Iraq. We’re
sure they were going to look through the evidence you gave
them, until a Dr. Chalabi called, and assured them it wasn’t
necessary. And after all, isn’t that all we can really expect
from our paper of record?
MERCURY
MILF
Allan-
A huge thank you for the in depth coverage regarding the
link between autism
and mercury.
As
the mother of an autistic, and a fan of The Beast, I can't
tell you how wonderful it was to see some of the BEST reporting
on the topic in a long time. You got your facts straight,
obviously did some research and put it out for the public
to read. I would venture a guess that you have done more
in Buffalo to raise awareness than any of us "crazy
parents" could have done.
While
I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, this whole mess just
stinks of a cover up.
I
would love to see more on the topic, and I know any of us
parents locally would be more than happy to sit down and
talk about our expereinces.
Thank
you again,
C
Bowen
Sure
thing, Ms. Bowen... You do mean sexual experiences,
right?
PULITZER
PUTZ-PUMMELING
To
Mr. Fallon and the BEAST Staff,
Congratulations
of the great writing, yet again. Seems you guys don't need
to re-locate to Brazil or secede
to Canada after all.
I'm
writing this after doing my own research on the renewed
debate over DDT. Ayn Randians, Nicholas Kristof, and other
conservative figures are pinning it on the Left and the
enviromentalists as another genocide-tail: "Not only
did the commies murder millions of people last century,
but they banned DDT for no reason and killed 80 millions
more in Africa!"
There's
already bene some debunking done, on a small scale, by scientists,
but the think-tanks still have the upper hand. I'm not one
to unthinkingly dismiss issues, though, and you guys at
the BEAST have a good record of being conscious but SANE
on the matter. Maybe it's a good article hook, since the
BEAST is ever good at following the money and tracking down
special interests. The piece
on the vacine-autims link was so good that, in a just world,
someone would steal Tom Friedman's Pulitzer, give it to
you, then let you beat him to death with the statue.
Kudos
and good luck,
Fábio
Jardim.
We
think you should write the article, Fabio, since you have
provided us with the most delicious image of this issue.
Beating Friedman to death with any blunt instrument sounds
wonderful—but his Pulitzer! Inspired. On the other hand,
we’ve been huffing DDT since the Berlin Wall came down,
with no adverse effects—unless you count hair loss, chronic
nausea, excruciating pain, dementia, pancreatitis, bone
disintegration and blindness. Ask you doctor if DDT is right
for you!
COOLER
HEAD
I
find your rag highly amusing, but when I got to "Here
Comes the Sun", I thought you were pushing it just
a bit. Taking into account that we spent a year 5 degrees
below average or more, I don't think that Buffalo is the
model for the harsh effects of global warming based on this
summer alone. Remember our 60 degree summer last year, and
the fact that it was a solid 15 degrees and below from December
to the beginning of March this year? Even globally: while
we're seeing melting trends in polar places, the temperatures
in the Pacific near Australia actually are experiencing
cooling trends. Which just goes to prove George Carlin's
point: Since the earth has exerienced über tropical periods
followed by an ice age, it's more than arrogant to assume
that human beings are causing this.
-Jill
Hurley
So,
Jill, how much money did you get from Exxon Mobil to write
this e-mail? Funny, we thought it might be arrogant to pretend
that billions of people could spew countless tons of black
soot and CO2 into the atmosphere of a smallish planet for
decades to no ill effect. But hey, what do we know, especially
when you cite such prestigious scientific minds as George
Carlin.
AN
ARMY OF DUMB
Hello,
I
have noticed your newspaper around the Canisius campus where
I go to school and have looked at the paper quite frequently.
I have an issue with the back page Army
add that you people put in the Beast this week. I usually
would not contact people who write or work for this paper
however I feel strongly about this topic.
I
am an avid supporter of the US Militay, especially more
so now than ever since we are engaged in a conflict. As
a person who had two relatives in WWII, one of who was seriously
wounded in battle, I find this add to be absolutely repulsive.
This is a total disregard for anyone and everyone who has
served in the military, currently serving in the military,
and especially those who have died while in the military
all so you can have the freedom to publish your little paper
(among many other things). I support 100% your right to
have your own opinion and to share with others, however
to degrade and cowardly put an add in a strictly-liberal
newspaper to bash the people who have died not only in Iraq
but other conflicts as well, is completely uncalled for.
I
know you people over at that publication will not take this
seriously as you have shown you have no decency for the
people who have died serving you and no heart for this great
country of ours, however I for one will not pick up another
Beast unless there is a trash can near by.
I
would like to see you put that add in the face of a mother
or father whose son or daughter has given their life for
you, and see their reaction. However, you people are not
like that as you hide behind the ink that puts the words
on the paper of the Beast.
Sincerely,
Matthew J Mancini
Oh
sure, Matthew; everyone’s a fan when the team makes the
playoffs. We’re not going to bother with an explanation
of how the ad specifically targets this war and the deployment
of reservists, but let us just say this: we both know this
is not about WWII, so don’t even try to go there. Then,
we were attacked by a nation, and we attacked them back.
Now, we were attacked by a bunch of religious assholes,
and we invaded a country none of them were from, sending
a bunch of poor saps to kill and die in service not to you
or us, but to the disgusting lies of the world’s most successful
conmen. These kids have not died for us, or you for that
matter; they have died for profit. We’d like to see them
stop getting killed, but you seem more interested in not
hurting their feelings. So who has the moral high ground
here? After all, you could be with them, Matt, instead of
just being an “avid supporter.
