Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend
 

August 24 - September 7, 2005
Issue #82

  ..Buffalo's Best Fiend
   
Evolution Rock
Jesus or Darwin? An ultimatum
Allan Uthman

Keepin' it Real
Cindy Sheehan, representin'
Shawn Ewald

It's Gettin' Hot in Here
Global Warming: Warming the Globe?
Kit Smith
Large & in Charge
Bob Wilmers, Buffalo's control freak
Donnie Dobovich
People Like You
You people just don't get it

Michael Manville

No Strategy, Just Exit
Fractured left threatens itself

Stan Goff

The Real Greatest Americans
Screw the Discovery Channel
Erich Schulte

The BEAST BLOG
Buffalo in Briefs
The Sports Blotter
The Week in Sports Crime
Page 3
Celebrity Math
Separated at Birth?
Beast-O-Scopes
Kino Korner: Movies
[sic] - Letters
 Cover Page

COMIX:
Idiot Box
Perry Bible Fellowship
Bob the Angry Flower

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[sic] - Letters

CALLING THE KETTLE RETARDED

Buffalo Beast,
Having recently moved to Buffalo and noticed the plethera of retarded people here, I decided to search the internet and find out why.  I found your article on the Hollywood/tard correllation to be highly informative.  And I thought since you do know a lot about Buffalo and retards, maybe you could help me find out why there are so many of them here.  I have lived in TN, Eastern NY, and VA.  I have never seen so many retarded people in my life as I have in Buffalo. What's with that?
Andrew


All the smart people already left, Andrew—except us, of course. What you need to be thinking about is this: what kind of retard moves here?


BELATED ANGST

My nomination for most loathsome of Buffalo is not one person, but a whole group of bloodsuckers that add to the overall misery of living here: Landlords.  I haven't met an honest one yet.  As though road tolls, insane parking laws, high taxes, shitty schools, corrupt politicians, and an apathetic populace weren't enough, Buffalo also harbors some astoundingly evil property managers.  These guys aren't the least bit concerned about breaking laws and screwing you financially because they know this town is too fucked up to do anything about it.

Since moving here last September (unbelievable stupidity on my part, I admit) I am in my third apartment.  The first landlord lived upstairs and had his utilities - including his heat - connected to mine.  When I pointed this out and asked him to disconnect, he made my life a living hell.  After I moved out, he sent me a bill for $1200.  My next place was the top floor of a 'restored' Victorian.  Not even a week into living there, it rained and the ceiling collapsed in the living room and kitchen, revealing years of water damage and black mold.  This happened in the middle of the night, and, lacking an emergency number, I called the landlord at home, who denied owning the property and hung up on me.  As for repairing the damage, some mopping and a new coat of paint was supposed to be fix the problems.  Additionally, the off-street parking that was advertised turned out to not accommodate the number of tenants, so parking a block or two away overnight was normal.  Mind you, the landlord's son, the property 'manager', had a reserved spot.

Now in my third apartment, thousands of dollars in lost deposits later, I'm again risking it with an on-site landlord.  The first day here the flush on my toilet broke.  It took a week for the landlord to replace, despite the fact that he lives right beneath me and I am his only tenant.  And for the record, these are not slums I'm living in.  This is the nice stuff! 

Fuck this shit hole of a town.  The Beast is the only thing worth staying for, and it's available online, so what the fuck am I still doing here?
M

Wait a minute, here, M—are you telling us that landlords in other cities fix stuff? Come on—seriously? Yeah, right; next you’ll be saying they give back your security deposit, too.


LOATHSOME LOCALS

Loved your 25 Most Loathsome Buffalonians.  Here's my Honorable Mention: Right-to-Lifers who picket at gay events.  No gay sex in the history of the world has ever resulted in an unwanted baby or abortion.  Why these fetus fetishists aren't out on Chippewa, where avowed heterosexuals openly arrange hookups and spawn any number of inconvenient pregnancies, is beyond me.

I now await my ritual Beast humiliation.
Cynthia Van Ness

Cynthia,
Ummm….you’re stupid. Or ugly or something. Look, we’re having an off day, all right?


PROFESSORIAL PRAISE

Subject: Buffalo’s 25 loathies
Superb!! The committee awards you both ears and the tail.
Bruce Jackson


Thanks, Bruce—but what animal?


HEAVY METAL MAMA

To:    Allan Uthman, Evil Editor-in-Chief

Re:    Mercury Rising: Big Media Buys the Pharm
           July 27-August 10, 2005 - Issue #80

THANK YOU for writing about the national politics of Thimerosal, the vaccine sterilizer that is 49.6% mercury. Unfortunately a group of self-serving bureaucrats are preventing autistic children from receiving medical treatment for mercury-induced autism. It's a national disgrace.

