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Joltin’
Bolton
UN
Ambassador does what everyone said he would
Jeff
Dean
 So
new to the United Nations that he hasn’t yet memorized
his locker combination, United States Ambassador to the U.N.
John R. Bolton worked swiftly to maintain his reputation as
a large prick by introducing 750 last-minute amendments to
the U.N.’s Reform Document a scant three weeks before
the body convenes to discuss the reforms.
Bolton
bypassed the checks-and-balances system last month after it
became clear he wouldn’t be appointed in the traditional
manner. He was installed in his position via a recess appointment,
a loophole through which the executive branch can skip the
senate’s advise-and-consent powers—one which is
virtually never used for such a high-level position. Still,
he wasted little time in rolling up his sleeves and getting
to the task of dismantling the last barrier to complete American
domination of the planet. Setting his sights on the Reform
Document -- which promises to define the U.N.’s role
in world security and economic development in the face of
poverty, disease, terrorism and weapon technologies -- Bolton
has offered the U.N. a my way/highway choice. Either option
threatens to weaken the Reform Document to the point of inconsequence.
Critics
claim that the 750 amendments suggested by the United States
touch on every paragraph and effectively rewrite the document
to the benefit of the United States. The amendments remove
sections on poverty and enhance sections on free-market issues
and the promotion of democracy through the world, delete references
to the International Criminal Court and the Kyoto Treaty,
and eliminate most references to the Millennium Development
Goals, which were signed by the United States in 2000. The
MDG include eradicating hunger and poverty, achieving universal
primary education, promoting gender equality, reducing child
mortality, improving maternal health, combating disease, and
ensuring environmental stability. It is easy to understand
Bolton’s objections: what were we thinking signing THAT?
The
U.S. raised objections in mid-August, and at that time, U.N.
General Assembly President Jean Ping unveiled a plan to assemble
30 core nations to work to resolve any objections to the Reform
Document, hoping to avoid any last-minute negotiations before
the mid September convention. Ping’s suggestion was
made after Bolton suggested deleting major portions of the
document, thus gutting the initiative and dooming it to failure.
Though the United States denies trying to sabotage the process,
the U.N. is scrambling to resolve and negotiate the issues
with the deadline looming.
Bolton,
ever the nice guy, did offer that, should the U.N. find the
750 amendments a bit tough to chew, he would be most happy
to replace the 38-page document with a 3-page paper, likely
on his own letterhead.
Most
Americans have studied the situation with the same fervor
that led to the rioting over Bolton’s recess appointment.
As Minnesota Republican Senator Norm Coleman said of Bolton
prior to the appointment, “He will speak for the president
of the United States. He will speak for America.”
Hey,
wait....that’s us! Curses, foiled again.
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