Manage to Suck Less
...& other sporting news
again, my faithful followers, the amazing Roscoe is here
once more to give you the best sports information this side
of the Mississippi. There are several exciting things happening
in the world of sports and I’m going to discuss a few of
them and enlighten you as only the Master can.
Bills have now won two games in a row and vaulted into the
top spot in the AFC East alongside New England. As J.P.
Losman continues to disappoint, the team has turned to Kelly
Holcomb to start at quarterback. He has done a decent job,
but he isn’t the sole reason for the Bills’ recent success.
The only reason the Bills have a winning streak is
because the Dolphins and Jets suck [2 games is a streak
now? – Ed]. This week the Bills face Oakland, another
team that sucks. Sad part is, the Bills already lost to
New Orleans and they suck, so who knows what will happen?
I’m sure in Oakland they can’t wait to face the Bills because
they know we suck.
magic number continues to be 20. Under coach Mike Mularkey,
the Bills are an astonishing 12-1 when they score 20 points,
and an abysmal 0-9 when they don’t. The Raiders have played
five games, losing four of them. They have one of the worst
defenses in the league. Their offense is good, but they
usually give up 20 points. In fact, whenever they have given
up 20 points, they have lost, and the only time they kept
the opponent under 20 (against Drew Bledsoe and Dallas)
they won. The prediction here is Bills finally win on the
around the NFL, Minnesota made news off the field as over
a dozen Vikings players are said to have participated in
a sex cruise. Details are still sketchy, but 17 players
have been identified as having booked a tour on “The Love
Boat.” I’m sure most are seeking advice from their attorneys
rather than the coaches these days. Apparently a few of
the boat’s crew weren’t “on board” with the activities.
But that didn’t stop the players from making them join the
party. The Vikings were picked by many to compete for the
NFC championship, but instead they may end up with the league’s
worst record. Head Coach Mike Tice came into the season
on thin ice, and is just waiting for a Zamboni to come along
and finish him off. It is amazing that this guy returned
this year in the first place. Tice is well known to Bills
fans as the only man ever to be out-coached by Gregg Williams.
It is a very difficult title to earn, but Tice did it in
a memorable game three years ago, in Bledsoe’s first year
with Buffalo. The Bills and Vikings went to overtime tied
at 41. The game featured many big plays and dismal defense.
Bledsoe actually set a team record for most yards passing
that day. Minnesota won the overtime coin-toss and elected
to receive. Strangely, they ran three times, then punted
to the Bills. Let us not forget Randy Moss was on the field
that day, but Tice evidently was trying to trick Buffalo.
Not the best time to go with the running game, considering
neither defense could stop the other team. The Bills quickly
replied, scoring a few plays later on a Bledsoe-to-Peerless
Price touchdown pass.
college football, the USC/Notre Dame thriller was one of
the few times an event actually lived up to the pre-game
hype. USC ended up winning on a last second score, but Notre
Dame has nothing to be ashamed of. I have never been fond
of the “Golden Domers,” but the way this team has responded
to Charlie Weiss is unbelievable. They should sign him to
a lifetime contract before the NFL comes knocking again
on his door. This guy is an outstanding coach and will get
offers from NFL teams. The game also illustrated why the
Bills have been stuck in neutral since Tom Donahoe became
GM. Donahoe could have had Weiss but chose Mularkey. I guess
that shouldn’t have surprised anyone, since he could have
selected John Fox, who turned 1-15 Carolina into a Super
Bowl team. Or Marvin Lewis, who turned Cincinnati from league
laughingstock to a Super Bowl contender. But instead he
chose Williams. I guess Donahoe just figured Mularkey’s
top two pupils, Tommy Maddox and Kordell Stewart, were better
than what Weiss did with a seventh-round pick named Tom
Brady. I wonder how JP Losman might be progressing with
Weiss tutoring him.
will close with a little commentary on the World Series.
Believe it or not, I am not jumping on any bandwagon. I
picked the White Sox before the season began, but only as
a dark horse. They had finished second in their division
three straight years and had a chance this season to make
some noise. And boy, have they. Here’s to Chicago winning
the Series. It might not be the Cubs, but if Boston can
win then Chicago might as well, too.