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ETHICS 666
An exclusive rush transcript of a White House ethics course
Allan Uthman

From Russia with Rage
Mark Ames promotes new book
Paul Jones

I DICK
Itís amazing what a person can accomplish with a few proper restraints, a wet cloth and steadily dripping water.
Ian Murphy

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU, MONKEY
The BEAST's simian scribe gives us a heart to heart conversation about drugs

Pandemic Of Fear
Bird Flu is not a food-borne illness; so far the only people who have contracted it live or work (in Asia) with live chickens.  So why the uproar?
Kit Smith

INFOGRAPHIC
What are we thankful for?

WOP - COUNTERWOP
Today's topic: Samuel Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court

Reader Opinions
Our distinguished readers weigh in on current events

PBS, NPR KO CPB SOB
Kenneth Y. Tomlinson last week stepped down from his seat on the Corporation for Public Broadcasting’s board of directors.
Jeff Dean

Interview With A Charred Corpse
The BEAST chats with the seared remains of a 2004 napalm attack  on Fallujah

The 20 FUNNIEST THINGS about Pastor Joel Osteen Going To Heaven
by N. Sorrenti

Classic Hammer Rings Untrue For Today's Early Teens

Sheer Idiocy Scores Victory Over Evolution


KINO KORNER
THIS ISSUE: Derailed, Pride And Prejudice, Jarhead, Chicken Little, and more!

WIDE RIGHT
Losman to the rescue... and Yoda too!

BEAST-O-SCOPES
by Andrew Gullerstein

The BEAST PAGE 3
COOL MOM

[sic]
The BEAST answers your letters

COMIX:
Idiot Box

Perry Bible Fellowship

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