Buffalo BEAST - Buffalo's New Best Fiend

Nov 2 - Nov16, 2005
Issue #87

  ..Buffalo's Best Fiend
All Day Suckers
Getting fooled again
Allan Uthman

The Undoucheables
Even Fitzgerald can't cleanse media pussies
Paul jones

All Eyes on Greenland
Global Warming continues to warm the globe
Alexander Zaitchik
Scalito's Way
Supreme Court loses its swing
Donnie Dobovich
Nuclear Terror goes Primetime
But who's watching?

Russ Wellen

Why 2K?
Lucky 200th dead soldier wins free autopsy
Jeff Dean

Slaving You More
A brave new world right next to the salsa
N. Sorrenti
An Evening with Malcolm McLaren
We got to hang out with him & you didn't
Paul Fallon

Ask Kim Jong Il
Advice from the world's most colorful super-villain

Judy, Judy, Judy
An interview w/ Judith Einach, Buffalo's best hopeless Mayoral candidate
Vote for Helfer or He'll Kick Your Ass
The Buffalo News' Illogical Endersement

The BEAST Blog
Irresponsible vitriol on a near-daily basis

[sic] - Letters
Wide Right
Bills Football & other sports
Kino Korner: Movies
Michael Gildea
Page 3
Separated at Birth?
 Cover Page

Idiot Box
Perry Bible Fellowship
Bob the Angry Flower

(right-click & "save target")
( Now includes classic early BEASTS!)


Last Issue: (86)

Judy, Judy, Judy: A conversation with Judith Einach - by Craig Robbins
So, we heard through the grapevine that Charlie Flynn’s guy threatened you with a cane recently. Care to elaborate? “Through the grapevine?” I said it on TV! [laughs] I really got a call on the telephone from someone who said they were representing Charlie Flynn, and he wanted to discuss the campaign with me, and I thought, well, from the sound of it, it would be better to talk in private instead of a public place. Even though it’s not always smart to meet people in private, but trusting everything would be all right, I went to his office, and he really started pressuring me to drop out of the race and back the Flynn campaign. I found him demeaning, sexist, ageist, rude in every way, and I would not capitulate to withdraw from the race no matter what argument he put in front of me, ‘cause I knew I was going to beat Charlie, anyway. So I decided I would sit there and hold my ground, and he finally got so frustrated that he picked up a walking stick from behind his desk, and started making ‘points’ with it in the air, and then he would stop in the middle, right where I was sitting, lower the stick, and point it in my direction.

Al Capone style, huh? Beautiful, classic, everything I always dreamed of. And then he would lift it up again and finish making his points. He did this repeatedly. I let him finish, I didn’t flinch, I just sat there and watched him look like a jerk. He still had the stick in his hand, and I said to him “Point your stick at the floor.” And he said to me, “Why? Are you afraid I’m going to hurt you? I’m not going to hurt you.” I said, “Point your stick at the ground, where it belongs.” So, he did, and shortly after that I stood up, and showed myself out of his office.

What is this guy’s position within the Flynn camp? You know, that was interesting, because I wasn’t even going to say anything to Charlie; I didn’t want to make any waves. Well, it happened that Charlie called me, and we got to talking, and I said, “You know, Charlie, I had this experience [with one of your guys].” At first Charlie tried to deny this man was associated with his campaign, but after a few minutes he let it slip that the man was specifically told not to call me until after I was on the ballot. You think I believe that? I don’t know what to believe, to be honest with you. So, I realized these guys are together, and then I heard from another person, whose name I won’t mention, that Flynn’s camp contacted him and told him to back their campaign instead of my own. At that point I realized one of the reasons Flynn wanted me to back their campaign is because I would bring this other gentleman with me.

Anyway, I told Charlie, “Don’t ever have your guy call me again,” and I would have dropped the whole thing. Unfortunately, two or three days before the WNED debate, Flynn’s guy calls me again! And he’s got the nerve to say to me, “Okay, you’ve got what you wanted, you’re on the ballot, so now drop out.” The follow-up to this whole fiasco is that this guy from South Buffalo calls me up and says “You’re my hero!” I say, “What are you talking about?” and the guy on the phone goes, “We all know Flynn’s still a hooligan…what you said about him in that debate made my old mother stand up from her chair and say, ‘I’m voting for Her!’ In living rooms and barrooms all over Buffalo there was a cheer when you said that.”

As a city, how can we start to utilize renewable energy sources, and help residents save money on their energy bills? In San Francisco, for example, there is a Municipal alternative power program in place. There are solar panels that are placed on top of privately owned buildings, with agreements between the owners and the city. The city places these panels on buildings throughout the city, and in exchange for collecting the solar energy, the price of energy to the building owners goes way down. We need to figure out how we can have municipal power here. I can tell you that both Mr. Helfer and Mr. Brown both sat on the Buffalo Common Council with Al Coppola seven years ago. Mr. Coppola put forth a measure to purchase both the power lines and telephone poles from the Electric Companies and the Power Authority. Coppola needed one more vote to pass his measure in the Common Council, and neither Brown nor Helfer voted yes for the measure. If Coppola’s measure had passed, we would be halfway to paying off the Bond Issue. Across New York State, communities that have purchased the power lines and poles are able to buy electricity on the open market. They are paying so much less than we pay. We’re still subsidizing the rest of the state, which is buying power on the open market, at prices that are drastically lower than the rates we pay. We could have wiped out the Power Authority had Mr. Brown or Mr. Helfer voted yes to Al Coppola’s proposed measure.

