Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend

Sept 7-Sept 21, 2005
Issue #83

  ..Buffalo's Best Fiend
Brown Nose
Buffalo News Endorses Mediocrity
Allan Uthman

Occupational Hazard
Why They Hate Us
Alexander Zaitchik

Lie of the Storm
No one could've predicted this, or something
Kit Smith
Joltin' Bolton
UN Ambassador as bad as you thought
Jeff Dean
Beast Calling!
A Tele-prayer with the 700 Club
(includes audio)

Area Man Remembers 9-11 Twice Daily
Ian Murphy

A debate on withdrawal

Buffalo in Briefs
The Sports Blotter
The Week in Sports Crime
Matt Taibbi
Page 3
Bills Season Preview
Ronnie Roscoe
Separated at Birth?
Kino Korner: Movies
[sic] - Letters
 Cover Page

Idiot Box
Perry Bible Fellowship
Bob the Angry Flower

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Last Issue: (82)

The Dead Zone

Both frontrunners in Buffalo’s mayoral race blew off an environmental forum at the Unitarian Church on Elmwood Ave. The snub by Republican Kevin Helfer and Democrat Byron Brown demonstrated two important lessons to the People’s Republic of Elmwood: First, it showed just how unimportant environmental issues are to today’s cash-starved politicians, and secondly, it brought home the fact that environmentalism as a movement in Buffalo is completely dead.

The forum, which was held on the weekend before the environmental disaster of Hurricane Katrina, failed to attract interest because the public overwhelmingly attributes the increase in extreme weather events not to global warming, but to mysterious “acts of God.” Hence, environmentalism is viewed by many as either retro-chic, or hopelessly out-of-date, like, say, earth shoes and earth tones.

Although God couldn’t be reached for comment, it’s safe to say that the fingerpointing in his direction won’t jeopardize political campaign contributions to either party. The wrath of God explanation also seems to carry water for both Muslim and Christian fundamentalists. So, whether the man upstairs likes it or not, 90 degree temps in the Gulf of Mexico and the hurricanes that are fueled by it are his fault. There’s nothing we can or should be doing about global warming, especially now that God has seen fit to mess with our national economy again. As the old saying goes, “Everybody complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it.”

In terms of local environmental issues, no one seems to be too concerned that the Buffalo Sewer Authority has, through years of incompetence, political patronage and corruption, left Buffalo with a sewage system that quite simply does not work. Many local people are concerned with the environment to the extent that they shop at the Lexington Co-op for organic produce and are appalled with the Bush Administration. The health risks to residents of the City’s west side stemming from the dysfunctional Bird Island Sewage Treatment Plant fails to register with these folks, despite the fact that it should be the number one environmental issue in this year’s Mayoral race. Like the expanding “dead zone” in Lake Erie, our ignorance of the environmental crimes right under our noses seems to be growing.

So you can’t blame Brown and Helfer for not showing up to debate the merits of organic produce. They don’t have to worry about any repercussions from the so-called environmental community – not at the ballot box, and certainly not at future political fundraisers. Now if the banking community had held a similar forum, attendance would have been 100%, despite the rubber chickens and Iceberg lettuce.

More Briefs:
1. Kickin' Ass & Cashing Checks
2. Seizin' Regan
3. Less is Mohr

5. Casino Paladino

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