Three years ago I put my son, then 4, in a tantrum study at the University of Minnesota. They watched him have tantrums.

Next I took my son to an autism treatment center, where they watched him have tantrums and diagnosed autism.

Then I took my son to a neurologist, who watched my son have tantrums in the expensive office. We left without having tests run, but were still given a prescription for Adderall. It made my son psychotic. When I reported this, the neurologist gave us a prescription for Ritalin, saying cavalierly, "Usually if one drug doesn't work, the other one does."

Unimpressed I skipped the drug, stopped abrogating responsibility for medical knowledge, and started doing my own study into theories of autism. I took my son to HRI+Pfeiffer Treatment Center, which ran tests showing my son had heavy metals toxicity and nutritional insufficiencies.

I started giving my son the vitamins and minerals he lacked, and within 2 weeks he stopped having tantrums.

Later I learned that my son had high levels of epinephrine and norepinephrine, which the drug Adderall exacerbated. If you watch cheesy TV medical dramas you've seen ER docs inject epi into stilled hearts to restart beating. No wonder my son went psycho.

It's utterly absurd to send autistic kids off to behavioral therapy and give them drugs that mask or worsen symptoms. These kids have mercury poisoning, which causes biochemical imbalances, which manifest as behavioral symptoms. And when the kids get proper medical treatment, they lose the autistic symptoms.

We don't send diabetics off to behavioral therapy. This is insane, yet it's nearly impossible to changed the viewpoint of traditional medical practitioners as long as the U.S. Centers for Disease Control denies that it accidentally overdosed children 100-150 times the EPA's "safe" level of the second most toxic element known to humans.

A few doctors make feeble attempts at understanding. They incorrectly test blood but don't find mercury -- of course not. That's like looking for icebergs in Saudi Arabia. A NIEHS study released in February by U-Washington's Thomas Burbacher et al showed that ethylmercury in vaccines clears the bloodstream quickly... because it binds to brain tissue 2-4 times more readily than methylmercury from fish. Scary.

A recent report by the Environmental Working Group shows that some children have a defect in methylization processes, impeding excretion of toxic heavy metals. They need a dose of chelating chemical such as DMSA (2,3-dimercaptosuccinic acid) to release the mercury from brain tissue, so it will finally show up in measureable amounts in urine or hair.

By the way, I was one of the parents interviewed for the New York Times article by Gardiner Harris and Anahad O'Connor. Those two writers willfully ignored every bit of scientific evidence presented to them by parents. Many of us gave the reporters peer-reviewed medical journal articles, Congressional reports, media investigations, children's medical records, contact info for physicians and treatment centers, leaked internal CDC memos obtained under FOIA... you name it. Instead of reporting the news, The New York Times slanted it.

When Gardiner Harris flew to St. Paul, Minnesota on March 29, he didn't ask me what science supported my assertion that mercury injected into my son caused his neurological disorder. Instead Harris asked, "What were you feeling?" I made him ask 3 times before I answered, and my careful words were not purple enough to make the edit.

Thank heavens that the final product of Harris, O'Connor and their editors was so over the top that the bias was obvious to anyone with a modicum of critical thinking skills... which excludes Public Editor Byron Calame, who like Harris is a former employee of The Wall Street Journal.

Well, I'll stop preaching to the choir. Again, my gratitude for questioning so-called authority and seeing a prime example of CYA by the CDC. In the meantime, I'm off to answer some letters from the volunteer advocacy site www.GenerationRescue.org, which is trying to help parents of "autistic" children find tests and treatment for mercury toxicity (and not at $800 an hour like one prominent doctor charges). Wish us luck; we're working against the tide.
Nancy Hokkanen
Minneapolis, Minnesota


Apparently, Nancy, the Times investigates public health issues with the same levels of vigor and tenacity that they employed in investigating charges of WMD in Iraq. We’re sure they were going to look through the evidence you gave them, until a Dr. Chalabi called, and assured them it wasn’t necessary. And after all, isn’t that all we can really expect from our paper of record?


MERCURY MILF

Allan-
A huge thank you for the in depth coverage regarding the link between autism and mercury.

As the mother of an autistic, and a fan of The Beast, I can't tell you how wonderful it was to see some of the BEST reporting on the topic in a long time. You got your facts straight, obviously did some research and put it out for the public to read. I would venture a guess that you have done more in Buffalo to raise awareness than any of us "crazy parents" could have done.

While I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, this whole mess just stinks of a cover up.