How would you rate the mayoral race coverage in the local media? The network media? They’re going to be in for a shock. When I win an online poll on a network TV website and the poll disappears, even from the archives, there is something seriously wrong…somebody doesn’t want me to win.

Is there any media outlet in particular who is the worst offender? Channel 4’s last poll disappeared. I made the ballot; they put me on the web poll. I logged on in the afternoon, Brown was at 66% and I was at zero. Later that night, Brown was down to 33%, Helfer was at 14%, Charlie was at 2%, and I was at 44%. And the next day the poll disappears. Pretty heavy! Now Channel 2 doesn’t even include my name on their polls. After the last debate, Channel 7 reported that “Brown and Helfer are running neck-and-neck.” They interviewed one person who supported Brown, and one person who supported Helfer. Well I’m telling you…I was the only candidate who walked straight into the audience; my opponents walked backstage and ignored the audience. I had a ton of support in that audience. People I didn’t even know, strangers supporting me…so, did they ask anybody else? They didn’t show it!

How will you encourage the African-Americans of this city to trust the police enough to testify when a crime is committed? How can we help them protect their neighborhoods? Well we’ve shown no commitment to their neighborhoods, at all. Why would they believe that if they spoke up, we’d have their backs? We should be out in front of them, so they wouldn’t even have to watch their backs. I know that I want to find a very good police commissioner, who is very sensitive to these issues. I think we can find one from within the ranks, one who will be respected by the department, and will be able to work with other law enforcement agencies throughout the county, the state, and the federal government if need be. We need to do as much human relations work as necessary, and I’m open to anything that will work. I want to find the right commissioner and figure out what our community is most comfortable with, and build on that.

What kind of plan would you have for demolishing condemned homes, and turning them into green space, or land ready for development? Look at other communities who have used green space in creative ways. We are one of the poorest cities in the nation right now. And that means we have a food insecurity problem right now. We definitely have to use our land practically, to grow food. When people grow things, they also have a stake in life, they become hopeful. It hits at two levels…as crazy as urban farming sounds to some people, it could be a real savior for the people in this city. We also don’t have any playgrounds for kids in Buffalo. We used to, but we failed to keep them up, children got hurt, the city got sued, and instead of fixing the playground equipment, they took away all the playgrounds so they wouldn’t get sued. We need playgrounds everywhere, safe places for kids to play.

Where would the best place in the city be to burn your car for insurance money? Oh, I would do it behind the old Quality market on the corner of Grant and Hampshire.

What would you do to wean the city off of the Control Board in the near future? By law, it’s an undeniable fact for more than twenty years. I really don’t see, the way the budget looks, in the first four years, maybe even into eight years, how to get the city off of the Control Board. It’s my understanding the city can’t be involved in deficit borrowing. So you have to have a budget that can function on it’s own, and given the nature of labor costs and the way people negatively perceive those costs, and the way the state constitution protects labor, combined with our inability to generate wealth around here…we are stuck with an active control board at least through the first term of the next mayor.

What are some of your ideas on encouraging home buyers to purchase a house and live in the city of Buffalo, and reducing the effects of urban sprawl in outlying communities? We certainly have to have sound land-use planning. I can’t see the county taking the lead on that. I think if we have a Mayor that’s willing to take the lead on that issue, we would find many public servants around the area who would be cooperative. We can start attracting people back to the city by creating fun places for people to live, have a city that makes them feel safe…and there are some real simple things we can do.

In a bar-room brawl, who would win: Superintendent Williams vs. Phil Rumore? Williams would have more technique…but Rumore would be wilder.

What about Billy Dee Williams vs. three Byron Browns? Billy Dee, hands down, Billy Dee.

What can we do to get better food access to inner-city neighborhoods? You need markets that carry the staples: fresh vegetables, quality foods for reasonable prices. I’m working with people from Rochester and Ithaca to develop a network of regional farms that sell to inner-city, under-served markets to provide an old “Green Grocer” type stores providing access to real food. We would employ neighborhood people, train them in management, and provide jobs.

How do you feel about the proposed Seneca casino? Well I’m the one candidate who is absolutely opposed to that casino. Point blank, dead on, no way.

It just doesn’t seem smart to give away land to another nation in the middle of your city… Absolutely, and another nation doesn’t have to pay benefits or taxes. And, after fourteen years, they can change it from a casino and do whatever they want there. What could we do to stop them?

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