Collect 'em All!

An exclusive rush transcript of a White House ethics course
Allan Uthman

From Russia with Rage
Mark Ames promotes new book
Paul Jones

It’s amazing what a person can accomplish with a few proper restraints, a wet cloth and steadily dripping water.
Ian Murphy

The BEAST's simian scribe gives us a heart to heart conversation about drugs

Pandemic Of Fear
Bird Flu is not a food-borne illness; so far the only people who have contracted it live or work (in Asia) with live chickens.  So why the uproar?
Kit Smith

What are we thankful for?

Today's topic: Samuel Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court

Reader Opinions
Our distinguished readers weigh in on current events

Kenneth Y. Tomlinson last week stepped down from his seat on the Corporation for Public Broadcasting’s board of directors.
Jeff Dean

Interview With A Charred Corpse
The BEAST chats with the seared remains of a 2004 napalm attack  on Fallujah

The 20 FUNNIEST THINGS about Pastor Joel Osteen Going To Heaven
by N. Sorrenti

Classic Hammer Rings Untrue For Today's Early Teens

Sheer Idiocy Scores Victory Over Evolution

THIS ISSUE: Derailed, Pride And Prejudice, Jarhead, Chicken Little, and more!

Losman to the rescue... and Yoda too!

by Andrew Gullerstein


The BEAST answers your letters

Idiot Box

Perry Bible Fellowship


Nov. 16 - Nov. 30, 2005

Lord Byron

The elections are over and the results could be worse. Paladino-puppet Kevin Helfer gained only about a 5% bump from his Buffalo-Niagara Partnership and Buffalo News endorsements, so now we can calmly go back to bashing Byron Brown. Brown needs to make it clear from day one that he really is going to do things differently, or we won’t be the only ones.

Many incumbents will be out in January, at the county and town levels, either because they lost or they saw the writing on the wall and chose not to run. Unfortunately, County Legislature Chairman George Holt wasn’t among them, and we’re also stuck with Sheriff Tim Howard. But Holt is a non-factor—although he does plan to run again for Chairman, and letting him have that position again would be a travesty.

Overall there’s a lot of fresh blood, and unseated Republicans. The Legislature will be overwhelmingly Democratic now, and unfettered by the universally shunned County Executive, whose approval they need not seek to pass any old thing they want—provided they don’t find a way to split and struggle anyhow. Perhaps. But who will watch them? Democrat Mark Poloncarz scored an upset in the race for the all-important county Comptroller position – who knows; maybe he’ll even do the job.

He’d better. They’d all better, the Mayor and the Legislature especially. We’ll be watching, as will others, and we’d better see some fucking action this time, or it’s time to start congregating and lighting torches.


One of the more surprising results was in the race for Amherst Town Supervisor, in which rich, high-profile incumbent Susan Grelick lost to UB Prof Satish Mohan, an underdog candidate from the beginning who won by a significant margin, despite the fact that he is named Satish Mohan. How did it happen? One obvious reason is that Mohan promised to cut taxes by 15% without reducing services, which seems impossible, and coupled with other Mohan campaign promises, like his messianic promises to "end flooding" and sinking homes in Amherst, makes Mohan seem like, well, a surprisingly savvy politician who knows how to exaggerate his head off to get elected.

Another reason is that Amherst Democratic Chair Dennis Ward didn’t lift a finger to help Grelick, according to a campaign staffer. It’s fairly well known that Ward, along with his brother, Amherst town board member Dan Ward, don’t exactly love Grelick, for supporting candidates not endorsed by them and for her cozy relationships with developers. But to the point of letting a GOP candidate take her seat? To be fair, the Republicans wouldn’t touch Mohan until he took the nomination.

Also, Amherst voters have been ticked off by a recent rash of reassessments of their property values, which amounted to a de facto rise in property taxes. What if anything Grelick had to do with the reassessments we don’t know, but people tend to take aim at the most visible member of their local regime when they get angry.

Beyond Control

Now that the election is over and we no longer have any recourse against them, the exiting county legislature has finally found the fortitude to raise our sales tax and fend off a “hard” county control board for now. How brave. Of course, the board will continue to soak up our tax money (over a million a year in sales tax, according to the Buffalo News). Clearly, this situation is about as retarded as it gets.

 Some people, fed up with local politicians, would prefer a hard control board for the county, despite the fact that it effectively eliminates representative government, which seems just a little bit too unconstitutional for our tastes. But lets not forget how many of those politicians will be gone next year, precisely because voters were fed up. That’s how representative government is supposed to work. What would be great is if our newly elected legislators would actually represent us, and make the situation better all by themselves. Then maybe someday we could kick the control board altogether.









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