I would love to see more on the topic, and I know any of us parents locally would be more than happy to sit down and talk about our expereinces.
Thank you again,
C Bowen

Sure thing, Ms. Bowen... You do mean sexual experiences, right?


PULITZER PUTZ-PUMMELING

To Mr. Fallon and the BEAST Staff,

 Congratulations of the great writing, yet again. Seems you guys don't need to re-locate to Brazil or secede to Canada after all.

I'm writing this after doing my own research on the renewed debate over DDT. Ayn Randians, Nicholas Kristof, and other conservative figures are pinning it on the Left and the enviromentalists as another genocide-tail: "Not only did the commies murder millions of people last century, but they banned DDT for no reason and killed 80 millions more in  Africa!"

There's already bene some debunking done, on a small scale, by scientists, but the think-tanks still have the upper hand. I'm not one to unthinkingly dismiss issues, though, and you guys at the BEAST have a good record of being conscious but SANE on the matter. Maybe it's a good article hook, since the BEAST is ever good at following the money and tracking down special interests. The piece on the vacine-autims link was so good that, in a just world, someone would steal Tom Friedman's Pulitzer, give it to you, then let you beat him to death with the statue.
Kudos and good luck,
Fábio Jardim.

We think you should write the article, Fabio, since you have provided us with the most delicious image of this issue. Beating Friedman to death with any blunt instrument sounds wonderful—but his Pulitzer! Inspired. On the other hand, we’ve been huffing DDT since the Berlin Wall came down, with no adverse effects—unless you count hair loss, chronic nausea, excruciating pain, dementia, pancreatitis, bone disintegration and blindness. Ask you doctor if DDT is right for you!


COOLER HEAD

I find your rag highly amusing, but when I got to "Here Comes the Sun", I thought you were pushing it just a bit. Taking into account that we spent a year 5 degrees below average or more, I don't think that Buffalo is the model for the harsh effects of global warming based on this summer alone. Remember our 60 degree summer last year, and the fact that it was a solid 15 degrees and below from December to the beginning of March this year? Even globally: while we're seeing melting trends in polar places, the temperatures in the Pacific near Australia actually are experiencing cooling trends. Which just goes to prove George Carlin's point: Since the earth has exerienced über tropical periods followed by an ice age, it's more than arrogant to assume that human beings are causing this.
-Jill Hurley

So, Jill, how much money did you get from Exxon Mobil to write this e-mail? Funny, we thought it might be arrogant to pretend that billions of people could spew countless tons of black soot and CO2 into the atmosphere of a smallish planet for decades to no ill effect. But hey, what do we know, especially when you cite such prestigious scientific minds as George Carlin.


AN ARMY OF DUMB

Hello,
I have noticed your newspaper around the Canisius campus where I go to school and have looked at the paper quite frequently.  I have an issue with the back page Army add that you people put in the Beast this week.  I usually would not contact people who write or work for this paper however I feel strongly about this topic.

I am an avid supporter of the US Militay, especially more so now than ever since we are engaged in a conflict.  As a person who had two relatives in WWII, one of who was seriously wounded in battle, I find this add to be absolutely repulsive.  This is a total disregard for anyone and everyone who has served in the military, currently serving in the military, and especially those who have died while in the military all so you can have the freedom to publish your little paper (among many other things).  I support 100% your right to have your own opinion and to share with others, however to degrade and cowardly put an add in a strictly-liberal newspaper to bash the people who have died not only in Iraq but other conflicts as well, is completely uncalled for.

I know you people over at that publication will not take this seriously as you have shown you have no decency for the people who have died serving you and no heart for this great country of ours, however I for one will not pick up another Beast unless there is a trash can near by. 

I would like to see you put that add in the face of a mother or father whose son or daughter has given their life for you, and see their reaction.  However, you people are not like that as you hide behind the ink that puts the words on the paper of the Beast. 
Sincerely,
Matthew J Mancini

Oh sure, Matthew; everyone’s a fan when the team makes the playoffs. We’re not going to bother with an explanation of how the ad specifically targets this war and the deployment of reservists, but let us just say this: we both know this is not about WWII, so don’t even try to go there. Then, we were attacked by a nation, and we attacked them back. Now, we were attacked by a bunch of religious assholes, and we invaded a country none of them were from, sending a bunch of poor saps to kill and die in service not to you or us, but to the disgusting lies of the world’s most successful conmen. These kids have not died for us, or you for that matter; they have died for profit. We’d like to see them stop getting killed, but you seem more interested in not hurting their feelings. So who has the moral high ground here? After all, you could be with them, Matt, instead of just being an “avid supporter.

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