Infographic: How are we waging war on Christmas?

Idiot Box by Matt Bors

Perry Bible Fellowship by Nicholas Gurewitch

Bob the Angry Flower by Stephen Notely


Saint Bill Does Buffalo

By the time you read this, Bill Clinton will have rode into town and out again. He was the guest of Buffalo Sabres owner and mega rich political Neanderthal Tom Golisano. Bill will have been worshiped by the local Democratic Party faithful at a rally at the convention center, where he will have Hillary at his side posturing as the next “Democrat ” President. Later, he will have been Golisano’s guest at the Sabres/Stars game at HSBC arena. (Roscoe predicted Sabres win 4-1) His visit to lowly Buffalo will have been covered by all the local media with the breathless adulation usually reserved for a Papal visit. Bill Clinton is Democratic Party superstar political royalty.

We can ’t tell you precisely what happened because we had to have the paper into the printer on Wednesday before Clinton got here. Maybe Bill slipped on some ice or Hillary passed out again, we can only hope an unforeseen calamity befell the posers from Arkansas. Barring that delicious scenario we have a pretty good idea that it was a nauseating display of Democratic Party hero worship of a man that deserves more scorn than accolades. The events of the day were just another episode of the saccharine self-delusional tripe the passes for political theater these sad days. The party of the people, of FDR and the hope for a better life for all Americans have become just the other party in malevolent pursuit of political power. And their fans love them for it and it showed Wednesday.

The party faithful cheered and screamed like they were teenagers at a Jessica Simpson con cert as Bill and Hillary smiled, waved and worked the crowd. They both spoke briefly encouraging the Buffalo crowd to remain vigilant and that better times were on the horizon. Better schools, good jobs and affordable health care were soon to come for all hard working people of our fair city. They both ignored any questions about the failed war in Iraq except to praise the troops and assure us of victory would come with determined Democratic leadership. Every Democratic politician from here to Rochester was in attendance and jockeyed for position relentlessly trying to get themselves photographed shaking hands with Bill Clinton, the best President ever. Byron Brown came up to Bill and he thought he was Eddy Murphy. Everyone laughed. Motorcades and police escorts zoomed through the city streets and everyone didn’t mind the inconvenience. Even the Sabres fans welcomed the former President and the next Democratic Presidential candidate.

When the day was done Democrats across Western New York reflected on their good fortune. Bill Clinton was here and he said everything was going to be just fine. The sheer idiocy of these thoughts didn’t register with the happy Democrats. So what if we ’re ignoring reality in the face of superfluous spectacle? Bill Clinton said the American people and the people of Buffalo will be fine and that ’s enough isn’t it? He wouldn’t lie to us would he?

President Clinton is idolized by the Democratic Party because he was their last big win. In a country where winning is every thing that is the only justification for him being held in such high regard. It is likewise the myth that many Democrats hope will shine divine light on Hillary ’s chances of becoming president in 2008.

The fact of the matter is Bill and Hillary are both craven political prostitutes. It ’s true that the Clinton presidency has elevated the couple to superstar status but even superstar prostitutes are still prostitutes. The fact is that the Democratic Party has become the other party of privilege. Their dual primary concerns are getting elected and raising money to get elected. The Clintons came to Buffalo and recharged the batteries of their Democratic supporters. Bill Clinton was here, he was real and all the trusting Democrats were part of that little bit of history. It will not occur to them that this is exactly why we have become a country that has lost all it ’s dignity and a country that has lost any opposition to the malevolent designs of the well placed and well heeled.


You may remember Jack Davis as the septuagenarian Republican turned Democrat that gave the merchant of slime Congressman Tom Reynolds a bit of a fight in the 2004 Congressional race. On November 30th the Buffalo News got an early Christmas present in the form of a $15, 000 full page political advertisement from old Jack and his recently minted Save American Jobs Party. Then that Sunday, December 4th, the News ’, seemingly akin to the pay for favorable coverage scam that a week earlier the News faulted douche bag Joe Illuzzi and his pals for running, ran a favorable piece on Davis.

Whores of a different color? The News ’local political reporter, Bob Mr. Potato Head McCarthy, penned the piece about Davis in his typical doltish manner and maybe being somewhat aware of the Illuzzi implication made a candy-assed effort to appear objective. (See endnote below) News ’fellatio aside Davis looks like he ’s going to take another run at Reynolds but why is he wasting money on the News?

We first told you about Davis in November 2003 in issue 27 when he got himself thrown out of a Dick Cheney fund-raiser at the Park Lane for having the audacity to suggest that the administration should reconsider its free trade position. Back then we said “Davis wants to put tariffs on goods from countries like China who have a huge work force that are treated basically as slave labor and we can ’t compete with that. I don ’t know what the answer to the problem is but at least Mr. Davis is demanding the issue be addressed. ” When we wrote about Davis back then we were hoping that the old rich Republican ’s anger would morph into rationale outspoken criticism of the globalization myth.

Unfortunately he hasn’t refined his message much in the intervening two years despite the $1, 000, 000 he spent challenging Reynolds in 2004. His ad in the News was a 1, 500+word poorly written world according to Jack screed. We realize that maybe he wanted it to look like the ad was a Buffalo News article and therefore he had to dumb it down but it came off as a lackluster economics treatise.

We said Davis ’anti-globalization message was important when we first wrote about him. “It ’s (free trade) probably the most important issue facing us as citizens of America today. “ Unfortunately Davis ’2004 campaign and where he seems has a large dose of xenophobia. Davis doesn’t see is that it isn’t about attacking other countries no matter how brutal they are. It ’s about what we do here to constrain the mostly American corporations that are running amok. As we said back then “it boils down to whether we want to govern ourselves or to be governed by unaccountable multi-national corporations. ”

We nevertheless wish Davis well in his race against Reynolds. Tom Reynolds is our own Tom Delay in waiting, i. e. a fucking worthless piece of shit. If Davis is going to give Reynolds a fight, however, he ’s going to have to come up with a better plan than paying the News for expensive ads in return for lukewarm praise. I have an idea Jack; spend your money on the Beast.

Endnote: Bob McCarthy you are so full of shit! There is absolutely no support for your contention in the Davis piece where you say, "Reynolds has never epitomized the free trader philosophy. He raised questions about some aspects of globalization in 2003 before anyone outside of Akron ever head of Jack Davis." This is complete unadulterated bullshit and you know it! The first time that swine Reynolds ever mollified his ardent support for all that is free trade was after Davis got thrown out of the Reynolds sponsored Cheney fund-raiser on November 18, 2003. More than a month later on December 30, 2003 you wrote in the News, "Politicians Feel the Impact of NAFTA," and this is what you said about your pig faced friend Reynolds. “Even some of Congress’ most conservative Republicans, however, such as Rep. Thomas M. Reynolds of Clarence, are coming to new positions. Reynolds has become more vocal in recent months about the need to include treaty safeguards that don ’t hand automatic advantages to foreign competitors. ”I consider myself a free-trade guy, but I also want to see fair trade, ”he said, pointing to problems that Buffalo ’s Eastman Machine Co. has faced from Chinese companies essentially copying Eastman designs and selling them worldwide at substantially lower prices. ” Reynolds was doing nothing more than being his usual amoral political self and trying to mollycoddle his disenchanted supporters as a result of Davis ’attack. You suck McCarthy, you and Illuzzi should get together and share a few whorror stories.

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